Talk:Bionicle/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 16:19, 15 December 2009 (UTC)

I shall be reviewing this page against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Checking against GA criteria

 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose):
 * The article is very poorly written, with poor grammar. Nearly every sentence contains these faults. Please enlist the aid of a copy-editor who understands how to write good clear English; it needs to be clear, correct, concise, comprehensible, and consistent. You may get help at WP:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors. The story section is too long, there is no information on reviews of the product, sales or product development. The controversy section is mainly a list of bullet points. Please read WP:MoS.
 * I can fix the grammar (though it would take some time). I'm guessing by "story section is too long", you mean I should add more of the others, right? As for the controversy section, should I remove all those language things and only include one or two in a sentence?-- Twilight  Helryx  01:32, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *No - I meant that the story section is too long. What we need is product description, product development, etc.
 * 2) *My thoughts exactly. ;) But I hope this doesn't mean we have to chop it down because those info are important; they're what sets Bionicle apart from the other Lego sets.-- Twilight  Helryx  14:25, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Comment Ill be more than happy to help out with the grammar and spelling. (My spelling on-wiki is very bad but in real life I am a very good speller. I guess im not all that good at typeing)-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  23:11, 28 December 2009 (UTC)
 * b (MoS):
 * The lead should summarise the article. Please read WP:LEAD for pointers. At present it just contains information that should be in a background section. The article would also benefit from the addition of an infobox.
 * 1) * ✅ I think. I've added the story info in and someone else has added the infobox. Should I also put the Maori language controversy info in?-- Twilight  Helryx  20:18, 28 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Please re-read WP:LEAD. The lead should summarise the whole article, in the manner of an executive summary.
 * 1) *Will do.-- Twilight  Helryx  14:25, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references):
 * The only third party WP:reliable sources are at the beginning of the Maori controversy section. The rest are WP:primary sources.   Such sources may be used but not as the majority of sourcing for the article.
 * ✅:Chopped the section down to size and sourced the "Naming Day" info.-- Twilight  Helryx  20:18, 28 December 2009 (UTC)
 * b (citations to reliable sources):
 * Three refs as per above are RS. The Bionicle blog, ref #2 is a fan blog, largely reproducing material from official sites in contravention of copyright.
 * ✅ Removed source.-- Twilight  Helryx  02:14, 18 December 2009 (UTC)
 * c (OR):
 * WP:OR appears evident in the Controversy section.
 * ✅: Fixed per above.-- Twilight  Helryx  20:18, 28 December 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) It is broad in its scope.
 * a (major aspects):
 * Missing reviews of the product, sales or product development, as per above
 * It's kind of hard to an official review but I'll try. I have no idea where to find sales figures. As for product development, an interview with staff I've seen a few years ago is gone now and the place where I can find a history is on Biosector01 and the Bionicle Wiki, neither of which can be approved as reliable sources because they're both wikis. And unfortunately, the contributors don't leave any citations. Do you have any suggestions for me? Or can I just get away with just the reception part?-- Twilight  Helryx  01:32, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *You need to go out and look for information. I found these articles using a five second search on Google., , , , , there are many more sources out there, you need to go out and look for them.  You need to be prepared to undertake some hard work.
 * Oh, *facepalm* Of course! I've been using the wrong keywords! >_< Anyway, thank you very much; I'll do some careful research whenever I'm able to, though I would appreciate some help from other users.-- Twilight  Helryx  14:25, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
 * I would be more than happy to do this. But where should I put the reviews in the article? Shouold I make a new section?-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  15:15, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes. Same goes for Production which I will do in a moment.-- Twilight  Helryx  15:19, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Ok. Well I cant really domuch untill later tonight. (My day is very full today)-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  15:29, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) ✅Added all the requested info in.-- Twilight  Helryx  03:31, 2 January 2010 (UTC)
 * b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
 * b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * I am inclined to fail this immediately, but if these issues can be addressed in seven days the article may be worthy of GA. At present it is clearly not. On hold for seven days. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:16, 15 December 2009 (UTC)
 * I have received a further request to extend the hold to the end of January which would make it six weeks. I feel that this is really too long. I was happy to allow two weeks over the Christmas holiday period but six weeks is too long. As a consequence I will not be listing it at this time. I recommend that you get the article copy-edited, reduce the Story section and provide information on Reception. When that is done you can re-nominate it at WP:GAN. I would also suggest that you read the archived peer review and the FAC reviews as many points in these still remain un-addressed. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:31, 1 January 2010 (UTC)
 * b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * I am inclined to fail this immediately, but if these issues can be addressed in seven days the article may be worthy of GA. At present it is clearly not. On hold for seven days. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:16, 15 December 2009 (UTC)
 * I have received a further request to extend the hold to the end of January which would make it six weeks. I feel that this is really too long. I was happy to allow two weeks over the Christmas holiday period but six weeks is too long. As a consequence I will not be listing it at this time. I recommend that you get the article copy-edited, reduce the Story section and provide information on Reception. When that is done you can re-nominate it at WP:GAN. I would also suggest that you read the archived peer review and the FAC reviews as many points in these still remain un-addressed. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:31, 1 January 2010 (UTC)
 * I am inclined to fail this immediately, but if these issues can be addressed in seven days the article may be worthy of GA. At present it is clearly not. On hold for seven days. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:16, 15 December 2009 (UTC)
 * I have received a further request to extend the hold to the end of January which would make it six weeks. I feel that this is really too long. I was happy to allow two weeks over the Christmas holiday period but six weeks is too long. As a consequence I will not be listing it at this time. I recommend that you get the article copy-edited, reduce the Story section and provide information on Reception. When that is done you can re-nominate it at WP:GAN. I would also suggest that you read the archived peer review and the FAC reviews as many points in these still remain un-addressed. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:31, 1 January 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for your time. I have one favor to ask. I will not be able to edit on Wikipedia until Chritmas and many of these issues could be easily resolved, so could you not fail it after the seven days have passed? Cheers, Twilight   Helryx  20:43, 16 December 2009 (UTC)
 * I am happy to extend the hold until 2 January 2010. Let me know if you have sorted things before then. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:37, 16 December 2009 (UTC)
 * I know this is very late and I apologize, but I would like to say that I will (and have already) be putting questions, comments, and templates in your list.-- Twilight   Helryx  00:33, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Ill be happy to help with any task that you guys give me. (So long as I get credit...no that sounds greedy, nevermind)-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk 17:02, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
 * If you've helped, there's a user box for GA's. Just look on User:AnmaFinotera's page. ;) Alright, back to work. =P -- Twilight  Helryx  18:52, 25 December 2009 (UTC)