Talk:Beach Games/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 14:42, 6 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Lede: I would link names and add actors to the various characters ✅
 * Lede: "Episode scenes involved various cast members wearing sumo outfits" This seems just a tad bit out of place, maybe reword the sentence to make it seem more important ✅
 * Lede: "and many gave the sumo suit scenes as particular highlights" -> "and many cited the sumo suit scenes as particular highlights" ✅
 * Synopsis: I would add actors after the characters ✅
 * Synopsis: "won't" watch conteractions ✅
 * Synopsis: "citing as one example that almost no one attended her art show" -> "citing the fact that almost no one attended her art show" ✅
 * Production: Maybe explain the cold opening, I can't remember off the top of my head what it is, so that would help the readers
 * I'll have to rewatch it again tomorrow to make sure I get all the details right.  Ruby  2010/  2013  04:27, 9 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Production: "…the dour office, "the bleakest…" the comma after office should be a colon ✅
 * Production: Move the refs [1][3] after Hansen Dam to the end of the sentence ✅
 * Production: "And at night, they had heaters everywhere…" -> "At night, the production crew set up heaters everywhere…" ✅
 * Production: "Actress Kate Flannery also found the days of filming to be in "hot" temperatures…" -> "Actress Kate Flannery later said that the days of filming were extremely "hot"…" ✅
 * Production: The section about spitting out after ingesting. Did they really do it after ingesting? As in barfing? Or did they spit them out after putting them in their mouths? ✅
 * Production: in this section the pronoun 'they' is used quite frequently. Who are 'they'? ✅
 * Production: I would place a cite after every quotation ✅
 * Cultural References: "sang" -> "sings". Also, do they sing the Friends theme song? I don't remember that…
 * I believe their rendition of the song didn't make it into the episode. I have removed it for clarity's sake.  Ruby  2010/  2013

That's all. On hold for seven days.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)  02:00, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Reception: Again, I'd add cites for every quotation ✅
 * I have addressed or replied to all of your comments. Thanks very much for the review!  Ruby  2010/  2013  04:27, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Looks good! Passing.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)  14:47, 9 July 2012 (UTC)