Talk:Balfour Declaration/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 16:57, 12 February 2016 (UTC)

[Background section] RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 17:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * "His Majesty" - [the king's name]
 * " strengthen Britain's position on the Suez Canal" - strengthen?
 * "reinforce the route to Great Britain's imperial dominion in India" - reinforce; what does it mean hear?
 * Hi, thanks for these.
 * I don't understand your His Majesty point - please could you clarify?
 * On the other two points, how about "strengthen Britain's military position on the Suez Canal" and " reinforce add another step on the route to Great Britain's imperial dominion in India"
 * Oncenawhile (talk) 18:04, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi please could you clarify this? Oncenawhile (talk) 12:09, 29 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi sorry for my long absense. My spectacles broke and it took a long time to mend. (Because of various formalities). I will address the GAR in one or two days. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 13:35, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 20:10, 8 March 2016 (UTC)
 * I cannot understand the line "servicable" means. There is no previous mention of the word, then why servicable means phrase is used? [Oncenawhile => changed to "Proposed means"]
 * Please mention in brackets who is Chaim Weizmann. [Oncenawhile => added explanation and context]
 * A question that strikes my mind that why did Balfour proposed creating the homeland in Uganda? There were many more British colonies. [Oncenawhile => this one took a while, but i have now added some context and fixed a couple of other articles in the process]
 * The para after quote is uncited [Oncenawhile => cite added]
 * Who is Henry McMohan? [Oncenawhile => fixed]
 * Why is it in quotes - "the districts... [no edit here - it is in quotes because it is a direct and key quote from the letters]
 * This para is also uncited [Oncenawhile => cites added]
 * " Hussein called on the Arab population in Palestine..." Again I cant understand what welcome? Any sort of population transfer?  [Oncenawhile => this failed verification so has been removed]
 * "the complete and final liberation.." Since it is in quotes I can assume it is somone's viewpoints; please mention [oncenawhile => this is a direct quote from the Anglo-French Declaration. The text explains this by writing "...the latter promising..."]
 * "classified later" when?? Two years later? Later half of 20th century? [oncenawhile => added ref explaining]
 * Blockquote should be used for Curzon's quote. [oncenawhile => i have done this, but it looks odd?]
 * The Sykes Picot para is uncited, and has a lot of unecessary quotes. [oncenawhile => cited and tidied up]
 * The "Zionism" section should at least in short describe what led to the rise of anti-semitic feelings. [oncenawhile => added a paragraph on the birth of zionism]
 * Many thanks. I am working on these now. Oncenawhile (talk) 17:19, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi these are all done now. Many thanks. Oncenawhile (talk) 19:08, 13 March 2016 (UTC)


 * Hold on, I will be posting my comments today only. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 10:22, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

[Motivation section] [Drafting section] [Reaction section]
 * At that time- time of war? What time? [removed by TrickyH]
 * It was also hoped - Who hoped? [clarified and sourced by TrickyH]
 * Link League of Nations [done by TrickyH]
 * The last few lines lack citations [Oncenawhile => I have added these]
 * small budget - remove the word small to make it neutral [actual amount added by TrickyH]
 * The blockquote of Weizman Balfour needs citation [added by TrickyH]
 * This may, however - according to whom? [Oncenawhile => text removed, but underlying point retained with greater detail and sourcing]
 * In the years following - ambiguous [Oncenawhile => clarified]
 * The 'most comprehensive explanation' - In this sentence why there are quotes? The thing about unofficial needs to be explained [Oncenawhile => this had been added verbatim from the source. I moved it down to become a ref quote, and replaced with a simpler sentence]
 * More recently -ambiguous [Oncenawhile => removed]
 * Isnt the 1961 book of Stein here a primary source? [oncenawhile => no, because the primary source is the national archives were all these drafts were found by Stein.]
 * author of the declaration was by Alfred, Lord Milner - remove by [oncenawhile => done]
 * carefully worded, and ambiguous - how can it be carefully worded as well as being ambiguous? [Oncenawhile => changed to "internationally ambiguous" with source]
 * The phrase 'Jewish..... - This sentence also needs to be explained [oncenawhile => done, and source quote added]
 * The phrase "national home" was intentionally.... - This sentence is also unclear [oncenawhile => reworded, and source added]
 * The Jews did not want a state but a protectorate in Palestine? [oncenawhile => not sure I understand this question]
 * to denying that a state was the intention. - Needs to be reworded [oncenawhile => reworded]
 * an early draft - which draft? [Oncenawhile => clarified]
 * protested the carrying of new "white and blue banners with two inverted triangles in the middle" - Why that part in quotes? [Oncenawhile => Huneidi puts them in quotes too - they are a direct quote from the petition. It is used like this because the way they describe the Star of David as two triangles provides an interesting note]
 * They drew the attention of the authorities - Which authorities? [Oncenawhile => British - i have clarified]
 * Curzon had previously opposed - If lord Curzon had previously opposed the declaration that means he presently supported it? [Oncenawhile => I have clarified this as his opposition was prior to the Declaration originally being made]

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 06:14, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

Hi I have now amended the article with respect to all of the above - many thanks for these. Also pinging to thank you for your help. Oncenawhile (talk) 23:30, 9 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Happy to help! TrickyH (talk) 06:57, 10 April 2016 (UTC)
 * If User:RRD13 is kind enough to attribute GA status to the article, then I propose to put it up for WP:PR with the intention to reach WP:FA status. Since this is a high profile topic, relevant to many WikiProjects, it should gain some focus. The aim is to get the article as WP:TFA for the 100th anniversary in November next year. Oncenawhile (talk) 10:23, 10 April 2016 (UTC)


 * Just a thought, why dont you add a small paragraph in the "Impact" section about Arab Israeli conflicts ? RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 09:30, 14 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi, this is done. Oncenawhile (talk) 10:36, 14 April 2016 (UTC)

Sure. I have wikilinked Stein, and added the remaining below:
 * In the bibliography section, I can verify the authors who are linked. Can you please post any link of other authors (who dont have articles) which shows they are scholars/historians ?RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 09:32, 14 April 2016 (UTC)
 * http://www.du.edu/ahss/cjs/facultystaff/rovner.html
 * http://www.history.ac.uk/history-online/theses/thesis/sir-herbert-samuel-zionism-and-palestine-arabs-1920-5
 * http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/obituary-doreen-ingrams-1253412.html
 * http://cmes.fas.harvard.edu/people/lorenzo-kamel
 * http://www.hsoc.gatech.edu/people/faculty/schneer
 * http://menas.arizona.edu/user/charles-smith

Oncenawhile (talk) 10:27, 14 April 2016 (UTC)