Talk:Arsenal Women 11–1 Bristol City Women/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hmlarson (talk · contribs) 01:27, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

I'll take this one. Notes will be listed below soon. Stay tuned. Hmlarson (talk) 01:27, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your review and all of your edits. Much appreciated.Edwininlondon (talk) 16:20, 20 November 2020 (UTC)

Suggestions 18 Nov

 * Lead
 * 1) "Dutch striker" --> consider updating to Dutch international striker
 * 2) *Done
 * 3) Add link to hat-trick
 * 4) *Done
 * 5) "Her six goals also" ... remove also
 * 6) *Done
 * 7) "The other players scoring for Arsenal" ... consider re-wording for clarity to something like "The other Arsenal scorers included"
 * 8) *Done
 * 9) "amazing 11–1 thrashing".  --> move period inside of closing quotation mark per WP:QUOTE examples.
 * 10) *According to MOS:INOROUT the . should be outside the quote if the quoted text is a fragment.
 * 11) "one of the great individual displays of any era" -- move period inside of closing quotation mark.
 * 12) *See above
 * 13) change "coronavirus pandemic" link text to "COVID-19 pandemic" for clarity.
 * 14) *Done
 * 15) link "women's footballer of the year" to Football_Writers%27_Association
 * 16) *Done


 * Background
 * 1) "Prior to 1 December 2019" --> add comma after 2019
 * 2) *Done
 * 3) the sentence beginning with "Arsenal began the match in third"... is a bit confusing run-on sentence - edit for clarity.
 * 4) *Done
 * 5) "Both teams had been in league action the previous weekend."  I edited "in league action" for encyclopedic tone.
 * 6) *Good catch, thx.


 * Match > Summary
 * 1) Second sentence -- can you clarify what at full strength means?
 * 2) *Done
 * 3) "In the second minute, Arsenal's Beth Mead had the first chance of the match to score" -- what happened? shot went wide? deflected? etc?
 * 4) *Done
 * 5) "Daniëls tucked away the rebound" --> consider changing to something like "scored on the rebound" for encyclopedic tone.
 * 6) *Done
 * 7) ** I edited this further for clarity. Hmlarson (talk) 21:05, 20 November 2020 (UTC)
 * 8) "Bristol City were" ---> Bristol City was
 * 9) *Done
 * 10) "According to BBC Sport, by the end of the game"  --> add comma after game
 * 11) *Done
 * Statistics
 * 1) add citation(s) for this section
 * 2) *Done
 * 3) ** I edited the statistics to match the ref. Can you double-check ?


 * Reactions
 * 1) move periods inside closing quotation marks
 * 2) *As above
 * 3) move comma inside closing quotation mark of "devastated"
 * 4) *I didn't see a single example in MOS:INOROUT where the comma is inside. Are you sure?
 * 5) Make 'adding "We  > adding "we   (lowercase W)
 * 6) *Done
 * Aftermath
 * 1) first sentence is a run-on. Edit or break up for clarity.
 * 2) *Done
 * 3) ** I edited a bit further. Hmlarson (talk) 21:05, 20 November 2020 (UTC)
 * 4) remove duplicate link for Football Association and change to The Football Association
 * 5) *Partially done. The Football Association is first link after the lead, so ok. MOS:REPEATLINK
 * 6) change "coronavirus pandemic" link text to "COVID-19 pandemic" for clarity.
 * 7) *Done
 * 8) "On 13 March 2020" add comma after 2020
 * 9) *Done
 * 10) Same for "On 5 June"
 * 11) *Done
 * 12) Sentence starting with "On 5 June" could use a little editing for clarity.
 * 13) *Done
 * 14) ** I combined the two first sentences and added a ref for COVID-19 suspension. Hmlarson (talk) 21:05, 20 November 2020 (UTC)
 * 15) Miedema ended up as the 2019–20 WSL top scorer with 16 goals. --> consider changing to "Miedema's 16 goals earned her the league's Golden Boot award for most goals scored." I'm surprised there's not a FA WSL Golden Boot article. I'll fix that.
 * 16) *Done
 * 17) link "Women's Footballer of Year" per similar change in the lead
 * 18) *Done
 * Match details
 * 1) Miedema's goal minutes do not match the report included. Can you double-check and update?
 * 2) Same for Mitchell
 * 3) add citation for match rules
 * 4) consider adding (3-4-3) for Arsenal formation and (4-2-3-1) for Bristol City per included match report.
 * 5) *I added a sentence to the summary. The footballbox template itself has no parameter for formation.
 * 6) confirm individual substitute minutes based on included match report.
 * I will double check all these stats. Looks like BBC Sport and the FA have slightly different stats. I will see which one is commonly used. This may take a little while. Sorry about that. Edwininlondon (talk) 16:20, 20 November 2020 (UTC)

I've gone through and added checkmarks for what was reviewed as complete. For MOS:INOROUT: "Include terminal punctuation within the quotation marks only if it was present in the original material, and otherwise place it after the closing quotation mark. For the most part, this means treating periods and commas in the same way as question marks: keep them inside the quotation marks if they apply only to the quoted material and outside if they apply to the whole sentence." If there are any quotes that need to be updated, please modify --- otherwise, thanks for sharing MOS:INOROUT.
 * Ok, I've checked the quotes: 10 are fragments, so we should be keeping the . OUT. Only 2 are full sentences. Miedema's quote was already IN, but I had to change Oxtoby's quote to IN. I also noticed on MOS:INOROUT that Oxtoby's full sentence should start with a capital, so I just changed that.Edwininlondon (talk) 10:48, 21 November 2020 (UTC)

Thanks also for confirming stats when you can. I noted that Miedema's fourth goal was awarded Goal of the Match if you'd like to incorporate that. ref Hmlarson (talk) 21:05, 20 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Stats: I have checked and they are fine, but it looks like we have to remove the yellow and red cards stats, as I can't find any reference to it, not on BBC nor on the FA site. Or do you think that it is fine and by inference the card number is 0? As in, if there had been a card, it would have shown?
 * I agree that if there were any, they would've been listed. I think either solution is sufficient. Hmlarson (talk) 23:50, 21 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Match details: I've changed the source to the BBC, so that the text in the summary section aligns with these match details. I had to change a few numbers. But I think all is right now. I just found and added a source for the Match rules.
 * Great, thanks. Hmlarson (talk) 23:50, 21 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for spotting the Goal of the Match fact. I've added it.
 * Great. Hmlarson (talk) 23:50, 21 November 2020 (UTC)
 * And thanks for all your other edits to make the article better. Much appreciated! Edwininlondon (talk) 10:48, 21 November 2020 (UTC)

This looks good. Nice work! Hmlarson (talk) 23:50, 21 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you! Thanks for your time, edits and swift, clear communication. Much appreciated. Edwininlondon (talk) 10:07, 22 November 2020 (UTC)