Talk:Antes de las Seis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:05, 19 March 2014 (UTC)

Comments
 * "a song by Colombian singer" what does "a song by" mean here? written by?  performed by?  produced by?
 * I have done some transposing. Making "song by" "song recorded by.."


 * "recorded for inclusion in her ninth studio album Sale el Sol (2010)." probably more important here to include when this song was recorded, not the year the album was "produced".
 * Most of the songs of the album were quickly recorded after "Waka Waka"'s success, so the recording year is probably 2010. Moreover in almost all song articles any mentioning of a studio album is followed by its release year in parentheses. I don't have the exact year the song was recorded.


 * Lead has one citation, seems odd, presumably no refs are needed as everything in the lead is expanded upon in the article.
 * Quotes in any sentence should have supporting citations I suppose. I can remove it if you insist. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "on 21 October 2011." in the lead vs " October 21, 2011" in the info box, be consistent.
 * THanks for pointing that out. Changed (the df=yes syntax in the infobox was not present) --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "Critical reception towards "Antes de las Seis"..." reception towards? Nope, revisit this.
 * Modified. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)


 * No need to link "critic".
 * Removed. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "but was moderately successful on airplay-based ones" air-based ones? What is this?
 * Removed "based." --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "It reached number one on the Spanish Airplay Chart and peaked at number 14 " MOSNUM, so it should be "1... 14..." or "one... fourteen". Plenty of other examples of this.
 * Amended. Actually I had read the WP:ORDINAL guideline wrong. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "was certified gold" both "certified" and "gold" have separate links but links the to the same article. Please avoid this.
 * Kept link on only "certified." --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)

That's the lead covered, it's not looking good. If you're happy, apply these comments to the rest of the article, I'll put it on hold for a few days, and I'll revisit the rest of it. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review. All issues pointed out have been addressed. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 07:31, 23 March 2014 (UTC)

Further
 * "Commercially, She Wolf was a success and topped charts and attained gold and platinum certifications in several South American and European territories" count the run-ons here... "and.. and... and..."
 * "miss peaking inside the top 10 after it debuted at number 15" peaking and debuting are different things. Do you mean "despite" debuting?  Or else the connection isn't really genuine.
 * "worldwide hit..... worldwide success" repetitive.
 * "work on ninth studio" -> " her ninth"
 * "The singer split the album" -> "She split..."
 * "one of which is a "romantic" one" the other two? And this English is poor, repeating "one".
 * "she hadn't" avoid contractions.
 * "on hits like " -> "on songs including..."
 * Stanford Daily is The Stanford Daily.
 * "production make "Shakira's" not good English.
 * "official... official" repetitive.
 * Don't overlink iTunes store.
 * "of the Shakira's versatility" remove "the"
 * "from Northern Arizona News" why linked to the university and why only partially linked?
 * The university controls the site, and the partial linking has now been extended to the entire name. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 18:34, 2 April 2014 (UTC)

Still on hold for a few more days. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:28, 2 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "vocal delivery, saying they help" delivery is singular, this sentence needs work.
 * " In the former country," awkwardly described.
 * All issues have been addressed. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 18:34, 2 April 2014 (UTC)

Further The Rambling Man (talk) 06:43, 3 April 2014 (UTC)
 * " which she described as "romantic" in nature.[1] Shakira described it " described... described... repetititive.
 * "The musical arrangement of the song is simple and consists of a "soft" piano and acoustic guitar" the arranagment consists of piano and guitar? Is that right, or is it a simple arrangement performed on piano/guitar?
 * I have made some changes. Also can you list all the problems in one go and not add them periodically since I have to study too and I can't keep on coming back to this page again and again to make more changes? I thank you for the time you are taking to improve the article but I would appreciate it more if it was finished with once and for all --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 06:51, 3 April 2014 (UTC)


 * I'm done. I only listed those last two problems because I only just noticed them when reviewing for one final time.  I only listed the second set of problems because there was so much wrong in the lead that I nearly quick-failed it.  And sometimes, having spent hours reviewing an article, nothing gets done about it, so it feels like a complete waste of time.  The Rambling Man (talk) 07:00, 3 April 2014 (UTC)