Talk:Automatic (Red Velvet song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:32, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

Article looks fine on first glance, I will review shortly! --K. Peake 07:32, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Korean language is not sourced in the body as being used in the song; directly mention that lyrics were wrote for it in Korean ✅
 * this was removed from the infobox but should not have been, as you can write out and source in the body that Korean songwriting was contributed. --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * The word studio should not be used in the infobox parameter of the same name ✅
 * Maybe change Contemporary R&B to R&B since the latter is backed up twice in the body and the former is often targeted to from the R&B genre, plus remove neo-soul due to it only being influences ✅
 * Remove wikilink on South Korean ✅
 * "their debut extended play" → "their debut extended play (EP)," ✅
 * "with Korean lyrics adaptation by" → "with Korean lyrics adapted by" plus this adaption being mentioned in the lead is another reason to write it out in the body, as everything here needs to be written and sourced there ✅
 * once you have added Korean songwriting to the body, re-add the word here. --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "the contemporary R&B track" → "the R&B and urban song" with the pipes ✅
 * The part in brackets is not sourced in the body plus it's not notable for the lead, nor should brackets be used here either way ✅
 * The music video's release should be mentioned after the commercial performance in the second para; will give further instructions in the area ✅
 * "It marks their" → "It marked their" ✅
 * After the above sentence, add one ending the first para about the song's lyrical meaning ✅
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "has been regarded as one of the group's" → "has been regarded as one of Red Velvet's" ✅
 * Pipe music critics to Music journalism ✅
 * "while some felt know what to expect from Red Velvet as it is" → "Some were unsure of what to expect from Red Velvet, as it was" as a new sentence ✅
 * Pipe World Digital Songs to World Digital Song Sales ✅
 * "and number nine respectively." → "and number nine, respectively." ✅
 * Though this info will be followed by a sentence about the background of the video, add one about synopsis directly afterwards ✅
 * Add a final sentence mentioning the M Countdown performance and any other ones, if they are notable for the lead ✅

Background and release

 * "Prior to the" → "Prior to their" ✅
 * "Palmdale, California for a music video" → "Palmdale, California, for a music video" with the wikilink, but the source says it was a desert outdoors in the city that they filmed at ✅
 * I meant that Palmdale should still be mention but change the outside part; why has the city been removed? --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "for the second single" → "for their single" with the pipe ✅
 * The video being specifically uploaded on their YouTube channel is not sourced, plus mention the comeback in this sentence per [4]
 * ❌ I meant to still mention the video but remove the uploaded part and add in the comeback --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "image teasers from member" → "image teasers of her, and members" per the source ✅
 * "they revealed the title" → "the label revealed the title" ✅
 * Remove pipe on Ice Cream Cake ✅
 * "which would be released" → "which was set to be released" ✅
 * You should only mention that a teaser video was released in the last sentence of this para instead, as music video info does not belong here ✅
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "on March 14," → "on March 14, 2015," ✅
 * "its official digital release along with the extended play" → "the song being released digitally along with the EP" with the pipe ✅

Composition

 * Retitle to Writing and composition ✅
 * Add info about the instrumentation displayed via the audio sample to its text (you don't need sources directly saying where in the song this stuff is when it's a sample)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I haven't encountered this type of comment before. I'm having a hard time processing on what should I do about the instrumentation. Should I like get the information from the Writing and composition section or get another source for that (though you stated that I don't need sources directly saying where in the song this stuff is when it's a sample) ReVeluv02 (talk) 11:00, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Look at stuff mention there like synth tone and simple chords – if you can hear this on the audio sample, then write it features them. --K. Peake 14:57, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "several songs for them." → "several songs for Red Velvet." ✅
 * "in a songwriting camp on" → "at a songwriting camp in" ✅
 * Mention that Copenhagen is in Denmark ✅
 * "and was later invited to take part on" → "and Taft was later invited to take part in" ✅
 * Mention that Seoul is in South Korea ✅
 * "writing "Automatic". She revealed" → "writing "Automatic"; she revealed" to avoid overly short sentences ✅
 * "and quite effortlessly" and that" → "and quite effortlessly", and that" ✅
 * "On a podcast, Klein revealed that what seems" → "During a podcast, Klein revealed that what seemed" ✅
 * Add release year of "Got 'til It's Gone" in brackets ✅
 * "and agreed to do make a song out of it." → "and agreed to do so." ✅
 * "he said that he" → "Klein said that he" ✅
 * Wikilink tempo on first mention instead ✅
 * "was described as an" → "was characterized as an" ✅
 * Pipe R&B to Contemporary R&B since this article describes the version of the genre being alluded to ✅
 * "jam" which represents" → "jam", which represents" ✅
 * "Velvet" should be surrounded by speech marks ✅
 * "cited it as" → "cited the track as" ✅
 * Remove pipe on contemporary 90s R&B ✅
 * The neo-soul influence is not sourced
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink synthesizers ✅
 * The key and tempo sentence should be the one before synths/chords ✅
 * "It was composed in the key of F minor with" → "It is composed in the key of F minor, with" ✅
 * ❌ --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "unraveling the feelings of" → "unraveling the feeling of" ✅

