Talk:BAE Systems Nimrod MRA4/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: HJ Mitchell  &#124;  Penny for your thoughts?   01:43, 1 March 2011 (UTC)


 * The lead seems quite short relative to the size of the article.
 * The body needs a copy edit.
 * Too many short sentences, making the prose choppy
 * Too many short paragraphs, with the same effect, making it look untidy
 * Lack of variety in sentence structure—far too many sentences starting with "in [month]" or "on [date]"

For the prose alone, this is not GA standard and I don't think there is much more I can do as a reviewer until the article has been tidied up. You might find other editors willing to help at WP:PRV and/or WP:GOCE. HJ Mitchell &#124;  Penny for your thoughts?   02:55, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
 * It's starting to look much better now. Some of the paragraphs could still do with being merged together and it might benefit from another section header, but the latter is just a suggestion. Keep up the good work and don't hesitate to ping me if or when you need my attention. HJ Mitchell  &#124;  Penny for your thoughts?   19:38, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Upon further review of the work that has gone into this, I'm going to pass it. Congratulations. HJ Mitchell  &#124;  Penny for your thoughts?   05:21, 4 March 2011 (UTC)