Talk:Astatotilapia burtoni

Page Addition
I am a student of Washington University in St. Louis, and in my study of behavioral ecology I added the "Reproductive and Social Behaviors" section to this page. Lucialemon (talk) 17:38, 4 October 2013 (UTC)

Behavioral Ecology Peer Review
Wow! Good job. Your sections were really in depth and great. I do suggest, however, that you try to break them up with subheadings a bit so that they are not as daunting to the Wiki reader. You had not included Wiki Links in your new behavioral sections, so I added the following: phenotypes, territorial, gonads, eyebar, cortisol, testosterone, Plasma, androgens, gravid, priming, lekking, courtship, spawn, mouthbrooding, modalities, chemosensory, and broadband. I also put the class banner at the top of this Talk Page so that other WIkipedia editors will understand that this article is the subject of a class project. I made a few minor grammar/structural edits, but other than that it looks good. Keep it up! Claire.Edelman (talk) 00:39, 11 October 2013 (UTC)

Very nice additions to behavior on the burtoni. Very well detailed and well written, but it would be nice to see it broken up a little as it is easy to get lost in the wall of text. Although my partner had inserted some wiki links already, I added a few more that were repeated wiki links such as mouthbrooding, plasma, and phenotypes. In addition, I also wiki linked 11-ketotestosterone, steroid, and hormone. It would be nice to see some behavior on things such as diet, and how they interact with the environment they are in such as potential predators.Junsu.shinn (talk)

Well done! Your addition is detailed, thorough, and well written. And you have tons of potential to expand with this page. I made a few grammar changes and removed a sentence that was repetitive about mouth brooding. My only complaint is that you refer to studies several times and it might be more effective for Wikipedia style writing to simply present the finding of that research as factual information. This would allow some of your paragraphs to flow better. Does this fish have a common name? It's kind of a drag to have to use the species name every time. I looked and couldn't quickly find one, though you may have come across one in your in depth research. I imagine you will stick with this organism, and I suggest that first, you expand the lead of the article to reflect some of the info you added on behavior. Additionally, you might add sections on morphology, taxonomy, more about where they are found and what they eat, and perhaps some information about their ecological importance (perhaps as a food source for some other organism?). Andrewkamel (talk) 02:04, 11 October 2013 (UTC)

I agree with the rest of the crew. Your addition the behavior section is superb. You open with the two phenotypes are reversible. You then follow it up with a lot of information before you define reversible. Purely a structure issue, so I put your definition of reversible right after your opening sentence, merely because it doesn’t leave the reader guessing what “reversible” means in this context. I also changed some wording around, to give the reader an easier read. I agree with the overuse of the word “study”, while it is good to refer to this, perhaps you can classify all the study material under one paragraph so you don’t need to use the word repetitively. liu.alexander (talk) 21:30, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

Response to the four peer edits above:

Thank you for taking the time to read the article and make the necessary changes!

I did my best to address all of the suggestions and make the article easier to read.

I actually could not find a common name for this species--if anyone does, please change the scientific names throughout the article, as I agree it does get tiring reading "A. burtoni" again and again.

I could not help but mention the studies themselves because the findings are still only suggesting the causes for the behavior, so I do not want to immediately present it as completely proven as fact. However, I have reworded the sentences to minimize that usage and make it more apparent under a subheading.

Lucialemon (talk) 20:17, 15 October 2013 (UTC)

External links modified
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