Talk:Bill Newton/GA1

GA Review
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 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Seems okay to me. Corrected one grammatical error.
 * Is the query next to MoS meant to be there for anything...?? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Seems okay to me. I find it odd that he has a biography but you did not use it.
 * As I said to Bryce on my talk page, I tend to avoid the full bios so I don't get caught up in too much detail, though I know this particular one isn't a big book (it could hardly be, the guy was only 23!). I think the level of detail here is pretty reasonable for B/GA-level, and would obviously look into this book to add the content necessary for ACR, which'd be after it's bedded down at GA. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Sorry, is the query next to OR meant to be there, if so for...?? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) Would it be possible to expand further on his flying before he got shot down? (Boy is this a short-lived hero - he only lasts two and a half months - and what was it - 52 sorties?)
 * Fair enough, will do what I can. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Done. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) "Federal government announced on 13 October that the relatives of the slain man had been informed of his death." Well, yes, but only on the day before!
 * Pretty sure Gillison, my source on that, doesn't mention 'just the day before' but will look again. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Done (the penny's dropped, I realise now I said 13th when I meant the 12th - dopey Ian...!). Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course, I was working from his RAAF personnel file Smiley.svg
 * 1) Why not mention that Lyons body was also recovered?
 * Well, the article's about Newton but fair enough... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk)
 * 1) Or that Newton's body was not recovered until December 1943?
 * I'd said it wasn't till the area was recaptured by the Allies but you're right, should have a date. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Oops, my mistake. It was discovered in October and recovered in December. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:44, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Your article seems to imply that Newton was executed by the Kempitai, which you know to be untrue. (I can't find the bit where it says they interrogated him? Can you point me to this? )
 * First of all, I don't think what's there implies that at all, it mentions them interrogating him, and then the guy who captured him executing him. However, that said, I think the Kempitai reference may be a furphy. It was part of the original stub that I rewrote and I left it there when I saw Stephens' account (cited) mention the Koman Tai, which I took to be a corruption of Kempitai - but perhaps I was too hasty there... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Removed ref to Kempitai. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) How about more details on Lyons?
 * Relates to my earlier answer but happy to add a bit on him to round things out. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Why not mention the names of the Japanese sailors involved?
 * I may have that somewhere... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) I was wondering about the GHQ clue myself until I looked it up.
 * You have me at a loss here... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Like the bit above, when I said "the article implies" what I really meant was "the dopey reviewer inferred but knows better now that he has checked." (The ADB does this to me all the time. It's full of hair-splitting phrases that make it tough to paraphrase unless you check against the sources, and if you do that, what use was the ADB?)
 * Anyway, I read through "Blood Carnival" and understand what was meant better now. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:44, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Why not mention his militia unit (6th Infantry battalion)?
 * Hadn't seen this in my sources but happy to re-check... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) You could also mention that he went to St Kilda Park Central School before Melbourne Grammar Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:44, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Nice pix
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: Pass
 * Tks mate, I had another snippet to add to the article that didn't actually relate to any comments above so was going to respond then but no matter - appreciate you taking the time to review. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:42, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Nice pix
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: Pass
 * Tks mate, I had another snippet to add to the article that didn't actually relate to any comments above so was going to respond then but no matter - appreciate you taking the time to review. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:42, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Tks mate, I had another snippet to add to the article that didn't actually relate to any comments above so was going to respond then but no matter - appreciate you taking the time to review. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:42, 11 March 2009 (UTC)