Talk:Azar Bigdeli/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:33, 23 November 2021 (UTC)

I think this has been waiting at GAN long enough! —  Ghost River  16:33, 23 November 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

 * Per MOS:LEADCITE, that he was an anthologist and poet does not need to be cited, as that can be gathered by the rest of the article; the citation by the direct quote, on the other hand, is encouraged to stay


 * "it is considered" by whom? See MOS:WEASEL

Life

 * Mention and link his birth date in this section so that it can be delinked in the infobox


 * Commas rather than parentheses around "during the last few years of Timur's reign"


 * "In 1722 (the year of his birth)" "The year he was born", as his full birth date should already have been mentioned


 * "owned property and where he lived for fourteen years" "owned property, and he lived there for 14 years"


 * Comma after "moved to Shiraz" rather than parentheses around "the provincial capital of Fars"


 * where his arrival coincided with WP:LIMITED violation


 * Link "Nader's army" rather than just "army" per MOS:SUBMARINE and MOS:PARTIALNAMELINK


 * "ascended to the throne"


 * Comma after "and returned to Isfahan"


 * Define the bazgasht-e adabi movement briefly here, you can go into more detail in that later section


 * Comma after "eventually ended up at Kashan"


 * Comma after "Kashan earthquake struck"


 * I rephrased the first two sections a bit (mainly integrated the material about his background). Please do review the prose/changes when you have time. - LouisAragon (talk) 23:27, 29 November 2021 (UTC)

Atashkadeh-ye Azar

 * "and which is considered"


 * Again, considered by whom?


 * "Azar chose to him as to underline" confusing syntax


 * are further divided in terms of geographical divisions, into five, three and three WP:LIMITED


 * "each one of them starting with a brief description of the region involved" "and each one begins with a brief description of the involved region"


 * "for some, Azar gave detailed biographies, but for most mentioned in the book, he found two or three lines sufficient," "while a few received detailed biographies, for the most part, two or three lines were devoted to each poet"


 * although displaying certain weaknesses common to Persian literature of the 18th century close paraphrasing and insufficiently explained – what are these "certain weaknesses"?


 * well-written passages POV

The bazgasht-e adabi

 * who rejected the Indian style and sought to revive the idiom of the early poets. Directly copied from source


 * disastrous earthquake 1778 Kashan earthquake redundant

Other works

 * Good

General comments

 * All three photos used are in the public domain
 * Recommend adding a more descriptive caption to the one of Zand, something along the lines of "Azar dedicated the Atashkadeh-ye Azar to Karim Khan Zand"


 * No stability concerns in the revision history
 * Some close paraphrasing noted above but no glaring copyright violations

Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with questions, and please let me know when you're finished. —  Ghost River  16:57, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
 * - LouisAragon (talk) 23:24, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
 * I have made a couple edits directly into the article. I think the rewrite of his biography negates the need to introduce the literary movement there. Happy to pass. —  Ghost River  23:25, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
 * Great, thank you for your time! - LouisAragon (talk) 22:05, 7 December 2021 (UTC)