Talk:Art Tomassetti

Copy edit notes
I did copy edit of the article. I might have been more thorough, but I was getting to the point where I might have started removing content and I didn't want to do that or hold up the DYK. A couple notes: I hope this has been of help. Please ping me if you have any questions. – Reidgreg (talk) 23:09, 21 June 2020 (UTC)
 * There are two instances of warfighter in the article. I find it a bit confusing and an ambiguous term (my dictionary gives the definition: a soldier in combat), and suggest replacing it with something more specific.  (If it means F35, then say F35.)
 * I understand that a certain amount of context of the fighter programs is needed, but sometimes it gets to the point where I'm not sure if the subject of the article is Tomassetti or a fighter development program.
 * Related to the above, I think the promotional tone issue raised in the DYK review is material that's promotional toward the X35 program. I did some rephrasing, but just the emphasis on it might be too much.  I feel that it's fine for DYK, but there should probably be some trimming before going to GAN (in line with the GA criteria for focus).


 * Thank you very much for your copy edits and comments. My responses below:
 * I used the term warfighter per the definition in the MacMillan dictionary to mean "a member of the military who engages in or directly supports military operations in hostile or hazardous environments". In both article uses, warfighter was intended to refer to the people (e.g. pilots, weapon loaders, fuel handlers, aircraft maintainers, etc.) not the aircraft or munitions. Warfighter is a fairly common term in the US defense industry, but I can understand it might be jargon to others. I'll see if I can come up with a better term.
 * ✅ Replaced ambiguous "warfighter" terminology with "service member". Skeet Shooter (talk) 16:54, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I added the X-35/F-35 context to help readers who are not familiar with defense acquisition. Without the added context, some passages seemed arcane to me and might be more so to readers without a defense background. But I’ll try to trim back the context.
 * Tomassetti is a proponent of the X-35 and F-35. When I paraphrased his work on these aircraft, I tried to point out that positive statements were his opinion (e.g. "According to Tomassetti ...") and also tried to include opposing opinions (e.g. "the USMC declared the F-35B operationally capable rejecting issues raised by critics"). I may need some additional help identifying and fixing these issues.


 * Thanks again for your review and edits. It helps a lot to have specifics. If you have time to help identify the additional areas, I would appreciate it. Skeet Shooter (talk) 23:22, 23 June 2020 (UTC)
 * There are a few places where it might be a little wordy or go a little broad, like the "Tigers" nickname or "supporters and critics alike". Someone mentioned the capitalization of hat trick which I believe is correct, using it as a proper name for the call sign and logo, and lower case for the general term. – Reidgreg (talk) 21:49, 29 June 2020 (UTC)