Talk:Barys Astana/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Winner 42 (talk · contribs) 01:09, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

Overall Comments
Placing under review, should be done in a day or two. Winner 42 Talk to me!  01:09, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Sorry for taking so long, been busy IRL, but here is my review please mark items when they are addressed. Thank you!
 * Although some of the minor issues have been addressed, the major problems with this article have not been in 20 days of holding this review therefore I am failing it for now. Winner 42 Talk to me!  20:33, 26 August 2015 (UTC)


 * No deadlinks, dab links, or copyvio
 * The article switches between national varieties of English
 * Oxford comma usage is inconsistent

Sectional Analysis

 * Lead
 * Seems to adequately summarize the article
 * Usage of "it" and "they" to refer to the team is inconsistent, albeit a very minor issue
 * Prior to 2015, the team played its home games at the Kazakhstan Sports Palace for 14 seasons, beginning in 2001. This should be reworded to include where they play now.
 * In general the lead could be reworded so that the history is in chronological order.
 * History
 * The subpage seems to be a direct copy of this page. The main page should generally summarize the content on the subpage, might be worth redirecting the subpage for now.
 * a result of resolution -> the result of a resolution
 * who annually were -> who were annually
 * The 2nd sentence needs to be reworded for grammar and clarity
 * in a club history -> "in the club's history", or just delete
 * the team doing fairly well Needs a non-primary source
 * a good one Also needs a non-primary source
 * the first Kazakh team into the new league -> the first Kazakh team to join the new league
 * this time again in shootout Poor wording could be made clearer
 * the team secured a second straight Kazakhstan Hockey Championship title Needs a source.
 * The 2009–10 season saw Barys have a very similar season than the previous. Contradiction, needs editing for wording and clarity.
 * Fan favourite Kevin Dallman Needs a source saying he was a fan favorite.
 * the team's previous manager Andrei Shayanov remained in the team as an assistant coach Needs a citation.
 * formed BBD line What is this? It is not explained.
 * Arenas
 * just began to build -> just began construction
 * to the temporary relocations -> to relocate temporarily
 * of existence -> of its existence
 * the team based -> the team was based
 * The main reason was the regrettably little capacity. information not given in source
 * Team identity
 * wrote -> is written
 * with adding -> who added
 * Rivalry with Ak Bars Kazan
 * Rivalry -> The rivalry
 * teams often refers as -> teams is often referred to as
 * This section is OR and doesn't represent the source
 * Leaders and below
 * These sections have some serious WP:MOSLIST issues, I suggest rereading the guideline and changing sections to prose or removing them when appropriate

Review
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail: