Talk:Blind (SZA song)/Archive 1

Wiki Education assignment: Online Communities
— Assignment last updated by Jessiej12 (talk) 00:05, 8 February 2023 (UTC)

WikiEdu
Hello, @User:Adrifaye, and welcome to Wikipedia! I am glad you have decided to contribute to Wikipedia, and as a huge fan of SZA myself I am especially glad you have chosen the article for "Blind" to edit for your course! Regarding your recent edits to the mainspace, I have a couple comments that you can use to improve the article:


 * You don't have to spell out SZA's real name in the lead. Most song articles only do this in the infobox, or that box on the right side of the screen - specifically in the songwriters section, as artists are credited as songwriters by their real names. For the rest of the article body, just stick to the stage name she uses. Same goes for Yuli.
 * Album titles like Ctrl and SOS, as well as magazine names like Billboard, are italicized.
 * There are some parts of your writing that are redundant. For example - "Fans waited 5 years for another album." The release years for Ctrl and SOS are already given elsewhere in the article, so this is unnecessary.
 * The background section goes into an unnecessary tangent about Ctrl, when really, the article should strictly focus on the topic in question. One of your peers, Jessiej12, pointed this out in their review. As much as possible, keep discussion about her debut album to a minimum; a brief history and overview of the album is enough. "and even listed to Ctrl so many times that it landed the number one spot on the Billboard's Top R&B album again in 2022" must be removed.
 * Other parts of the article, meanwhile, use puffery language. For example, "The lyrics were so highly appreciated by the public that it resulted in 'Blind' landing a spot on both the US Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard Global 200." Please rewrite these sentences in a more neutral manner in compliance with Wikipedia policy. See this guideline to help you with rewriting. You may turn to articles I've written about SZA, such as Smoking on My Ex Pack, for reference on how to summarize critical reception neutrally.

Those are the main points I have regarding your edits. If you need me to explain some of these points in more detail to help you improve the article, please ping me by typing "" at the start of your message. Thank you, and happy editing! ‍ ‍ Elias 🌊 ‍  ‍ 💬 "Will you call me?" 📝 "Will you hang me out to dry?" 04:08, 11 February 2023 (UTC)

To use for reviews

 * https://gigwise.com/reviews/3428175/album-review-sza-sos
 * https://www.news24.com/channel/music/news/review-szas-sos-is-a-confident-and-triumphant-return-20221220
 * https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/review-sza-sos-review-1234642441/
 * https://beatsperminute.com/album-review-sza-sos/
 * https://variety.com/2022/music/album-reviews/sza-sos-album-review-1235455868/
 * https://americansongwriter.com/top-10-sza-songs/
 * https://consequence.net/2022/12/sos-album-review-sza/2/

Note to self - much of the praise here focuses on the track's vulnerable lyrics ‍ ‍ Elias 🌊 ‍  ‍ 💬 "Will you call me?" 📝 "Will you hang me out to dry?" 23:14, 5 February 2023 (UTC)