Talk:Anna Burke/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: The Blue Rider (talk · contribs) 20:16, 23 October 2023 (UTC)

General

 * hello. The review is on hold! To save us both some time I already did the minor suggestions, if you disagree on any, please do say so. —  The Blue  Rider  Postal horn icon.svg 18:05, 28 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Wonderful thank you! I shall get to work on those improvements. GraziePrego (talk) 10:54, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi @The Blue Rider, I have finished going through your comments- there are some where I have a question about the suggestion, but other than that they are done. Many thanks for your suggestions so far. GraziePrego (talk) 05:12, 31 October 2023 (UTC)

Lead

 * Per MOS:LEADSENTENCE, the first sentence should tell who the subject is. I suggest adding the actual role.
 * Per MOS:LEADCITE, unless the statements are likely to be challenged the lead doesn't need in-line citations. With that in mind, remove the citaitons.
 * Per MOS:INTRO, the leader does not stand as a concise version of the article and as so it should be expanded.
 * ✅ I think? Does it need more?
 * Remove the months of the lead.
 * Her being the second women to give birth while a member of the Australian parliament is not relevant for the lead.
 * Remove the months of the lead.
 * Her being the second women to give birth while a member of the Australian parliament is not relevant for the lead.
 * Her being the second women to give birth while a member of the Australian parliament is not relevant for the lead.

Early life

 * Add wikilink to Melbourne.
 * She was educated at → She attended
 * Her dyslexia meant she took her high school exams orally → Burke has dyslexia, which led her to take her high school exams orally.
 * With which age was she diagnosed with dyslexia?
 * Add wikilink to Honours.
 * Before entering politics, Burke worked as a trade union → Burke worked as a trade union
 * Add wikilink to trade union.
 * Is Victoria Roads VicRoads? If so, add a wikilink.
 * What's a National Industrial Officer? Perhaps describe what she did instead of listing the title.
 * ✅ I think? The role is about being a spokesperson, coordinating union campaigning and also representing the union at tribunals and in court etc.
 * The second woman to give birth as a MP nationwide or internationally?
 * ✅. (It was nationwide.)
 * MP → Member of the Parliament
 * Is Victoria Roads VicRoads? If so, add a wikilink.
 * What's a National Industrial Officer? Perhaps describe what she did instead of listing the title.
 * ✅ I think? The role is about being a spokesperson, coordinating union campaigning and also representing the union at tribunals and in court etc.
 * The second woman to give birth as a MP nationwide or internationally?
 * ✅. (It was nationwide.)
 * MP → Member of the Parliament
 * ✅. (It was nationwide.)
 * MP → Member of the Parliament

Career

 * Join all sections into a «Career» meta-section.

Entry into politics

 * Add wikilink to Ashwood.
 * Add wikilink to Labor Party.
 * Is Minister for Health and Family Services a WP:COMMONNAME. If not, → Minister for Social Services.
 * ✅, the ministerial portfolio is called that now, but at the time it was Minister for Health and Family Services.
 * Add wikilink to Liberal Party.
 * Why was she not expected to win the election?
 * ✅- it had been held by Woolridge for more than 11 years.
 * Why was she not expected to win the election?
 * ✅- it had been held by Woolridge for more than 11 years.
 * ✅- it had been held by Woolridge for more than 11 years.

Time in parliament

 * Per MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
 * Add wikilink to private member's bill.
 * What did the Do Not Call Register scheme consisted of? Add brief explanation.
 * Explain what is a Deputy Speaker.
 * Did the call for action about "anorexia websites" result in something concrete?
 * No, as of 2017 there are articles still discussing whether they should be banned. Do I need to specifically add that they were not banned?
 * It's not mandatory for GA but I personally think it would be a good addition, do as you will.  The Blue  Rider  Postal horn icon.svg 10:56, 30 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Add wikilink to Speaker of the Australian House of Representatives.
 * Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
 * Add wikilink to backbencher.
 * Add wikilink to ballot.
 * Remove duplicated wikilink to Peter Slipper.
 * only the second woman → the second woman
 * Was she successful on the ban of the child beauty pageants?
 * ✅, specifically said unsuccessful.
 * Remove wikilink from graffiti.
 * Why did someone vandalize her office?
 * The coverage doesn't give any motives- it seems odd that her office was targeted despite her being more pro-"freeing the refugees" than other members.
 * Why did Labor had "failed women"?
 * ✅, explained why she said that.
 * Remove duplicated wikilink from Liberal.
 * only the second woman → the second woman
 * Was she successful on the ban of the child beauty pageants?
 * ✅, specifically said unsuccessful.
 * Remove wikilink from graffiti.
 * Why did someone vandalize her office?
 * The coverage doesn't give any motives- it seems odd that her office was targeted despite her being more pro-"freeing the refugees" than other members.
 * Why did Labor had "failed women"?
 * ✅, explained why she said that.
 * Remove duplicated wikilink from Liberal.
 * Why did Labor had "failed women"?
 * ✅, explained why she said that.
 * Remove duplicated wikilink from Liberal.

