Talk:Avidius Cassius/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 05:32, 29 July 2018 (UTC)

Review
Hello. I'll be reviewing this article. My initial observation is that this article is ripe for promotion. I'll go through each section and post here if there are any issues. I'll also be checking the sources to see if they are reliable. If possible, I'll go into them to see if the text is supported correctly. Stay put! MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 05:32, 29 July 2018 (UTC)

Early life

 * – "town of Cyrrhus, Syria"? Or is that a format not commonly used for this country?

Early career
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 * – I would suggest you to word this differently. I'm worried it might be considered WP:WEASEL.
 * – What do you think of changing the sentence to this format, "... of the Tigris river: Seleucia, which was on the right bank; and Ctesiphon, which was on the left bank and was the Parthian capital". Otherwise, the sentence is too long and might become a run-on.
 * – Spell out to "Vologases IV", per its article.

✅
 * – Rephrase to: "Cassius' legion was by this time in dire need of supplies. After showing the first signs of having contracted the plague, Cassius marched back to Syria, carrying with him the spoils taken from his campaign." Or something similar, just make sure the two and's aren't there.

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 * – What does "quite false" mean? Just curious. Was the rumor entirely false or just partially?

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 * – Why is Legio III Galicia in italics before but not here? My guess is italics aren't necessary but I'll leave it up to you. Just make sure we stay consistent.
 * – I've found other sources that name them Bucolic and/or Boukoloi. Are they the same? Maybe we can add a footnote for it.
 * – Another source I found says it was suppressed by him in 175 AD. Seems like 172 might have been the start of the revolt, per Birley.
 * – remove first name.

Usurpation
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 * – fix to "widespread".
 * – remove link of Cassius Dio per WP:OVERLINK.
 * – Capitalization for Senate and Army? I'm not really sure.
 * – "considered" instead of "believed"
 * – "was" instead of "is"

Aftermath

 * – "... called Halala. The town was renamed in her honor, and his son, Commodus."

Ancestry

 * – How do Ancestry sections usually work as far as citing them? This section is unsourced, but I also understand that adding references would clog the entire section. Is there a single source that has the entire ancestry? That can help.
 * I have removed the entire section since I could not find a citation for it. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  22:15, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

Personal life
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 * – remove first name of Dio; also change to "spoke".
 * – is "good man" a direct quote? I'd be nice to have a different quote here. Not sure if the word "good" is appropriate for this article (or encyclopedia) unless we are quoting the author.
 * Yes, "good man" is direct; I've put it in quotes to show that. Iazyges   Consermonor   Opus meum  22:17, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

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 * – "...was given his post of Praefectus augustalis only because to his speaking abilities".
 * – remove the link with Legio III Gallica.
 * – remove link and italicize, per your previous mention of this.