Talk:Barbeyella minutissima/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 11:24, 3 September 2012 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this article and will start in the next couple of days. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 11:24, 3 September 2012 (UTC)

First reading
The article plunges straight in with the use of technical terms to describe the characteristics of the slime mould. I would like to see some background information as to what a slime mould is and how it functions before getting down to the intricate details. The article Physarum polycephalum provides much better background material. The other points I make below mostly concern sentence structure. I have not yet looked at other aspects of the article. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:39, 4 September 2012 (UTC)


 * "The hypothallus has a diameter of 0.7 mm and up and while not visible on mosses, is reddish brown on wood" - Although I can understand what this sentence means, it is not well expressed.
 * "They are usually scattered, but also often grouped in loose,[2] large colonies" - This sentence structure could be improved.
 * "Usually individual, occasionally in pairs, these are firmly fused with the lobed, segments of the peridium, which are round in cross-section; at spore maturity, the sporangium splits and empties into them towards the base." - Another over complex sentence, and to what does the "them" near the end refer?
 * "This adhesion prevents the lobes of the peridium from detaching ..." - What adhesion?
 * "The peridia are filled towards the top with plasmatic granulations ..." - Having learned earlier from a wikilink that the peridium is a protective layer that encloses a mass of spores, I find it difficult to visualise where these granulations are.
 * "The mass of spores is blackish brown,[2] under polarised light brown." - This sentence structure could be improved.
 * "They are generally textured in a warty manner, occasionally almost smooth and from 7 to 9 µm in diameter." - I don't much like this one either.
 * "The species populates ..." - I find this to be a curious use of the verb "populate" which the dictionary defines as "cause people to settle in (a place)" or "fill or be present in (a place or sphere)".
 * "It has been found growing on the liverwort ..." - The subject of the previous sentence was "wood".
 * "In addition to mosses," - Have you not been talking of liverworts in the previous few sentences?
 * "Additional Myxogastria species ... " - I would have thought "other" would have been a better word.


 * Thanks or taking up the review Cwmhiraeth. I've worked on the prose concerns you listed above. Will need to think a bit more about how much background info to add; part of me thinks that some of the info in Physarum polycephalum is extraneous for a species article and is better left to the main parent article (Myxogastria) ... but maybe not ... Will deliberate and get back to you; looking forward to more comments. Sasata (talk) 16:53, 4 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Inconclusive deliberations? Although I still think the article should provide some less technical background information, I could hardly argue that the scope is insufficiently broad. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:53, 12 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I reworked the prose a bit in the description section and glossed some jargon. Thanks again for the review. Sasata (talk) 17:20, 12 September 2012 (UTC)