Talk:Before Crisis: Final Fantasy VII/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Niwi3 (talk · contribs) 18:34, 3 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi ProtoDrake, the article has some small issues that should be easy to fix. The main issue I had with the article is the fact that it sometimes assumes that the general reader is familiarized with the Final Fantasy series, but other than that it is a fairly solid article. --Niwi3 (talk) 18:34, 3 April 2015 (UTC)

General

 * This is not a big issue, but calling Final Fantasy VII simply VII is a bit confusing for me (not to mention for the general reader) as sometimes I'm not sure whether it is referring to the actual game or the whole compilation. Also, "Final Fantasy VII" is not a long name, so I don't see the point of simplifying it further.

Lead

 * Action role-playing should be wikilinked.
 * The sentence that includes release dates and platforms should be simplified to increase accessibility. I would recommend to replace the sentence with the following: "...video game developed by Square Enix and originally released for the FOMA mobile service on September 24, 2004. It was later released for SoftBank Mobile and EZweb in 2007."
 * "Before Crisis is a prequel to the 1997 video game Final Fantasy VII, and forms part of the..." -- No comma needed; it breaks the flow of the prose.
 * "It takes place six years prior to the events of VII, and focuses on the adventures" -- Again, no comma needed.
 * "Before Crisis, the second title created for the Compilation, was developed by Square Enix as a gameplay and multiplayer experience unique to mobile devices. The company's first original Final Fantasy title for mobiles, it was directed by Hajime Tabata as his first major for Square Enix. The initial concept was created by him at the request of Tetsuya Nomura for a game that had the Turks as protagonists" -- Too many intricate details: No need to repeat again the fact that the game was developed by Square Enix. Also the fact that the game is "technically" the second game in the compilation is redundant and unnecessary. I would suggest to replace the whole sentence with the following: "As the first major Final Fantasy game for mobile devices, Before Crisis was designed as a gameplay and multiplayer experience unique to the platform. It is the first major project directed by Hajime Tabata, who created the initial concept at the request of Tetsuya Nomura for a game that had the Turks as protagonists." The simpler, the better.
 * "The music was composed by Takeharu Ishimoto, originally a sound arranger at the company." -- Replace the company with Square Enix.

Gameplay

 * "Before Crisis is a real-time action role-playing game. The game uses 2D graphics as the player moves along in a side-scrolling manner." -- Action role-playing should be wikilinked. Also, these two sentences can be merged so that the prose flows better: "Before Crisis is a real-time action role-playing game featuring 2D graphics as the player moves along in a side-scrolling manner."
 * "Free Mode allows players to roam the town and speak with the townspeople." -- What town?
 * "Players can also play extra missions to gain Experience points (XP) and items, some of which are exclusive to Free Mode" -- The acronym (XP) is unnecessary.
 * "For example, a dark green picture results in a Bio Materia, a blue picture results in a Cure Materia, etc." -> "For example, a dark green picture results in a Bio Materia, while a blue picture results in a Cure Materia." (Don't forget to remove the etc bit).
 * "Rank Points (RP) are awarded during the completion of objectives in all three modes of play. After a certain amount of RP has been acquired, special bonuses are..." -- No need to abbreviate Rank Points because the acronym only appears once more.
 * "'Easy Mode' came in 2006. In 'Easy Mode', the player has the ability to auto-evade incoming attacks and reduce damage taken. 'Hard Mode', added in 2007 and meant for advanced users, increases the damage dealt by enemy attacks." -> "'Easy Mode' was released in 2006 and allows the player to auto-evade incoming attacks and reduce damage taken, while 'Hard Mode', released in 2007 and meant for advanced users, increases the damage dealt by enemy attacks."

Plot

 * The plot section should be renamed as "Synopsis" and the story subsection should be renamed as "Plot".

Development

 * "While the second title created for the series, it was the first to be released when Advent Children was delayed during post-production." -> "Although Before Crisis is the second title created for the series, it was the first to be released because Advent Children was delayed during post-production."
 * In the sentence "The game's release in the west was announced at the 2006 Electronic Entertainment Expo", you should add the acronym (E3) because it will be used later in the reception section.

Reception

 * "Massimilla praised the animation as 'smooth'..." -> "Massimilla praised the smooth animations..."
 * "Additionally, she thought the demo phone's vibrating function, set off when the player receives a call from Tseng, 'was a really nice touch.'" -- To reduce the number of small quotes, I would replace the quote "was a really nice touch" with "was a subtle detail".

I think that's it. If you have any questions on these points, or if you think I'm being unreasonable, please ask. --Niwi3 (talk) 18:34, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * I've (hopefully) attended to all the issues you cited. If there's anything else, let me know. --ProtoDrake (talk) 19:06, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Alright, all the issues have been addressed, so I'm happy to pass this article. Keep up the good work. --Niwi3 (talk) 21:57, 3 April 2015 (UTC)