Talk:Anthony Stolarz/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 00:59, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:59, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * New Jersey needs a comma after it.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Texas needs a comma after it. States are always supposed to have a comma after them (unless they’re at the end of a sentence, or something like that).
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after 2019 season, since the next clause is not independent (does not have its own subject and verb). Also, should probably be 2018-19 season.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * ”Stolarz, a New Jersey Devils fan, grew up” – grammatically correct, but since the previous sentence started with Stolarz, might be better to start this one “A New Jersey Devils fan, he grew up”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Stolarz was always tall for his age, and began goaltending” – “Always tall for his age, Stolarz began goaltending”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Start the second paragraph differently so two in a row don’t start with Stolarz?
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Put a semicolon after Pee-Wee Hockey Tournament; since there are so many commas in the sentence, the semicolon will emphasize the actual break between the independent clauses.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Amateur

 * ” In 16 EmJHL appearances with the Hitmen” – redundant, probably just need “In 16 appearances”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after record
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with 3.19” – “with a 3.19”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Need comma after New York
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” starting goaltender, and went” – kind of a run-on sentence. How about “starting goaltender.  He went”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” in the 2013 OHL playoffs” – “in the first rounds of the 2013 OHL playoffs” – helps differentiate this from the subpar performance against Barrie.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” the Saginaw Spirit, and was” – “the Saginaw Spirit. He was”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” for the January injury” – “for the injury” – no other one listed to differentiate from.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” on March 26, 2014 after” – don’t need 2014, since you’ve already shown that we’ve moved into the 2014 calendar year.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Philadelphia Flyers

 * After first mention of the Phantoms, may want to add that they are part of the American Hockey League. Then, spell out American Hockey League on first mention.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”November 27, 2016” – comma after 2016.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”to a one-year, two way contract” – “to one-year, two way contracts” – way it is now implies that both goalies signed the same contract.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Edmonton Oilers

 * This section looks good!

Anaheim Ducks

 * ”$1.5 million contract, where he served with John Gibson and Ryan Miller in a three-goaltender rotation” – Since he spent most of the season in the minor leagues, I don’t think we should say he was part of a three-goaltender rotation. How about “$1.5 million contract.  He had competition for a roster spot, as the Ducks also had veterans John Gibson and Ryan Miller under contract.”
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t bother to mention the preseason opener debut—not really relevant.
 * ✅  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

International play

 * This section looks good!