Talk:Alto's Odyssey/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 01:17, 25 April 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:17, 25 April 2023 (UTC)

Earwig finds no issues. -- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:02, 26 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Both the images need the fur templates filled out more completely -- there are some "n.a."s in the current FURs.
 * What's the reason to include the gameplay screenshot? The FUR currently says "I want to show the new dynamic weather system present in Alto's Odyssey" but to a reader like me who knows nothing about the game it's just an image of a balloon on a hillside.  A fair use image has to enhance the reader's understanding per WP:NFCC.
 * What makes file770.com a reliable source? As far as I can see this is Mike Glyer's fanzine.
 * The lead is too short. It's a short article, so we don't need a long lead, but there's room for two or three more sentences about the gameplay, development and reception.
 * "Alto's Odyssey keeps the same basic gameplay of the original, being a side-scrolling endless runner based around snowboarding (now sandboarding).". I think "being" isn't a very fluent way to introduce the gameplay description, and then it's not ideal to have the new mechanic (snowboarding) introduced inside a parenthesis.  And we haven't explicitly said it's a sequel to Alto's Adventure yet, except in the lead; we should say that in the body too.  How about "Alto's Odyssey is a sequel to Alto's Adventure and has the same basic gameplay as the original game: both are side-scrolling endless runners.  Alto's Odyssey is based around sandboarding, instead of snowboarding as in the original."?
 * One more suggested tweak: how about changing "At its core the game remains a side-scrolling endless runner based around snowboarding. With the change to the desert setting, the player character now sandboards instead." to "At its core the game remains a side-scrolling endless runner, in which the player character now sandboards through a desert setting, instead of snowboarding as in the original game."? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:52, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
 * "The sequel is set in a desert which features three "biomes" you can unlock that each focus on different mechanics." Avoid second-person pronouns in gameplay; see the video game MoS.
 * The first paragraph of the gameplay is unsourced, as is a sentence at the end of the third paragraph. This seems to say secondary sources are required -- I think I've seen video games with gameplay cited only to the game itself, though.  I can ask at the VG Wikiproject if you don't know.
 * Still one uncited sentence. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:52, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
 * "Another biome is the canyons, which highlights the new wall riding mechanic, allowing the player to climb up the side of canyon walls by holding down on the screen": either "canyons, which highlight" or "canyon, which highlights", whichever is correct. And "highlights" isn't right -- the biome allows (or requires) the use of the mechanic, or perhaps introduces it, but to highlight it would mean to place focus on it.
 * Same subject/verb number agreement problem in the next sentence: "temples, which has".
 * "The game adds new features, such as wall-riding ...": We've already mentioned wall-riding so perhaps "In addition to wall-riding, new features include ..."
 * There's an unsourced sentence at the start of the "Reception" section.
 * "The game was released on February 21, 2018, a day earlier than the date shown in the trailer." This is cited to the trailer, which can't be used to cite the actual release date since it predates it.
 * You've added a new source, but it still predates the actual release so can't be used to say it did happen, only that it was planned for that date. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:10, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
 * "Wall-riding and balloon bouncing were added in order to add": can we avoid the repetition of "add"?


 * Okay, finished all of the above. I also reworked the first paragraph of the gameplay section, so you might want to double check in case something sounds a bit off. FlyingKangeroo (talk) 07:26, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
 * A couple of issues left above. I'll do spotchecks next. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 10:52, 27 April 2023 (UTC)

Spotchecks -- footnote numbers refer to this version: -- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:10, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
 * FN 15 cites "A version for Apple Arcade with an additional city area was released on July 16, 2021, under the title, Alto’s Odyssey: The Lost City." Verified except for the date -- this needs to say "announced for" or some similar language, as the source predates the release date.
 * FN 2 cites "Code from the original game was used in Odyssey, but was significantly modified." Verified.
 * FN 12 cites "On June 4 of that year, the game was awarded with an Apple Design Award for Outstanding Design and Innovation." This is a dead link; this is a link to an archived version, but it only says it won an award, not what the category was, so you may need another source for that.  I don't regard this as a failed verification though since I would think the original link did verify this.
 * FN 21 cites "Pocket Gamer thought that Alto's Odyssey's visuals improved over its predecessor, remarking "Alto’s Odyssey manages to one-up Adventure in terms of creating a gorgeous atmosphere". However, the outlet criticized the game for sticking too close to the first game, making the game feel familiar." Verified.


 * Made those changes. For the Apple Design Award one, I changed that to be general as its apparently a collection of ten games and apps chosen each year, not really a specific award. FlyingKangeroo (talk) 22:23, 28 April 2023 (UTC)

I went back through and there are three outstanding points: -- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) Fixed the sourcing issues. I expanded the middle section in the lead a bit, which I think gives more context to what the game actually is.FlyingKangeroo (talk) 22:42, 29 April 2023 (UTC)
 * The lead is too short.
 * There's an uncited sentence in the gameplay section.
 * I don't think builtbysnowman.medium.com is a reliable source; medium.com seems to be a blogging platform. You're using it for the release date on Apple Arcade; I think you might have to do what you did for the iOS release date and just give the announced planned date.
 * I think the lead is still a bit shorter than it could be, but since it's such a short article I'm going to go ahead and pass this now as the other issues are fixed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:58, 30 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for doing the review! FlyingKangeroo (talk) 17:14, 30 April 2023 (UTC)