Talk:BMX XXX/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 21:24, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the ✅ tag to state when something is addressed.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Lede

 * based in the stripclub Scores. - what?  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:58, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * expanded technology and features, - this is almost always true (non-defining), so sounds a bit puffy.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:58, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Despite an aggressive marketing campaign, the game's distribution was impeded by the refusal of major retailers to stock the title, Sony Computer Entertainment's refusal to publish the PlayStation 2 version unless the topless female nudity was censored, and an initial ban in Australia - this could probably be better as two sentences.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:58, 20 October 2022 (UTC)

General

 * name, sex - I'd use "gender" rather than sex as we are talking about a game using sex to sell.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Any ideas if we have a glossary for something like "D-pad"?  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * from the stripclub Scores - im assuming "Scores" is the name of the stripclub? I don't think that comes across in prose.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * unenthused if not angered - "dismayed" might be better.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * In September 2002, a rumor circulated that Sony Computer Entertainment would not approve the PlayStation 2 version of the game unless certain sexual content was removed. - I'm not sure this sentence is development, maybe in the release section.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * At some point we need to define that "PS2" is the PlayStation 2.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * of features.[33][42][45][49] - WP:OVERCITE, Could we bundle or remove a cite?  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Five cites is usually my threshold for bundling, but sure, I'm willing to move that down a notch. Cat&#39;s Tuxedo (talk) 18:08, 20 October 2022 (UTC)


 * The above happens in a few places in the reception.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:13, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
 * All above points have been addressed. Cat&#39;s Tuxedo (talk) 18:08, 20 October 2022 (UTC)

Review meta comments

 * I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 21:24, 16 October 2022 (UTC)