Talk:Basuto Gun War/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 20:11, 8 January 2022 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Review

 * Lead section / Infobox
 * Unlink British in British Cape Colony, also the link is duplicated in the same paragraph (so the second link needs to be removed)


 * Link Basutoland; dominion


 * Link standard bearer in the caption


 * 1 Background
 * Link Basutoland; missionaries; gunpowder; muskets; dominion; British Empire; protectorate


 * 2 Prelude
 * Link Basutoland and Cape Colony in the caption


 * Link magistrate court; telegram


 * 3 Conflict
 * Unlink Griqua (duplicate link);


 * Link Charles Clarke in the caption;


 * Link Prince Alfred Volunteer Guards (Chief Maqoma Regiment; mortar (Mortar (weapon)); Greek (Greek language); carbine; melee; vote of no confidence (Motion of no confidence); armistice


 * 4 Aftermath
 * Red link Basuto Civil War

Other comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 11:21, 13 January 2022 (UTC)

The information in the article is really carefully structured and (as far as I can tell so far) an accurate and thorough account of the war. However, it's packed with details and extra information you would expect from a chapter in a book, as opposed to an encyclopaedia article. Also, the article contains information which, while interesting to read, could be considered excessively detailed or off-topic. There are words that are redundant, and it would help improve the prose if they were trimmed. My suggestions for the lead and Background sections follow:


 * Lead section
 * its terms envisioned the disarmament of = ‘with the aim of disarming’; monetary cost of conducting = 'cost of’;


 * excessive detail - which came into effect on 18 March 1884;


 * 1 Background
 * The missionaries sought to promote = ‘They promoted’; It was during this time that they = ’and’; After a number of initial setbacks, the Basuto managed to either capture or acquire = ‘They obtained’; Nevertheless, most of the guns in Basuto possession = 'but the guns’; to trade between themselves under the terms of the 1854 Bloemfontein Convention = ‘to trade weapons themselves’; in the ensuing three wars = 'in wars'; Fearing that the destruction of the Basuto people was imminent, Moshoeshoe, his sons and local missionaries began appealing to = ‘The Basuto appealed to’; also remained - ‘remained’


 * Redundant words - a number of ; and ammunition; large numbers of;


 * excessive detail - the British were worried by the disruption in trade caused by the war and the possibility of Boer expansion to the Pondoland coast.; Distrusting the Natal administration and believing that the Cape Colony was not yet ready to absorb the new territory, Wodehouse disregarded those instructions. He blocked the supply of ammunition to the Free State and;


 * 2 Prelude
 * a license issued by the colonial government = ‘a government license; great autonomy = autonomy; The Basuto chiefs were particularly irritated by the magistrates' interference into land disputes, as they = ‘The magistrates interfered with land disputes, when the Basuto’; The ensuing cultural clash, triggered the emergence of a prophetess movement. Whereby diviners = Basuto prophetesses’; Morosi was opposed to the creation of the Quthing District and came into conflict with the inexperienced Hope. = ‘ a move opposed by Morosi.’; Morosi was decapitated and his head = Morosi’s decapitated head; under which the colony's executive branch could issue proclamations to confiscate = ‘which allowed for the confiscation of’; While the bill did not initially extend to Basutoland, Sprigg decided that its implementation was necessary = ‘Sprigg decided that its implementation should extend to the Basuto’; 16 October 1879, Sprigg announced that the Peace Preservation Act would apply not only to rebels but to the entirety of the Basuto population = ‘This was announced’; also held immense symbolic capital as = ‘were’; of Quthing was a violation = was a violation’; the absolute majority of the population = ‘Basuto’; Multiple petitions and delegations originating = ‘Petitions’; Letsie I was old and his health had declined considerably, he = ‘Letsie I, now  old and in declining health’; he issued a circular communicating this command; Only a small minority of the =’Few’;


 * Redundant words - about this constitutional reform; to allocate troops for the expedition; development;


