Talk:B. Altman and Company Building/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:33, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Lede

 * where the ninth through thirteenth stories and most of the Madison Avenue side is faced — change to "are faced"
 * The store closed in 1989, and was vacant until 1996, when it was renovated. — rm comma after 1989
 * The store closed in 1989, and was vacant until 1996, when it was renovated. — rm comma after 1989

Site

 * OK

Design

 * in the Italian Renaissance Revival style, and opened in three phases — rm comma
 * The ninth story has two double-hung windows in each bay is topped by a band course. — missing an "and" after "bay"
 * The inner bays contain double-hung window pairs on the third floor, and triple-height window openings on the fourth through sixth stories. — rm comma
 * rotunda on Fifth Avenue, and open plan selling — rm comma
 * I add a lot of unnecessary commas, I'll say. Epicgenius (talk)
 * rotunda on Fifth Avenue, and open plan selling — rm comma
 * I add a lot of unnecessary commas, I'll say. Epicgenius (talk)
 * I add a lot of unnecessary commas, I'll say. Epicgenius (talk)

History

 * in the building, but that there was no definite commitment — rm either the comma or "that": "that there was no definite commitment" cannot stand alone because it is so clearly dependent
 * ✅ I changed it to "in the building, though there was no definite commitment". Epicgenius (talk)
 * The renovations involved restoring many old design elements, such as the lobby porticoes, bronze elevator cabs, and cast-iron staircases. The renovation cost over $170 million. — consider flow changes, this area is a little choppy with two sentences starting the same
 * ✅ I combined the sentences. Epicgenius (talk) 05:13, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Other

 * The B. Altman Building's stature made it a "three-ring circus", according to The New York Times. — citation required for quote (presumably it's one used elsewhere in the page)
 * ✅ It was in the citation in the next sentence. Epicgenius (talk) 05:13, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
 * All images are properly tagged and are either appropriately CC-licensed or public domain.

Overall
7-day hold, though it won't take long. I'll leave a little trick on the comma usage from my Systime review, just with one of these examples: Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 04:49, 2 April 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the review. I've fixed all these reviews now. That quote is actually pretty useful and I'll keep that in mind. It was only after writing this article that I was alerted to my overuse of commas. Epicgenius (talk) 05:13, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Looking good. Passing for GA. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 07:23, 2 April 2021 (UTC)