Talk:Ben Gascoigne/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Xtzou ( Talk ) 18:57, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

This is a wonderful little article. I have only a few comments.


 * Per WP:LEAD, the lead could use a touch more info.
 * revised. hamiltonstone (talk) 05:59, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Early life
 * "It would not however be for another decade, and in a different country, that they would marry." This is more of a "literary" sentence than an encyclopedic one. I understood what you meant after I read down farther. But it appears to be written more for effect than to convey information.
 * changed.


 * "Gascoigne's heart had been set on studying mathematics at Cambridge." - likewise, is this encyclopedic. Maybe, but seems more literary.
 * rewrote and quoted to make clear it was his own turn of phrase (though i had originally paraphrased it for grammatical reasons). See what you htink.


 * War service 1940–1945


 * "The Solar Observatory staff had some similar responsibilities to what Gascoigne had been doing in New Zealand:" - seems clumsy. Suggest: "some similar responsibilities to those he had in New Zealand"?
 * agree. altered.


 * Mount Stromlo and the Anglo-Australian Telescope


 * "Granted none months of telescope observing time" - nine?
 * oops, yes!

Very nice! Xtzou ( Talk ) 18:57, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Will revise the lead hopefully tomorrow. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:08, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Xtzou, i've done what you suggested, but over the weekend i (unexpectedly) got several books that related to Gascoigne's work. I ended up significantly expanding the central section. Would you do me the favour of giving it a read through again? hamiltonstone (talk) 05:59, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Further comments


 * " Gascoigne was made a member of the technical committee advising on its design and construction - changed to Gascoigne became a member, as in the next sentence he "was made" something.
 * thanks, better.


 * "He topped his physics classes through university" - is this an Australian term for He topped his physics classes at the university?
 * It meant he was at the top of the class each year. It now reads "He came at the top of his physics classes throughout university,..." Is that any better?
 * No, but I take it to mean that is an Australian expression, so ok. Xtzou ( Talk ) 22:27, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * "Gascoigne said he had "set my heart" on studying mathematics at Cambridge." - sounds strange. Maybe better to reword it to something like " Although Gascoigne was determined to study mathematics at Cambridge, a different opportunity arose that was to shape his career significantly.
 * OK, changed it to: "Although Gascoigne had been determined to study mathematics at Cambridge, a different opportunity arose that was to significantly shape his career."

Xtzou ( Talk ) 15:42, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for looking over it again. hamiltonstone (talk) 22:24, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

 GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality: Clearly written; grammatically correct
 * B. MoS compliance: Complies with basic  MoS
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources: Reliable sources
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: Well referenced
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects: Sets the context
 * B. Focused: Remains focused on the subject
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!

Congratulations! Xtzou ( Talk ) 22:28, 10 May 2010 (UTC)