Talk:Bernard Hinault/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 16:15, 4 March 2019 (UTC)

Will review. MWright96 (talk) 16:15, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Thank you, looking forward to your comments :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:37, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * "he is often named among the greatest cyclists of all times." - time
 * "In 1978, he won his first two Grand Tours, winning both the Vuelta a España and the Tour de France. " - I believe winning both is redundant and needs deleting
 * "He bounced back the following year," - recovered
 * All ✅. Zwerg Nase (talk) 08:38, 9 March 2019 (UTC)

Early life and family

 * "Hinault had bought the 48-hectare property near Calorguen in 1983." - Use the 48 ha template on 48-hectacre
 * ✅ Zwerg Nase (talk) 08:39, 9 March 2019 (UTC)

Amateur career

 * "as a reward for passing his school exams" - examinations
 * "He took his military service at the young age of 18 over the course of 1973, not racing for the entire year." - How about He was conscripted into the military at age 18, and did not race throughout 1973.?
 * "On the road, he raced in the Étoile des Espoirs, a race open to amateurs and young professionals." - took part for the avoidance of close repetition of similar words
 * All ✅ Zwerg Nase (talk) 08:41, 9 March 2019 (UTC)

1975–1977: Gitane

 * "who had decided to split up the prize money" - divided is more formal here


 * "His results in his first season were impressive, with seventh at Paris–Nice" - with a seventh at the Paris–Nice
 * Have done the a, also added "place". Concerning the "the" ahead of bike race names. I know, Phil Liggett always says "the Paris-Nice" and so forth, but I feel this sounds stupid. From the reliable sources at my disposal, I see this is a handled differently. Cyclingnews doesn't use it for instance...
 * Just to clarify: Obviously I only mean races which start with place names, such as Paris-Nice or Paris-Roubaix. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:12, 15 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "netting him the Promotion Pernod," - how about earning instead?


 * "However, Hinault showed little willingsness" - typo; willingness


 * "lesser known races such as Paris–Camembert, which he won." - events such as the Paris–Camembert
 * See above.


 * "with a second, consecutive victory at the Circuit de la Sarthe," - the comma is redundant


 * "third at the Grand Prix du Midi Libre" - a third place


 * "being beaten to the line for fifth by none other than Eddy Merckx." - "none other than" is redundant and needs deleting


 * " Hinault left the Tour of Flanders before it had even started, gaining him a formal warning by Guimard for his conduct." - drawing


 * "Five days later, at Liège–Bastogne–Liège," - at the
 * See above.


 * "leading Van Impe and Bernard Thévenet by 1:30 minutes by the summit." - heading into
 * I chose "when crossing"


 * Wikilink hairpin to Hairpin turn for non-cycling readers


 * "This also secured his overall victory" - him the overall victory

1978: Grand Tour breakthrough

 * "on which he rode 55 km (34 mi) on his own," - solo


 * "Hinault rode conservatively in the Pyrenees to stay within striking distance of Zoetemelk." - what is meant by striking distance here?
 * Meaning that he limited the time deficit on the general classification.


 * "as was the case on this 12 July." - remove "this"


 * "ended with Zoetemelk, Hinault and the temporary yellow jersey Michel Pollentier" - yellow jersey wearer


 * "but Hinault surprisingly contested the finishing sprint," - "surprisingly" sounds like editorialising to me; should be changed to something neutral or be removed

1979: Second Tour victory and Classics success

 * "with third placed Kuiper already more than 12 minutes behind." - with the third-placed
 * "He had escaped from the field a massive 150 km (93 mi) from the finish," - remove "a massive"
 * Both ✅ Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:11, 9 March 2019 (UTC)

1980: Attempt at the Triple Crown

 * "dropping out of Paris–Nice." - withdrawing from the
 * Did withdrawing, for "the" see above.


 * "Following fourth place at the prologue" - Following a fourth place


 * "which contained cobbled sections used in Paris–Roubaix," - used in the}
 * See above.


