Talk:Battle of Jackson/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 14:26, 24 February 2021 (UTC)

Intend to review. Ping if I forget. Cheers, Eddie891 Talk Work 14:26, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Comments
 * What's the thinking about 'Campaign' vs. 'campaign' this week? I note that our article is at Vicksburg campaign
 * lowercase is the norm as far as I'm aware. I've edited the first sentence of the lead and the heading of the campaignbox to reflect this.
 * "Grant decided to move south of the city on the opposite side of the river, and then cross south of Vicksburg" I think one of these 'south's is redundant
 * Agree. Rephrased, but the new version is still a little awkward
 * "would have been expected" by whom? Presumably not longer than the confederates themselves expected?
 * That was a bit of editorializing, so I've rephrased it to "prolong the battle"
 * "bloodied men, although additional reinforcements were expected" I don't think it's clear what 'bloodied' here is intended to mean. Perhaps "recently defeated" is more explicit?
 * Rephrased. I was introduced to the ACW by popular history writers like Bruce Catton, so it's sometimes a struggle for me to avoid more florid popular history phrasing.
 * The sentence beginning "Johnston decided that Jackson" doesn't seem to flow very well, imo. Could you take a stab at rephrasing?
 * I've cleaned up part of it, does that help?
 * "Johnston sent Pemberton a misleading message" any idea why? was it intentionally misleading?
 * I've added some more detail on this.
 * "Brigadier General W. H. T. Walker and Colonel Peyton Colquitt " suggest making clear at the outset of the sentence that they are confederates.
 * Done
 * "Sherman's advance met less resistance. Only small amount of artillery fire resisted his advance, " perhaps replace one of the two variations of "resist" in such close succession?
 * Done
 * I think linking African American is overlinking
 * Links removed
 * "In addition to the seven cannons capture by " tense?
 * Fixed typo
 * "destroyed infrastructure in the city. Factories, warehouses, and other military and economic sites were destroyed" could we find a way to not use 'destroy' in such close succession?
 * Done
 * "For a time, Grant had is "?
 * Corrected to "his"
 * "Estimates of casualties suffered in the battle vary somewhat. " you could lose the 'somewhat' and not lose anything, I think.
 * Removed
 * "as does the National Park Service. " The NPS has the same estimate of confederate casualties, or those of both sides?
 * Both. Clarified
 * "with 46,00 men to follow " tyop?
 * Yes. Corrected
 * Sources are reliable
 * Images are appropriately licensed
 * some minor suggestions. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:10, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
 * - Thanks for a thorough review, as always. I'm just a naturally bad copy editor, which results in obvious errors like "46,00" sneaking in. Hog Farm Talk 05:19, 1 March 2021 (UTC)