Talk:Battle of Kharistan/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 14:21, 10 September 2016 (UTC)
 * I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:21, 10 September 2016 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * Lead:
 * No article on the town Kharistan?
 * "most of the roaming bands of his army were destroyed" - it may just be me, but "roaming bands" implies that they were sent out on purpose, but the context seems to mean "fleeing from the battle". Perhaps a reword?
 * The meaning is indeed that they were sent out on purpose; it links with the previous sentence, "...the Turgesh ruler dispersed his army to raid and gather forage...". Constantine  ✍  16:29, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Battle:
 * "and while the Arab governor had been able to escape complete" any reason we need to specify "Arab" here?
 * Other than the fact that "governor" is rather generic, not really. You are right that we can dispense with it here. Constantine  ✍  16:29, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
 * "Harith" or "ibn Surayi" - you use both, pick one and make the whole article consistent.
 * Done. Constantine  ✍  16:29, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
 * awkward "the khagan's horse got stuck in the mud, and was rescued by Harith, and because the Muslims did not recognize him" - can we reword?
 * Done. Constantine  ✍  16:29, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
 * HAve you given any thought to breaking out the explanatory notes (such as 17, 18, or 23) into a separate section using Template:Efn and Template:Notelist?
 * They look handy, thanks for the suggestion. Implemented. Constantine  ✍  16:29, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Copyvio check:
 * Earwig's tool shows no violation.
 * Random googling of three sentences shows no matches beyond mirror sites.
 * References:
 * A check of Google Scholar turned up nothing you're not already using, although I admit that I don't know enough about Arabic transliteration to be able to search for alternative spellings.
 * I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:46, 10 September 2016 (UTC)


 * I'm working on finding about the twon Kharistan, but I presume if such thing is futile, a description of nearby cities is sufficient. Alexis Ivanov (talk) 22:05, 10 September 2016 (UTC)
 * If there isn't a good link, there's no problem with not having it linked. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:06, 10 September 2016 (UTC)
 * It probably doesn't exist anymore, that is as much as I could find, I'm still discussing with the main contributor of the page about this. Alexis Ivanov (talk) 22:51, 10 September 2016 (UTC)

Hi Ealdgyth, thanks for taking the time for this review! Regarding Kharistan, it is indeed difficult to pinpoint it, or at least the sources I and Alexis have access to do not contain anything relevant. Otherwise I have included the suggested changes and/or replied to them as needed. Constantine  ✍  16:29, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Passing this now. Looks good! Ealdgyth - Talk 12:55, 12 September 2016 (UTC)