Talk:Ario Pardee/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Canada Hky (talk · contribs) 18:03, 14 March 2019 (UTC)

Hello! I am happy to take a shot at reviewing this article for GA status. I typically do a read through, post any thoughts / comments / suggestions and then after that is complete, go through the checklist criteria. I look forward to helping improve this article. Canada Hky (talk) 18:03, 14 March 2019 (UTC)

General comments

 * The lead is a bit short for an article of this length. I would suggest at least one sentence to cover each of the subsections in the article itself.
 * Let me know what you think of the new lead


 * Is there an appropriate wikilink for "rodman" (or possibly "surveyor").
 * I struggled with this initially, I've added a wlink to surveying to show what field it is in.


 * There are several sentences with multiple commas that are bordering on run-on. These may be better broken up, or reqorked for smoother punctuation.  Examples:  "After a brief trip to Michigan, where his parents had relocated to, Pardee settled down in Hazleton, Pennsylvania and signed on with the Hazleton Railroad and Coal Company as a superintendent" and "The building was burned down again, in an act of arson, in 1897, but was again rebuilt by 1899".
 * Fixed both of these (second one didn't need the commas after all)


 * Pictures all look good. Appropriately licensed and placed in the article.  ALT Text may be helpful.
 * In the body of the article, there is no mention of the "founding father of Hazleton".
 * Good spot, I've changed it to more accurately reflect the sources.


 * No copyvios found from the sources I could find online.
 * No disambiguation links that need to be fixed.
 * The wording in the last section about the children is a bit confusing. What is the birth order of the 9 children (if it is known)?  The wording about the deceased twin makes it seem like Israel would be the youngest?
 * Let me know if you think this wording is any better.


 * Is Elizabeth's year of death known?
 * Another good catch, added.

Those are my initial thoughts. This was an enjoyable article to read, and I think it only needs minor tweaks to pass. I am happy to discuss any of these. Canada Hky (talk) 18:56, 14 March 2019 (UTC)
 * "Within months he fell in love with her, and they later married" - this is not really encyclopedic wording, can it be tightened up?
 * thanks for reviewing this! I'll go through this over the weekend, if not sooner. Catching me at a busy time in real life, but upon quickly reviewing that list I should be able to fix most of them rather easily. Appreciate your support. S EMMENDINGER  ( talk ) 20:37, 14 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Found some free time during lunch to take another look over this. I think I've made all the appropriate changes! S EMMENDINGER  ( talk ) 16:35, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Specific criteria reviewed

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) Thank you very much for taking the time to address all my comments. I made one minor tweak to the lead, but i think this article now meets GA criteria.


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * The prose is clear and easy to understand.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * No issues with this criteria.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: - thank you very much for your nomination and your time in helping to improve based on my suggestions.  Canada Hky (talk) 13:18, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: - thank you very much for your nomination and your time in helping to improve based on my suggestions.  Canada Hky (talk) 13:18, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail: - thank you very much for your nomination and your time in helping to improve based on my suggestions.  Canada Hky (talk) 13:18, 17 March 2019 (UTC)