Talk:Alternative Investment Fund Managers Directive 2011/Archive 3

Suggestions for introduction
Hi everybody! This article is already looking so much improved and a better resource for readers. As my final request here, I'd like to propose a cleaner, more concise introduction to replace the current one or perhaps be used to update it. I've included a proposed draft of this section below, with markup:

Again, I do have a financial WP:COI as I am proposing this update as a paid consultant to the Managed Funds Association, and won't be making edits to any section of this article myself. I'm just proposing this section for feedback, and possible placement. Let me know how this suits the article! 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 15:57, 4 August 2015 (UTC)


 * I see no problems with respect to COI but would make the following minor comments/suggestions:
 * The word "European" should not link to European, which is a disambiguation page. Linking to European Union would be better, though since the directive has EEA relevance, linking to European Economic Area might be even better.
 * The word "regulation" should be replaced by "directive". "Regulation" is misleading in an EU context. If the intention is to use a word that is better understood in a non-EU content, I think slightly different wording would be needed. The background is that EU legislation has things called "regulations", which are in fact (mostly) laws, and are immediately applicable in all member states; if the EU Constitution had been ratified, they would, I believe, have actually been called laws. On the other hand, "directives" (which would have been called something like "framework laws") direct national governments to bring national law into compliance, which generally involves enacting national laws.
 * The string of attributive nouns before "fund managers" is slightly confusing.
 * "By May 2014" is slightly misleading because the date by which member states had to transpose the directive into national law (July 22, 2013) has not yet been mentioned, which might make the reader think that the member states were late by two more years.
 * "Nations" should be replaced by "member states". Nations can be an issue in the EU.
 * --Boson (talk) 21:20, 4 August 2015 (UTC)
 * note - there is content in the lead critical of the financial industry that this replacement would remove from the article. Jytdog (talk) 21:44, 4 August 2015 (UTC)


 * Thanks Boson, all good points as usual, I really do appreciate your thorough reviews! To respond to each of your points, I've put together an updated version, in which I've:


 * Changed the wikilink on European to direct the user to European Economic Area
 * Changed all the instances of "regulation" to "directive"
 * Altered the confusing sentence to read: "applies to hedge fund managers; private equity fund managers, real estate fund managers, and managers of other alternative investments"
 * Clarified the date on the article being cited, as opposed to the details described in the article
 * Replaced the mention of "nations" with "member states"


 * In regards to your comment, Jytdog, I see your point about removing this information and I'm open to thoughts on what best to include here. On the one hand, I don't want to whitewash any criticism of the industry nor remove helpful background to the introduction of the AIFMD, but on the other, those details don't currently have any support in the lead and sources aren't so clear cut this. I've made a suggestion in this draft for a potential addition, which of course can be added to or amended as you think best.


 * Here is a second version of the Introduction, including the edits I've described above:


 * Thank you again for your comments on this! If you have more concerns, make sure to shoot them my way, and I'll take another look. Thanks, 16912 Rhiannon (Talk &middot; COI) 16:05, 12 August 2015 (UTC)


 * Pinging here to see if Boson or Jytdog have had a chance to look at this again? Let me know if you have any more questions. Thanks, 16912 Rhiannon (Talk &middot; COI) 14:16, 24 August 2015 (UTC)
 * I have taken the proposed text live, but also added a bit to the background section to address concerns raised and add attribution (previous text in lede was tagged). --Boson (talk) 19:33, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much, Boson! You've been so fantastic on this topic, I'm really appreciative of all your efforts and I hope you agree this article is in MUCH better shape now. Thanks again, 16912 Rhiannon (Talk &middot; COI) 20:41, 16 September 2015 (UTC)