Talk:Battle of Montemaggiore/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 12:47, 5 October 2013 (UTC)

I'll do this one. Will get started shortly. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 12:47, 5 October 2013 (UTC) Comments Placing on hold for seven days for these comments to be addressed. Regards, Peacemaker67 (send... over) 01:35, 6 October 2013 (UTC)
 * "offence" is not the right word in this context. Suggest "Lombard-Norman force"?
 * some more background and context needs to be added to the article in general, as well as clarification of terms unfamiliar to the layperson. Some examples are:
 * The "Norman adventurer William Iron Arm"
 * an explanation that the Catepan was a Byzantine provincial governor or that the Catepanate was a Byzantine province
 * more information about the Lombard-Norman revolts and why they occurred (in Background), including why they were allied
 * which line were the fresh troops in?
 * the force is variously described as Lombard-Norman and Norman. Suggest it be treated consistently unless there is a specific reason
 * the bit about what the Norman knights did after the battle should go in the Aftermath, not Background
 * more information about who sent the Catepan to Sicily and why would be helpful. Was he demoted because he lost, that's what I'm assuming, but it needs clarification.
 * add Norman conquest of southern Italy as a link in the lead and the body (obvious there is some sourced material there that could be used to flesh out the Background)
 * who says there were 2,000 knights? Useful detail, particularly a sense of when that information was recorded and by whom.
 * more information about the result of the battle of Montepeloso would be useful. Did the Lombard-Norman's win, for example?
 * a clearer chronology of the increase in Lombard-Norman forces would help. At present, the numbers at Olivento are intertwined with the numbers at Montemaggiore.
 * the Rogers citation (#5) should be in the same format as the others
 * Rogers appears (from snippet view of p.68, to say Robert Guiscard commanded the Normans at Montemaggiore. Can you clarify?
 * the use of "great" and "particularly great" is a bit WP:WEASELLY, suggest you modify the language
 * you appear to have utilised most if not all of the sources I could locate on the subject, so despite the fact the article is quite short, I believe that with the suggested expansion of background and some additional context, it could be GA if the other comments are also addressed.
 * Have just discovered that this nom has been withdrawn. Leaving as is for future reference. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 06:08, 12 October 2013 (UTC)