Talk:Bitches brauchen Rap/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sebbirrrr (talk · contribs) 07:27, 1 June 2022 (UTC)

Hi there. I'll be reviewing this article as part of the current backlog drive.

Infobox and lead

 * Add alt text for the cover art
 * Ghana Beats should go after Geenaro
 * "also referred to as simply BBR" → "also abbreviated as BBR"
 * "a delay of the record's original release date" → "a delay of the record"
 * "old-school rap* → link all three words to Old-school hip hop
 * "Commercially, the album was successful, reaching..." → "The album was commercially successful, reaching..."
 * "on the German singles chart; "Ich darf das" was certified gold by the country's Bundesverband Musikindustrie (BVMI)." → "on the German singles chart, while "Ich darf das" was certified gold by the Bundesverband Musikindustrie (BVMI)."

Background and creation

 * "which among others" → what does this refer to?
 * Wasn't needed to begin with


 * "became the first number-one by a German female rapper on the German albums chart" → "became the first album by a German female rapper to top the German albums chart"
 * "a circa 12-track project that was intended to be the follow-up to Supersize" → "a project that included around 12 tracks which was intended to be the follow-up to Supersize"
 * "already been released[6])," → move the ref after the comma
 * "began work" → "began working"
 * "and Bozza, Geenaro, Shindy and Kitty Kat also contributed on selected tracks." → "while Bozza, Geenaro, Shindy and Kitty Kat also contributed on selected tracks."
 * "developing ideas and demos which she then brought" → for clarification purposes, what ideas did she bring to the studio?
 * Just general ones like ideas for a melody, for a line etc. I think this is clear to the reader.


 * "(pictured in 2013)" → for consistency, I recommend removing the year as it's the only image which has the year included
 * "one of the main collaborators" → "was one of the main collaborators"

Title and release

 * The refs don't show the release date for the box sets
 * The lower amount of money should come first
 * "and CD of the album; one box" → start a new sentence instead of using a comma splice
 * "German singles chart.[11][25][26][27]" → spread the references throughout the sentences per WP:CITEKILL
 * "and described as" → is this about the cover or David?
 * About the way she looks on the cover; reworded in hopes that it sounds better now.

Music and lyrics

 * "old-school rap* → link all three words to Old-school hip hop
 * "as well as touches on politics" → "as well as politics"
 * "and pun usage.[4][5][14][34]" → WP:CITEKILL
 * "her real name" → "her full name"
 * "as a Barbie doll" → "as a Barbie (logo pictured) doll"

Songs

 * Link the singles to their German wikipedia pages for consistency
 * "in the society" → "in society"
 * "listlessness" could be replaced with a more common word
 * Could you name one?
 * does indifference sound good to you?


 * "with David's sister Patricia" → you've already mentioned her sister's name so it doesn't seem worth mentioning anymore
 * "Leier Mirco" → "Mirco Leier"
 * "including to reject several feature offers" → "such as rejecting several feature offers"
 * "allegedly received" ref 37 claims that David confirmed receiving them
 * Fair enough. I reworded.


 * "The song features Shindy" → link Shindy
 * "for David; observers regard it" → "for David, with observers regarding it"
 * "and the song was inspired" → "which was inspired"
 * Not doing this because this could be misleading to the reader; not her singing but the song was inspired by that thing.
 * it reads a bit awkward, if "David predominantly sings on" isn't relevant I suggest removing it instead


 * "featuring Kitty Kat" → link Kitty Kat
 * "as part of the group Aggro Berlin" → Aggro Berlin is a record label though
 * It is both the label and the group (even though the article isn't that cleaned up, I have to admit).


 * "her male physical education teacher.[2][8][14][31]" → de-link physican education and WP:CITEKILL
 * "and the feud with Shindy.[2][5][28][45]" → WP:CITEKILL

Critical reception

 * Since this article uses British English, "criticize" and its derivations should be spelled as "criticise"
 * "as well as hailed it" → "further hailing it"
 * "a place for female artists.[2][4][5][8][30][46]" → WP:CITEKILL
 * "as well as commended" → "also commending"
 * "Schmid critiqued" → "Schmid was critical"
 * Is the album's name Das schwarze Album (The Black Album), or is "The Black Album" the English translation?
 * The first option.


 * "was not fitting" → "did not fit"
 * "all the genres it explored" → is "it" the album or the voice?
 * The album.


 * Add a period instead of a comma splice after "explored" to start a new sentence

Singles and commercial performance

 * Add a period instead of a comma splice after "December 2020" to start a new sentence
 * The ref for the Swiss positions doesn't show that the singles peaked within the top 20
 * Fixed.


 * "the premiere of the album" → "the album's premiere"
 * "On the weekend" → "In the weekend"
 * "amassed 11.4 million streams (over 110 million if combined with all the previously released singles)" → "amassed 11.4 million streams (over 110 million if combined with all the previously released singles) on Spotify"
 * "album worldwide on Spotify" → "album worldwide on the platform"
 * "industry professionals had previously opined" → the source does not state that industry professionals opined this though
 * Fixed.


 * "David also charted at numbers three and four" → "The album also charted at numbers three and four"

Track listing

 * The wiki link on Laas Unltd. doesn't work

Charts

 * De-link GfK Entertainment charts for German Hip Hop Albums

Release history

 * The refs don't show the release date for the box sets

Outcome

 * for 7 days until all issues are fixed! Sebbirrrr (talk) 10:07, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for your review! Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:57, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:47, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
 * @Cartoon network freak thanks! Everything is good now so I'm Sebbirrrr (talk) 20:55, 1 June 2022 (UTC)