Talk:Bella Goth/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominators:  04:41, 8 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Maplestrip (talk · contribs) 08:23, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this article in the coming days. I divide my comments between those that need to be addressed in some form before the article can pass, and miscellaneous comments hopefully helpful for further improvements. I expect this to be a smooth one, on first viewing the article looks like a fine piece of work. I will be filling out this page as I go. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 08:23, 23 May 2024 (UTC)
 * As per "Jumping back in" below, I am afraid I must fail this article. Best of luck improving this article further if you can. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 12:03, 29 May 2024 (UTC)

Items that need to be addressed

 * Mangled sentence that I don't understand: Removing it instead, somehow looks a bit redundant
 * Her redesign in The Sims 2 is left very vague. I was left wondering whether her skin-tone changed there as well. You should make clear that it's about fairly subtle facial features. Attempted arranging it ✅
 * "Concept and creation" says there are two distinct Bellas in The Sims 2, but only one is described in the "Appearances" section.
 * "It is eventually discovered" should be "In the Playstation Portable release, she appears ..." Attempted ✅
 * I don't think this sentence is entirely grammatically correct and still needs a copy-edit. Who did the "discovering"? It also feels a bit written from an in-universe perspective, and why not include the fact that the Strangetown appearance is unique to the Playstation Portable release? For reference, this is the current sentence: "In the small desert town called Strangetown, she was eventually discovered and has another distinct appearance from a town called Pleasantview."


 * How about this? Or you mean "In the Playstation Portable release, she appears in Sims 2...."
 * The Tab says nothing about Bella losing her memory, having a different voice, or her appearance changing. It says that she never loved Mortimer and ran away from him. Removed and reworded a bit ✅
 * Going through the sources more, it feels to me like the alien abduction interpretation is technically also a fan-theory, just like the cloning. Is that right? ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 11:42, 23 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Yes, those are all fan-theory. 🍕  Boneless Pizza! 🍕 (🔔) 11:47, 23 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Lunar Lakes blonde, burnt-out, exasperated zombie Bella Goth (as mentioned in the Gamespot video and the unused Escapist article) is not mentioned at all.

Miscellaneous comments

 * The "Concept and creation" article skips directly from the character's introduction to her appearance three games later, in a way that feels extremely jarring. At least go chronological. ✅
 * The first sentence of "Concept and creation" and the first sentence of "Appearances" (presumably) say the exact same thing. ✅ reworded
 * ... as one of the characters players.??
 * The Tab says that "" This consistent characterization might be relevant for the article. ✅
 * I was thinking of this as a recurring character trait for the "Appearances" section, but I guess this works.
 * That's actually the opinion of a journalist, maybe it shouldn't really be at appearances.
 * this Polygon source discusses how The Sims stories like that of Bella Goth spurred online collaborative storytelling culture. I think this is the type of context vital to understanding Bella's bizarre and incomplete story. I couldn't quite figure out why everything was so confusing until I read this: "I quickly discovered, and fell in love with, these storytelling communities. Through them, I’d find players who wrote behind-the-scenes blogs about which details they picked up from the games, and what their interpretations were; which details they left out; and which confusing ones they tried to reconcile (while some of are brilliant, there’s definitely a lot of inconsistencies in The Sims 2)." ✅ I added, but not the entire quote".
 * I think you misunderstood: I pointed out this paragraph as helpful context for the article. This paragraph helped me understand that Bella Goth's inconsistencies are the main appeal and is what makes all the fan-theories happen. It makes clear that most of the content of this article is about fan-theories rather than dry lore. I was hoping this context could be placed somewhere early on in the article. (Additionally, the Livejournal/Tumblr communities do also seem like specific impact of the character).
 * I placed in the second sentence at the third paragraph now. 🍕  Boneless Pizza! 🍕 (🔔) 11:36, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

Comment I believed I resolved everything Maplestrip. 🍕 Boneless Pizza! 🍕 (🔔) 11:04, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

Jumping back in
I apologize for leaving this nomination on hold for this long. I was overwhelmed by it because I felt there were problems I couldn't quite pin down. A week later, looking at the article again, I am finding tons of little errors and weirdnesses. I don't believe that simply fixing all of these will bring the article to an appropriate state for GA, so I'm afraid I will fail this nomination either way. Here I will share some of the things I ran into on a fresh reread: ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 12:03, 29 May 2024 (UTC)


 * Her lighter skintone being "fixed"/being subject to "controversy" does not feel quite explained enough. Obviously I know that this kind of thing was criticized by fans, but the article states this in such a self-evidential way that I don't think is quite appropriate. "Some players are displeased with the changes" and "an old frustration" is not a controversy.
 * Kotaku talks way less about Bella's skin color than about Bella's reduced breastsize. Skin seems to be only a small part of the Goth-family redesign.
 * "... appeared in the first The Sims game as one of the characters players."
 * "She is married to a man named Mortimer Goth, In the first game, they have one child together"
 * Abduction by aliens is mentioned in the lede, mentioned off-the-cuff in "Concept", and then again revealed in "Appearances", only the third time with a wikilink.
 * " The Sims 3, which takes place before ..." run-on sentence.
 * "Her "bleach blonde ghost" form also often appears." needs a better explanation, the design is entirely different, right?
 * "The Sims 4 later depicts Bella as a young adult." What does "later" mean in this sentence?
 * "... as the most recognizable in the series ..." should be "the most recognizable family".
 * Shayna Josi uses she/her pronouns on her GameRant bio.
 * I'm not sure if "... helped with her to be recognized" is grammatical. Would that be something like "helped with her recognizability"? It feels like an odd sentence anyway. The source states "Strong storytelling and lore also creates stronger connections to characters," which might be a helpful angle here.
 * "In The Sims 4, fans have liked the mixed-race of Goth family from their very first appearance." The Goth family became mixed-race in this game? Why is that not mentioned in one of the previous sections?
 * "Since then [The Sims 4], Bella has also received attention, particularly for her red dress and breasts, and she has generally been a popular character among fans since appearing in the first game." Using "since" twice in the same sentence is very odd, especially if the second "since" is before the first "since." Moreover, she has "received attention" for her red dress and [large] breasts? What exactly does that mean? Is this good or bad?
 * "TechRadar writer Meggie Gates discussed Bella through the lens of Gates's same-sex attraction ..." This is interesting, but is it really specifically about Bella? It's a very personal story but I'm not quite sure what it tells us about the character. I assume this could apply for any sexy bisexual Sims character?
 * "Harrison Brocklehurst of The Tab praised and said that "the ..."

I will be leaving this review here, I couldn't find the time to review the last two paragraphs as each paragraph has numerous issues to note down. I hope you might try to nominate this article for GA again in the future, though I must recommend somewhat of a restructure to make the evolution of the character (chronologically, in-universe, and with respect to in-game appearances versus fan-speculations) easier to follow. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 12:03, 29 May 2024 (UTC)
 * I was chatting to a friend and they told me that one of the iconic aspects of Bella Goth's disappearance was her photo appearing on a milk carton. I don't know if there are any sources mentioning that (I didn't remember it from what I read and watched), but that might be a meaningful mention too. They also suggested there were multiple years between The Sims 2 and Bella Goth appearing in some versions of it; clarity on the timespans would be nice. ~ Maplestrip/Mable ( chat ) 06:34, 3 June 2024 (UTC)