Talk:Amby McConnell

Style comments
Nice work! The following read awkwardly; try splitting it into two sentences and move the 'date of death' sentence to the Personal Life section: ''After making his debut the following season and spending three seasons with the Red Sox, McConnell was traded in the middle of the 1910 season to the Chicago White Sox. He spent the next two years of his career there before playing his last game on October 8, 1911.''

Also,
 * renowned is puffy language WP:PEA
 * however WP:OPED
 * On a positive note uh-uh, you are stating facts, not telling a story.

I'd like to clean up a word here and there, otherwise, nice job. I put my comments on the DYK nom page &#91;deadhenry&#93; (talk) 03:26, 15 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Done. Finished addressing all your points. I left one "however" in there because the source used ([1]) justifies that standpoint. —Bloom6132 (talk) 18:35, 15 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Re-reading the article today, I realize I'm being picky. I'm a noob and am trying to learn the WP system correctly. It's an interesting article; I'm a big baseball fan myself. That superstition of Amby's is compelling. Have you thought of "fleshing-out" the Baseball superstition page with it and possibly more that you might know? &#91;+&#93;&#91;deadhenry&#93; (talk) 19:17, 15 October 2012 (UTC)
 * You're doing great actually. It's always better to have a WP user like you who is passionate about improving its articles rather than one that passes any article that comes on by. And yes, I've added a bit more to the superstitions page. Cheers! —Bloom6132 (talk) 20:31, 15 October 2012 (UTC)