 * Excessive detail - who maintained a linguistic and cultural identity distinct from the rest of the Basuto; Morosi antagonized Hope by engaging in obstruction of justice and attempted to intermediate him by attending official meetings with a heavily armed retinue.; with a fine of 20 heads of cattle; The motion was supported by Cape Governor Sir Henry Bartle Frere, who saw it as a step towards the creation of a South African confederation.; its arguments were instead presented by Basutophile MPs Joseph Orpen and Thomas Ekins Fuller. Petitions against the disarmament were also dispatched through Griffith to both Frere and Queen Victoria; Griffith outlined the erosion of the magistrates' authority in a series of letters and telegrams. Describing the outcome of the pitso, the failure of the disarmament drive and a series of reports on the murders as well as cattle and land seizures from people who had surrendered their weapons.

More to follow. This is a potentially great article, so I don't mind spending more time reviewing it than I would normally. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:43, 13 January 2022 (UTC)


 * 3 Conflict
 * In the meantime, Frere had been recalled back = ‘Frere was recalled’; had taken responsibility of maintaining its own = ‘was responsible for its’; heavy rain which had turned the ground into mud = ‘deep mud’; caused the morale of the already unmotivated Cape army to plunge = ‘reduced the Cape troops’ morale still further’; January was marked by the outbreak of the First Boer War in Transvaal which = In January the outbreak of the First Boer War’; on the other hand were = ‘agreed’;

I would argue that they need to be kept in the article. Unfortunately I could not find any figures for the Basuto casualties in any of the sources cited in the article or Lagden's history of Basutoland. I think they are hard to estimate since a lot of people were killed in the infighting between the rebels and the loyalists. Best I can do is add up the Basuto casualties from individual battles and say over X dead and wounded.--Catlemur (talk) 18:20, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Redundant words/excessive details - his troops from the area; Oral traditions further outline that; had participated in the negotiations and; The Cape's casualties during the war totaled 94 killed and 112 wounded. (unless balanced by a comment about Basuto losses)


 * 4 Aftermath
 * uncooperative character of the Basuto = ‘Basuto’s lack of cooperation’; an expert in negotiating with native populations = ‘ an expert negotiator’;


 * Redundant words/excessive detail - Hostilities had ended and most; the new Cape Colony; which precipitated Griffith's departure from Basutoland on a one year leave; Gordon arrived in Cape Town on 3 May, accepting the position of Commandant-General of the Cape Forces 15 days later.; with a resident and two sub-residents who would hold a consultative role,; By the time of his arrival in Basutoland, Gordon had begun to criticize Orpen's policies and openly call for his removal.; Free State president Johannes Brand protested the Cape's failure to secure the northern border of Basutoland, in violation of the 1869 Treaty of Aliwal North. In March 1883, Orpen was replaced by Captain Matt Blyth.; In November, the Imperial Government sent a telegram to the Basuto, enquiring whether they wished to remain the queen's subjects, facilitating Lesotho's ascension to independence in 1966

The current images are fine, but there aren't many.
 * I have found and uploaded a few more images that you could perhaps use in the article. See here for the Wikicommons category where I have put them. There is also an illustration of Maseru c. 1882 (here), and several of the politicians have portraits on Wikicommons as well. (The portraits are, well, unexciting, so I would bother with them.)
 * I have produced a map of western Basutoland (here) which is not yet complete, but which I think would help readers understand the war better if it was added to the article. Thoughts? Amitchell125 (talk) 14:17, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for the map and the images, I have linked the Commons category to the article. I will add a couple of additional images. There is an excellent map of Basutoland dating to 1871 here. I did not upload it to Commons since I was unsure about its copyright status, but you can surely use it to improve your map even further.--Catlemur (talk) 18:20, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for putting up the map, I'll amend it shortly. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:40, 15 January 2022 (UTC)

There are still copy editing issues to be addressed, non of them major. I'll be bold and do the obvious punctuation errors myself (commas, mostly), and list anything else I spot here. Feel free to revert me! Amitchell125 (talk) 18:42, 15 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * ended with - 'ended in '


