Talk:Angels Cry (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Azealia911 (talk · contribs) 17:35, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

I'll get to this before the week end is over  Azealia 911   talk  17:35, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Will you have a review posted by Sunday? — Calvin999  09:18, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes.  Azealia 911  talk  18:34, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * ""Angels Cry" preceded by a one minute" needs a 'was' added after 'Cry'.
 * "purely in her whistle register" remove 'her', she does not own a special variety of whistle tone.
 * No you need to keep the pronoun otherwise it doesn't make sense. It is her whistle register she's using, that's the part of her voice she's employing to di it. — Calvin999  21:23, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Nothing on the songs genre?
 * No. I would have included it if a review had stated it. — Calvin999  21:23, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Overview

 * The entire first paragraph needs rewriting or possibly moving to a 'Credits' section. Having reviewed a few of your GAN's before I can see you're not overtly fond of these sections, so I'll respect your preference. But gosh, that first paragraph is a mess. "Copyright 2009 Rye Songs which is administered by Songs of Universal (BMI)/RZE Music Publishing/Universal Music Publising (ASCAP)/C Style Ink/Slide That Music//EMI April Music Publishing Inc." can all be removed, it provides nothing to the reader and just ruins the flow of the section. Perhaps it would have been appropriate in a 'Credits' section, but not in a paragraph of text. "Track fourteen is a one minute, four second prelude called "Angel (The Prelude)" which leads into the fifteenth track, "Angels Cry"." needs rewriting, it sounds like it's from the albums article. "It was written and produced by Carey, Stewart and Wright." is already mentioned at the beginning of the paragraph and can be removed. "however Garten and Thomas recorded the prelude at the Studio at the Palms in Las Vegas in addition to Honeywest Studios. The prelude consists of Carey performing only whistle notes." isn't relevant and can be removed, make sure not to talk too much about the prelude, this is about the track that follows it. There's also too many mentions of last names, but I'll make more comments on this once you've addressed the ones I've already made.
 * I've made changed but I'm not removing that they also wrote the prelude, otherwise it's unclear who did. — Calvin999  21:28, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * I assumed the sentence about who had written the actual song had been written twice, try switching "It was written" for "The prelude was written".  Azealia 911  talk  00:44, 26 October 2015 (UTC)


 * "that the song had a "sad" tone, she praised" → "that the song had a "sad" tone, while she praised"
 * That doesn't make sense grammatically, especially when you read it aloud. — Calvin999  21:29, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * My bad, I didn't see the 'Although' and thought the sentence started with Ann Powers.  Azealia 911  talk  00:44, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Background and release

 * I feel like this section leaves us hanging, could you possibly add a section confirming that she was indeed working on a new christmas album?
 * I didn't on purpose because I thought you would have said it was irrelevant, as talking about something which takes place 10 months after the release of this remix isn't Background info, and hadn't even happened yet, or been confirmed. — Calvin999  21:30, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Composition and reception

 * (2005)": → (2005):

Chart performance

 * "becoming her twenty-eighth career entry and Ne-Yo's first." → "becoming Carey's twenty-eighth entry on the chart in her career and Ne-Yo's first."
 * I think that's too long winded. Career entry is the common term. — Calvin999  21:41, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * "it is the first" → "it is also the first"
 * "peaking at number four" something needs to be added on which chart it peaked at four, as far as I know, the International Digital Singles chart is not SK's main chart.

Music video

 * "The accompanying music video for the remix of "Up Out My Face""...hehe
 * "with Minaj" → "with Nicki Minaj" this is the first time she's mentioned in this section.
 * I already used her full name two sections prior. — Calvin999  21:32, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * "It starts with Carey" → "The video starts with Carey"
 * Hitfix shouldn't be in italics.
 * "appears to be albeit little make-up" does not make sense.
 * Add "from The Guardian" to "Leonie Cooper"
 * I did that in Composition and reception. No need to repeat. — <b style="color:#595454">Calvin999</b>  21:40, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Charts

 * Tables can be made sortable, I recommend it seeing as there's six entries.
 * OCC → Official Charts Company
 * Linking all instances of chart providers would not be an overlink, especially as this would be the case if you used singlechart.
 * But I'm not using templates ;-) — <b style="color:#595454">Calvin999</b>  21:35, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Release history

 * Island Records → Island