Talk:Andrew Sledd/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 14:20, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

Lead and infobox
✅ Added major employers. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Expanded lead paragraph to include brief synopsis of each headlined section. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Eliminated repetitive word choices. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Eliminated citations from lead paragraph and re-ordered footnotes. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)
 * "Occupation" normally refers to his job; so minister and academic, for example. There should be a | employer = field available for the infobox, which you can use for institutions where he worked. See the full Template:Infobox person if there are any other fields you can fill there.
 * The lead is a summary of the article as a whole, and as such should contain some detail on his early life and education
 * Can you find an alternative word for "served"? It's used twice in two successive sentences.
 * You've referenced one point in the lead; leads should be either entirely referenced or entirely unreferenced. There is an exception for quotes (which must always be referenced), but not quotes of this type.

Early life and education
✅ Inserted comma. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Usage is now consistent. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Usage is now consistent. FYI, he did leave Randolph-Macon without completing his B.A. to accept the principal position. In the late 1800s, a college degree was not a prerequisite for secondary school positions. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Agreed. Suggestion implemented. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)
 * "In 1888, Sledd entered Methodist-affiliated Randolph-Macon College located in Ashland, Virginia" - "In 1888, Sledd entered Methodist-affiliated Randolph-Macon College, located in Ashland, Virginia"
 * Randolf-Macon is a college, but you've identified him as the "school's outstanding athlete". Since "school" normally refers to either an institute of primary education or a faculty within a university/college, can I suggest using "college's" or similar?
 * "Sledd left school without finishing his degree requirements to accept a position" - confusing, since it looks at first glance like he left school without finishing the degree requirements necessary to accept a position. Again, "school".
 * "After teaching in Arkansas for two years, he returned to Randolph-Macon, and completed his bachelor of arts and master of arts degrees simultaneously in 1894.[4] After" - two afters. Can I suggest "After teaching in Arkansas for two years, he returned to Randolph-Macon, and completed his bachelor of arts and master of arts degrees simultaneously in 1894.[4] Following his graduation, he was ordained as a Methodist minister"
 * Is it worth capitalising the degrees? master of arts becomes Master of Arts, for example
 * I tend to err on the side of not capitalizing words unless they are proper nouns. More common on your side of the pond to capitalize more.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

✅ Agreed: ". . . the era." Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)
 * "While he was at Harvard, he played for the college's baseball team and was remembered as one of Harvard's greatest athletes of his era" - suggest a replacement for the "his" in "his era". Again, is it appropriate to claim he played for the College's team when he was at a university?

Scholar and educator

 * "The idealistic young minister was outraged" - too short for a standalone sentence. I suggest merging it into the preceding or succeeding sentence.
 * I actually think the short declarative sentence is fairly dramatic and makes its point. Unless you have a major objection, I would like to leave it as is.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)


 * "The Negro: Another View," - unless the title contained a comma, it should be "The Negro: Another View",
 * This is an example of American vs. British punctuation. On this side of the Atlantic, periods and commas (other than semi-colons, oddly) are placed inside the quote marks.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

✅ Peer review made similar comment. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC) ✅ Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)
 * The Southern University section is too short to have its own section. I suggest merging it somewhere.
 * "In 1914, Sledd returned to the renamed Emory University" - link Emory University.
 * Link American Standard Version

Legacy
✅ Agreed. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 13:33, 25 January 2010 (UTC)
 * "Sledd died deep in debt, having lost the family home to foreclosure when the salaries of Candler professors were cut when financial support of the school was reduced" - "Sledd died deep in debt, having lost the family home to foreclosure after the salaries of Candler professors were cut when financial support of the school was reduced"