Critical reception

 * Merge with the below section, retitling to Reception ✅
 * "Following its initial release," → "Following its release," ✅
 * "from critics and have become one" → "from music critics and become one" with the pipe, but the signature part is not backed up the reviews (try and add some that do or remove it) ✅
 * "Jeff Benjamin of Billboard magazine called the song" → "Benjamin called the song" ✅
 * Remove wikilink on Janet Jackson ✅
 * "Kim Do-hyun of IZM highlighted the song" → "Kim highlighted the song" but the critics' pick and R&B quote are not sourced ✅
 * The information was changed but still the same source ReVeluv02 (talk) 10:09, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "for both the group and its home label." → "for both Red Velvet and SM Entertainment." ✅
 * "of Ten Asia praised Red Velvet's voices" → "from Ten Asia praised Red Velvet's tone" per the source ✅
 * Hyo-Sun Seong is used instead of Yoo Je-sang in the source, also the quote is not sourced
 * I can read Korean letters and paragraphs as well! I haven't seen any name mentioning Hyo-sun Seong. Additionally, the information was sourced. ReVeluv02 (talk) 10:02, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Issues like these must be due to my online translator, as I don't actually know Korean. --K. Peake 14:57, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * The part about MRJ calling the song disappointing and creating low expectations is not sourced, though the above reviewer says something similar: "After listening to the double title tracks of this album, “Ice Cream Cake” and “Automatic,” my doubts about the next activity", but quotes are only for parts that text directly says so remove quote marks and word to accurately echo this
 * MRJ mentioned that "내게는 즐거운 서프라이즈였다. 'Automatic'을 선택한 것에는 다소 실망했고 'Be Natural'에서는 전면적으로 크게 실망했었기에, 레드벨벳에게서 이번에 무엇을 기대해야 좋을지 알 수 없었다. 그러나 'Ice Cream Cake'는 매우 설득력 있었고, 케이팝과 팝의 경계를 밀고 나아가는 점이 훌륭했다." which translates to "It was a pleasant surprise for me. I was a little disappointed in choosing 'Automatic' and totally disappointed in 'Be Natural', so I didn't know what to expect from Red Velvet this time. However, 'Ice Cream Cake' was very convincing, and it was great that it pushed the boundaries between K-pop and pop." He compared the title tracks "Automatic" and "Ice Cream Cake". ReVeluv02 (talk) 10:02, 7 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "whether the group would have" → "whether the group can have" ✅
 * "ranked it 22nd on" → "ranked "Automatic" 22nd on" ✅
 * "and labeled it for standing as one of their" → "and the staff highlighted it for being one of their" ✅

Commercial performance

 * Make this the third para of the above section ✅
 * "of March, "Automatic" debuted and peaked 32" → "of March 2015, "Automatic" debuted and peaked at number 32" ✅
 * Pipe Gaon Download Chart to Gaon Music Chart rather than that page's sub-section ✅
 * "of 71,844 digital units as of" → "of 71,844 digital units in South Korea, as of" ✅
 * "at number 9 on Billboard 's World Digital Song Sales chart, making it their" → "at number nine on the US Billboard World Digital Song Sales chart, making it Red Velvet's" per MOS:NUM ✅
 * "It was later surpassed by their 2017" → "The ranking of the group's lowest peak was later surpassed by their 2017" ✅
 * The word chart should not be capitalised in this sentence ✅

Background

 * "was directed with a symmetrical narrative that emphasized" → "is directed with a symmetrical narrative that emphasizes" on the img text ✅
 * "uploaded on the official SM Town channel," → "uploaded on both SM Town's YouTube channel and Red Velvet's website." removing the EP release info, as this is not sourced and irrelevant anyway ✅
 * "by Shin Hee-won, who would later direct again for Red Velvet's singles" → "by Shin Hee-won, standing as the first visual he worked on for SM, and he later directed the music videos for Red Velvet's singles" ✅
 * Should K-Popped be italicised? ✅
 * "Seulgi revealed that" → "group member Seulgi revealed that" with the pipe ✅
 * "was syncing lips with the song as the song" → "was the hardness of syncing lips with "Automatic", as the song" with the pipe ✅

Synopsis and reception

 * The lyrics are "I want to continue to stay in your space together" per the source ✅
 * "that it does not escape from the memory and continues to stay in it, the music video" → "that it stays in the memory without departing it, the video" ✅
 * "With that, it has provided a differentiated visual beauty" → "Through the narrative, a differentiated visual beauty is provided" ✅
 * "It featured all five members in a softer and" → "All five members are shown in a softer and" but soft and mature parts are unsourced ✅
 * "It became the sixth-most" → "The visual became the sixth-most" ✅
 * Mention that it was the fourth-most viewed in the United States as well as this ✅

Live performances

 * Mention that they wore black and white outfits for the M Countdown performance ✅
 * "that emphasizes fascination and" → "that emphasized fascination and" ✅
 * "includes "detailed expressions" such as" → "included "detailed expressions", such as" ✅
 * "It also includes movement" → "It also featured the movement" ✅
 * "feet like the lyrics" → "feet to the lyrics" ✅
 * "during the first promotion week on" → "during the first promotion week on both" ✅

Credits and personnel

 * Looks good, but the Korean songwriting part still needs to be written out in comp ✅

Charts

 * Good

Release history

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until everything is fixed; I will check if you have implemented the first changes properly soon. --K. Peake 09:56, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I have pointed out above where you still have to make changes to the sections you've already covered and done some copy editing in areas where issues existed that weren't prominent during the review, while I await your response for the remainder. --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much Kyle for taking so much of your time and effort on doing this review. :) I may have missed a lot and I did left some comments regarding my concern on certain parts of the review. ReVeluv02 (talk) 12:18, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Great job, looks like you haven't missed anything after the initial sections from which I only have one comment pending! --K. Peake 14:57, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much once again Kyle! I think for most part I have already finished the one comment which is still I'm unsure about whether it's correct or not. (: ReVeluv02 (talk) 00:04, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now; the info on the sample looks fine, but I just did some copy editing for the grammar. --K. Peake 06:16, 8 July 2021 (UTC)