 * "not informing the press, which let to a fallout" - led

1981: Winning a third Tour de France

 * "Some weeks later, he added a victory at the Amstel Gold Race." how many weeks exactly?
 * Good thing you mentioned this, it was actually earlier. Calender was different back then... Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:18, 9 March 2019 (UTC)

1982: Achieving the Giro–Tour double

 * "Zoetemelk was again the runner up," - runner up is hyphenated

1983: Second Vuelta and the ascent of Fignon

 * "He bounced back and took the lead" - came back

1984: Defeat at Fignon's hands

 * "while at the same time scientificly measuring his progress." - typo; scientifically

1985: The second Giro–Tour double

 * "even though his team car rode behind him with the door opened the entire time to ensure that bystanders would have a harder time impeeding him." - typo; should be impeding
 * Done. Some English spelling I will just never understand...


 * The entire second paragraph in this section lacks reliable source(s)
 * Done. Broke up that part into two paragraphs and forgot to duplicate the source.


 * "holding an advantage of five-and-a-half minues on LeMond," - typo; minutes
 * All ✅. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:31, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

1986: The final season

 * "partly due to Hinault deciding that the team" - change the text in bold to squad for variety and to remove close reptition of the same word
 * Done.


 * "Hinault then cracked, coming in ninth, 4:39 behind stage winner LeMond." - 4:39 minutes
 * Done.


 * "He rode the World Championships Road Race, held at Colorado Springs." - held in
 * Done.


 * "He aimed to win, showing surprising effort in his preparation." - editoralising is again present here
 * Changed to "a lot of".


 * "Nevertheless, he finished the race in a disappointing 59th place" - same issue as above
 * All ✅. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:34, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Retirement

 * "the Tour de France organisers, Amaury Sport Organisation (ASO), approached Hinault and invited him to join the management team of the event." - its race management team.
 * Done.


 * "Offers from Bouygues Télécom and a Chinese investor in the mid-2000s did not go through." - fell through.
 * All ✅. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:35, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Riding style and legacy

 * "Hinault would be able to control the pace of races, use his influence with race organisers" - change to event to avoid close reptition of "race"
 * Have changed the first instance to "the peloton" instead.


 * "The riders' strike at Valence d'Agen in the 1978 Tour is cited as the first instance in which Hinault took over this role." - assumed
 * Done.


 * "He urged the riders to protest and ride slowly, but some broke ranks," - disagreed
 * Chose "did not follow his example".


 * "during his Tour wins and his behavior towards fans and officials" - behaviour
 * Done.


 * "who he treated with open disgust." - whom
 * Done.


 * "With an impressive résumé of victories, including all three Grand Tours (all of them more than once)," - rewrite to With a résumé of victories that include all three Grand Tours to avoid editorialising
 * Done, with "includes" for grammar reasons.


 * "Hinault has often been cited among the greatest cyclists of all time." - cited by whom?
 * Well, I have given two sources of many right behind this statement. Should I write down the authors of that? Those people are not well-known, so I feel that does not add much to the article. The main thing is to source the statement overall. Have added another example in a sentence right behind. Hope this suffices. Let me know. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:44, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
 * I do not believe the authors are required in this instance. MWright96 (talk) 18:48, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Nickname

 * "who would use the term to put the young rider in his place." - try to avoid using idioms per MOS:IDIOM
 * Have changed to "tease the young rider". Still fairly colloquial, but maybe better? Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:46, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
 * I believe that is much better than the previous version. MWright96 (talk) 18:48, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Stance on doping

 * "He was handed a one-month suspended ban and fined 1,110 Swiss Francs," - CHF 1,110 per MOS:CURRENCY
 * Done. Have also wikilinked to Swiss Franc since I feel the currency constitutes a "lesser known currency" per MOS:CURRENCY.


 * "To this claim, Hinault replied" - To counter this claim.
 * Done.


 * "he urged the other riders to strike in protest if Froome should compete." - if Froome competed.
 * All ✅. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:49, 15 March 2019 (UTC)