Talk:Battle of Roan's Tan Yard/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 21:47, 11 October 2020 (UTC)

Got it. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:47, 11 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Infobox: "c. 128" doesn't work. You can't be "about" an exact number.
 * Removed the circa
 * "Sterling Price's pro-Confederate Missouri State Guard" is trying to do a lot of work. Maybe 'pro-Confederate Missouri State Guard commanded by Sterling Price'?
 * Went with something similar
 * "a previous Missouri State Guard defeat at the Battle of Mount Zion Church the preceeding December". "a previous ... the preceeding December'. You only need one.
 * Removed "previous". Also realized the preceding was misspelled
 * Randolph County is duplinked.
 * Fixed
 * "into the southwestern portion of the state" → 'into southwestern Missouri'?
 * Done
 * "while at Neosho, Jackson and the pro-secession state legislators" This could do with a little further explanation.
 * Mentioned that they were there cause Lyon had kicked them out of the capital.
 * Caption: "Map of Roan's Tan Yard Battlefield core and study areas" "Core and study areas" - you what?
 * Rephrased. It had apparently been there since 2017, and I didn't pay the caption much attention.
 * Me too with my own noms.

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:14, 11 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "serve in Price's command" → either 'his command' or specify the unit.
 * Fixed. I didn't realize I named Price twice in that sentence
 * "About 4 miles (6.4 km)". Optional: set |sigfig=1.
 * Done
 * "Torrence deployed his men and formulated his plan of attack"> I know what you mean, but wouldn't he have formulated his plan before deploying his units.
 * Removed "formulated his plan of attack", as it's not really needed
 * "Once the attack hit around 16:30". This reads as if it were a continuation of hte plan; you need something to let the reader know that you have switched to an account of actual events.
 * Started the sentence off with "The". Does this help with anything?
 * "Once the attack hit around 16:30, the Missouri State Guardsmen put up little resistance, and the camp was captured after a fight of only thirty or forty minutes; large quantities of supplies were taken in the abandoned camp." Overlong sentence IMO.
 * Split
 * "using fog to cover their retreat". You either need to elaborate a little here on the fog, or introduce it earlier - perhaps when switching from the formulating to the action?
 * Done
 * "After the battle, the camp destroyed; Missouri State Guard recruiting activities in Randolph County ceased." Umm. Maybe 'After the battle, the camp was destroyed and Missouri State Guard recruiting activities in Randolph County ceased.'? Although I am not sure that I see the connection between these two things.
 * Done. The sources make a connection, which I've tried to clarify
 * "the setbacks led to a reduction of pro-Confederate activities in the central Missouri region overall" Optional: delete "overall".
 * Done
 * "between 80 and 100 Missouri State Guard soldiers were killed or wounded in the action". Delete "in the action".
 * Removed
 * "Poindexter's loss at 80 total". Maybe 'at a total of 80'?
 * Done
 * "although one source places the loss at as high as 27". "the" → 'their'.
 * Fixed. I'm terrible at copyediting myself.

Gog the Mild (talk) 10:54, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
 * - All done to date. The sourcing is weak enough on this one that GA's probably a bit of a stretch, but I think there's enough here to just barely scrape by that standard. Hog Farm Bacon 13:57, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
 * That all looks good. The sourcing is fine, although I wouldn't want to push the National Park Service - which you have used judiciously - past GAN.
 * There is very little on the actual battle, less than a sentence and a half. I can live with that, but you don't address whether the Union assault unfolded as planned. Is this known? Gog the Mild (talk) 14:14, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
 * - Not in the secondary sources I can get my hands on. I'll look in the Official Records of the War of the Rebellion to see if I can find Torrence's report (I doubt Poindexter's exists, the Missouri Confederates were terrible about writing reports).  I don't think the records physically exist to take this above GA, much like there's just not enough information in existance to take Slayback's Missouri Cavalry Regiment to FAC. Hog Farm Bacon 14:22, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
 * - Got as much as probably exists added. Hog Farm Bacon 14:40, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
 * - Got as much as probably exists added. Hog Farm Bacon 14:40, 12 October 2020 (UTC)


 * That will do nicely. Passing. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:52, 12 October 2020 (UTC)