Career after politics

 * Per MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
 * Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
 * Why is Allergy and Anaphylaxis Australia the only organization that is not on the list of institutions that Burke is a chair or board member of?
 * ✅ I think? I've moved that organisation into the same paragraph as the others, if that's the fix you mean?
 * Why is Allergy and Anaphylaxis Australia the only organization that is not on the list of institutions that Burke is a chair or board member of?
 * ✅ I think? I've moved that organisation into the same paragraph as the others, if that's the fix you mean?

Style as Deputy Speaker and Speaker

 * Per MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
 * Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
 * What is "straight-talking" and "death stare"? What's its relevance?
 * They're descriptions of her personality in exercising the Speaker's duties, are they a a bit marginally relevant? I can remove them if they're not needed..
 * This section is not correctly placed chronologically, it should be merged with «Time in parliament».
 * Add wikilink to question time.
 * This section is not correctly placed chronologically, it should be merged with «Time in parliament».
 * Add wikilink to question time.
 * Add wikilink to question time.

Political beliefs

 * Is the refugee policy and food allergies the only political beliefs of her? In the other section it is mentioned she opposed those "anorexia websites" and was against child beauty pageants, for instance.
 * They're the beliefs she's most notable for- is this a matter of renaming the section to "prominent positions" or adding all the political beliefs that there's coverage about?
 * I think this section doesn't really need dates, it can easily be rewritten without them. Take for instance: → Burke opposed the Gillard Government's 'Malaysia Solution...
 * ✅, removed some dates.

Refugee policy

 * Per MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
 * Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
 * Add wikilink to caucus.
 * Add wikilink to valedictory speech.
 * Add wikilink to caucus.
 * Add wikilink to valedictory speech.
 * Add wikilink to valedictory speech.

Image

 * The image is tagged with the copyright status and is relevant, though it could use a short caption per MOS:CAPLENGTH.
 * The age of the image is not known- is just having "Anna Burke" as the caption useful?
 * In that case leave it without caption!

Stability

 * Last edited on 11 Oct. and no edit wars were recently in place; the article is stable.

Copyvio

 * Earwig's Copyvio Detector points to 12,3% (due to titles and quotes).

Comments from GMH Melbourne
Feel free to completely ignore this, I was just reading the article and thought I'd pass along some suggestions on improving the article. Like I said, feel free to ignore. Thank you @GraziePrego for getting the article to the quality it is at now. Good luck with the GA review. ––– GMH Melbourne (talk) 12:18, 27 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Lede: Use the opening sentence to better identify the topic, perhaps by alluding to the fact she was speaker. Consider removing the word 'only' from the last sentence. Also remove the redundant citations that are already supported in the body of the article (per MOS:LEADCITE).
 * Haven't reach the lead review but agreed, the first sentence should follow MOS:LEADSENTENCE, and unless the statements are likely to be challenged the lead doesn't need in-line citations.—  The Blue  Rider  Postal horn icon.svg 12:33, 27 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Consider merging the 'Early life' and 'Entry into politics' sections.
 * I wouldn't say her career between 20-31 years old is early life but a «Career» section that encompassed all other career-related sections could be created —  The Blue  Rider  Postal horn icon.svg 12:33, 27 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Time in parliament: Consider making the section more concise (see WP:PL).
 * WP:PL is an essay and not relevant for GA, but I will take into consideration the conciseness of the prose. —  The Blue  Rider  Postal horn icon.svg 12:34, 27 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your comments. —  The Blue  Rider  Postal horn icon.svg 12:34, 27 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you both for your comments! Very helpful guidance as I keep improving the article. GraziePrego (talk) 13:11, 27 October 2023 (UTC)