 * by the British Cape Colony's administration - 'by the Cape Colony administration'


 * 1 Background
 * smugglers – 'smuggled'


 * materiel – 'material'
 * Isn't materiel correct in this context per 1?--Catlemur (talk) 21:34, 15 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Yep, forgot about it. AM


 * Transforming the denigratory exonym of Sotho into the name of the nascent Basuto nation. This needs copy editing to improve the grammar
 * Transforming – 'He transformed'


 * became part of the British Empire out of necessity, viewing - 'who became part of the British Empire out of necessity, viewed'


 * Seeking – 'They sought to'


 * on the other hand is an idiomatic expression (MOS:IDIOM) and should be replaced


 * calling it a crown colony and a protectorate at various times – 'at various times calling it a crown colony and a protectorate' sounds better imo


 * 2 Prelude
 * The map should include a date in the origin; as the map has labels, (dark pink) is redundant


 * the Cape Colony implemented – 'it implemented'


 * who became – 'and the people became'?
 * Well it was the spirit of Moshoeshoe that was allegedly angry rather than the people.--Catlemur (talk) 10:31, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Understood, sentence amended to make that clearer. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:21, 16 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Making the Basuto – 'As a result, the Basuto'


 * no concrete guarantee – 'no guarantee'


 * failing to – 'all of which failed to'


 * 3 Conflict
 * of Maseru which consisted of 200 CMR soldiers - 'of 200 CMR soldiers at Maseru'


 * major buildings – 'main buildings'


 * that held resentment towards the Cape authorities to exploit the transfer of a large body of troops to Basutoland – could be deleted (apologies for not spotting it earlier)


 * Austen's severed head – when did he lose his head?
 * He was killed and decapitated by rebellious tribesmen outside of Basutoland (so this event was not part of the revolt), who then offered his head as a peace offering for previous wars against Moshoeshoe. I did not include that in the article to avoid bloating it further.--Catlemur (talk) 21:34, 15 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM


 * three million £ - '£3 million'


 * 4 Aftermath
 * giving birth (idiom)


 * Consenting – 'and consented'


 * this event shifted – 'which shifted'


 * Only a suggestion (it's a thesis, so can't really be used as a reference), but you could include this in a Further reading section at the end.
 * This link provides the full Cape Colony casualty lists. Another one for the Further reading section?


 * There a few pages in this source (pp416-19) that may be of some use.
 * This publication - a primary source, so unusable for references here - could be added to a Further reading section. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:57, 15 January 2022 (UTC)
 * I also included Lagden's History of the Basuto since it covers the topic.--Catlemur (talk) 11:00, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
 * I also included Lagden's History of the Basuto since it covers the topic.--Catlemur (talk) 11:00, 16 January 2022 (UTC)

Hi, the article is close to passing, there's just one issue remaining, and I'm not sure about it. There are no subsections to break up the sections in the body, some of which are large. Subsections are generally used, but I don't know if they're needed here if the article is to be passed at GA. I've asked Wikipedia talk:Good article nominations to get back to me over this one. They might say subsections are optional. What are your thoughts? Amitchell125 (talk) 13:51, 16 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Update - User:Buidhe from GAN has replied and suggested subsections are the way forward, and had amended the article to add some in within the text. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:01, 16 January 2022 (UTC)


 * I've updated the subsections. The map looks great by the way. Just one minor detail, no fighting took place on Mount Moorosi during the Gun War.--Catlemur (talk) 14:17, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Hi, the map is easily updated, I'll do some more work on it. Could you add new subsection titles to the Prelude and Aftermath sections, and then we're done? Amitchell125 (talk) 14:26, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
 * , done.--Catlemur (talk) 16:31, 16 January 2022 (UTC)

Passing the article
Well done on doing a terrific job on this fascinating topic. Passing with flying colours! Amitchell125 (talk) 16:45, 16 January 2022 (UTC)