Talk:Analog revival/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator:

Reviewer: Jonathanischoice (talk · contribs) 23:00, 20 March 2024 (UTC)

Hi - I'll review this over the next day or so, adding comments below, followed by an initial assessment in the table, then allow some time for a bit of to-and-fro etc. Sorry for the delay. — Jon (talk) 00:06, 24 March 2024 (UTC)

Review comments

 * it took until the early 21st century for major manufacturers to begin producing analog synthesizers again might read better as something like ...to resume production of analog synthesizers


 * Introduce Robert Moog, e.g. American engineer Robert Moog, fix "his the" to "his"


 * Fix redundancy in the last sentence, {{tq|}In the 1980s, [...] in the 1980s.}}


 * The wording of the citation of Barlindhaug in the second sentence is awkward; perhaps just add a short-form citation to the source (already in §Sources).


 * More generally the first paragraph needs citations around the 1988 dance music emergence, use of Roland drum machines, etc.
 * do you have an opportunity to address basically the first half of this first paragraph (of the "20th century: dance music revival" section)? I think if we got the citations fixed up and/or the prose reworked a little, we can pass this as GA. — Jon (talk) 12:04, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I noticed the review only yesterday, thank you for taking this on @Jon. I should be able to carry out these last points as I did with another outstanding nomination, so there's no need for anyone else to do the work I really should be doing! I can look at it sometime tonight. Schminnte &#91;talk to me&#93; 12:23, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I don't generally get involved in FA/GA stuff any more, but I'm always happy to do some copyediting. If I were reviewing this article, I'd ask for better prose; sentences such as "the growing demand for analog created by this movement was not capitalized on fully for some time" are IMO a little clunky. (Sorry for the bluntness.) I'll see if I can make time for it later this week. Popcornfud (talk) 12:25, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Very well, I'll place this on hold which gives us 7 days. Cheers — Jon (talk) 20:59, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
 * 1) I've changed the in-text citation to an sfn, 2) I've added some more citations to make it clearer which source is being referred to in different sentences, 3) I've changed that particular phrasing and quickly copyedited the prose. I'm more than willing to go through the prose again, just waiting for additional comments if needed. All the best, Schminnte &#91;talk to me&#93; 00:15, 26 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Cheers, this looks good to me, but I'll have a more thorough look later tonight when I'm free. — Jon (talk) 08:03, 27 March 2024 (UTC)