Talk:Arthur James Dingle/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: ProKro (talk · contribs) 16:19, 22 July 2015 (UTC)

Lead

 * "He was born, and grew up, in County Durham,..." – "He was born and raised in County Durham,..." (Not wrong as is, but unusually worded.)
 * OK. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "On 21 August..." – On 21 August,... (Comma)
 * OK. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "...a disaster for Britain and her allies:..." – "a disaster for Britain and its allies:..." (Gender neutral; using he/she to refer to countries, or places in general, is considered poetic and journalistic affectation prevalent in the past; usually avoided on Wikipedia)
 * I have to disagree with this. In British English, this is certainly not an affectation but correct grammatical usage. It feels very odd for me to write "Britain and its allies". FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Is it really? I was looking at it from my point of view (American) so excuse my ignorance. I'll have to consult British English literature in the future. Alright then, noted. ProKro (talk) 00:24, 28 July 2015 (UTC)

Rugby career

 * "sealed the victory 19–0" – "sealed the victory, 19–0." or "sealed the 19–0 victory."
 * OK. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "Springboks' – Should be linked to avoid confusion; Springboks
 * Yes, indeed! FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)

1913–1914 Season

 * "After graduating,..." – "After graduation,..." or "After he graduated (from Keble College), Dingle..." (Finished action instead of present participle of graduate; #After graduating" is spoken vernacular form.)
 * OK. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "Five Nations – Should be linked, Five Nations
 * Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "Triple Crown, Calcutta Cup and Five Nations Championship – Should all be linked, Triple Crown, Calcutta Cup, Five Nations Championship (same as the one above)
 * Yes! FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "England then were playing with fourteen men after Cherry Pillman's leg was broken in a tackle" – "After Cherry Pillman's leg was broken in a tackle, England played with fourteen men"
 * OK. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)

Military service

 * "Since Dingle was a school master... to enlist from the headmaster, Canon Budworth,..." – "Since Dingle was a school master... to enlist from the headmaster, Canon Budworth." (Full stop; splitting the sentences. The following sentence is below)
 * Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "...and he was commissioned on 29 August 1914 temporary second lieutenant in the 6th Battalion..." – "He was commissioned on 29 August 1914, temporary second lieutenant, into the 6th Battalion..." (Also, "commissioned into" instead of "commissioned in", as in appoint/appointed to.)
 * "Dingle's regiment was sent to Gallipoli and took part in the Suvla Bay landings on 6 August 1915 and his battalion soon took the small hill at Lala Baba, with the loss of many lives. – Dingle's regiment was sent to Gallipoli and took part in the Suvla Bay landings on 6 August 1915; his battalion soon took the small hill at Lala Baba, with the loss of many lives. (To avoid the repeating conjunctions, use a semicolon or split the sentences altogether two form to independent clauses)
 * Yes, I prefer the split. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "On 21 August, Dingle acting up as commanding officer..." – "On 21 August, with Dingle as an acting commanding officer..." (Acting up would mean misbehaving in this context, whereas acting implies that he took up the position temporarily as a stand-in. If the misbehaving is the case, then the sentence is fine as it is.)
 * I rather like the image of a petulant CO. He was, of course, acting CO. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "teammates – "team-mates" (Used earlier in the text; either is fine but only one should be used throughout.)
 * Amended for consistency. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)

Review

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Article is concise and focused with only a few minor spelling and/or syntactic errors. Text is easy to read, it is interesting and engaging.
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * All concerns addressed. ✅
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
 * All concerns addressed. ✅
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * Neutral ✅
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * There are no copyvios or other issues. ✅
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Additional comments

 * Same as with Albert Downing, article is written in chiefly British/New Zealand English, so I'd suggest putting the British English tag in the article's talk page.
 * Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * References no. 16 and 32 are broken, at the time of writing. This might be temporary, so we'll wait it out. If you could provide another source for both, please do. I changed the dates on both to match the article's established style.
 * I'll see what I can find. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)


 * Same as with the other articles, I'd suggest archiving the recent news articles to prevent link rot as well as changing the date format.
 * OK. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)

Requires a bit more attention than the other two articles, but still an easy pass. ProKro (talk) 22:17, 25 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks very much for the review. This is the first of the three I'm responding to now. Hopefully that's good now. FunkyCanute (talk) 12:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Everything's looking great – as soon as those two refs. are fixed, the article will pass. On hold for now. ProKro (talk) 00:24, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Ref urls now fixed. Thanks! FunkyCanute (talk) 10:55, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Great to hear! That's it, then. Congratulations! Pass ProKro (talk) 18:25, 28 July 2015 (UTC)