Talk:Blind Man's Zoo/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

I will take this on for review, as it would be appropriate for me to get the article into GA status potentially because I conducted the first review; I will use that one here to help me somewhat! --K. Peake 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * "of the lead singer" → "of the band's lead singer" and this is a change you did not fully implement from the previous review
 * Oh, I guess I did. Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ""Eat for Two" charted" → "The former of the two charted" to avoid starting two sentences in a row with the song's title
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Another update: I made changes to the singles info to reflect the changes in the body. --George Ho (talk) 20:25, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Update the overview of the album's reviews to mixed like it is in the body; this is one of the parts of the lead that has changed since the previous review
 * I changed "mixed to positive" → "mixed". I don't know whether that would suffice. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "number 13 in the" → "number 13 on the"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "in the UK Albums Chart. It also was certified platinum in December 1997" → "on the UK Albums Chart, and was certified platinum in the US by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." and this should be the end of the sentence because otherwise it will be too long, plus you can't start two consecutive sentences with "it".
 * I rearranged the sentences especially by separating the US and the UK into their respective sentences. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Nice start, but I did some moderate copyediting to completely fix this part. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Background and development

 * "lacked commercial success," → "had lacked commercial success," because this info is directly following info about the band at the time of the album's release
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "under the band's own record label" → "under their own record label" with the wikilink; another change I requested that was not done, it was suggested to avoid stating "the band" twice in the same sentence
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "second studio album," → "second studio album"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "after they signed contract" → "after they signed a contract" you forgot to add the word "a", which is required for correct grammar
 * I guess I did, eh? Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "The album production occurred" → "The album's production occurred"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Target mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Target Right Track Studios to MSR Studios
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Themes and lyrics

 * "Numerous songs on the album" → "Numerous songs on Blind Man's Zoo" and it looks like you forgot to add the title here from the previous review; that is needed because it's the start of a new section
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "The album's second track," → "Blind Man's Zoo's second track," even though the current wording was a change implemented, "the album" has since been added to prose more recently than its title hence this suggestion
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "concerns the US interventions in Central America," → "concerns the United States interventions in Central America," since that is the first time in the body that the country is mentioned
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "The third track "The Big Parade" references" → "The third track, "The Big Parade", references"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "in Washington, D.C. and" → "in Washington, D.C., and"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "was a ballad" → "is a ballad" with the target
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * [5][8][1] should be put in numerical order
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Target music critic to Music journalism
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Target colonization of Africa to Colonisation of Africa
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "and about a racist who" → "and a racist who"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "boy kissing shamelessly."" → "boy kissing shamelessly"."
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Very good to see you have responded up to here in a short amount of time; do you think all the issues will be fixed today? --K. Peake 10:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Release and promotion

 * "and May 15, 1989 in the UK." → "and May 15 in the United Kingdom."
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Remove wikilink on "Trouble Me"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * You have not sourced the release dates of the track and the other two singles; add that here
 * I couldn't find a reliable source verifying release dates of the singles, so I rewrote the sentence instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * You need to remove the commas from inside the speech marks of the song titles like I suggested
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "were released in a" → "were included on the" and this is another suggestion from the previous review you missed
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Target VHS album to video album per MOS:LINK2SECT, not the article and the section's hashtag
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "are included in its" → "were released on its"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "was met with mixed reviews." → "was met with mixed reviews from music critics."
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Shouldn't the section be ordered in terms of going from most positive to most negative reviews since the reception is classified as mixed?
 * I moved Anthony DeCurtis's review/statement into "Themes and lyrics" section; I haven't seen it as either positive, mixed, or negative. Nonetheless, I was able to restructure the sentences and to split paragraphs into one positive, one mixed possibly, and one negative. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * This is a better placement for sure, but I changed "the album" to "it" for avoiding writing the former too much. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * AllMusic should not be italicised, but at least you edited the prose for this part per my suggestion
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" → "The Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" with the wikilink, props for finding the author by now however!
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "powerful lyricism [on] the" → "powerful lyricism" on "the" since there is a gap inbetween the parts before and after [on] that is not represented
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "theme of betrayal."" → "theme of betrayal"."
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * "on July 11, 1989 and then platinum for shipment of" → "on July 11, 1989, and later received a platinum certification for shipments of"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "on December 12, 1997 by the Recording Industry Association of America," → "on December 12, 1997, both of which were awarded by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)," since otherwise it does not sound clear that RIAA awarded the gold certification
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "achieve the certification." → "achieve the latter certification."
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "The album was certified" → "Blind Man's Zoo was certified"
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Add BPI in brackets for British Phonographic Industry
 * I used parentheses instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I did mean to put (BPI) after the full name, so you are correct. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "on the Hot 100" → "on the Billboard Hot 100" because that is the proper name of the chart
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Source: CD album booklet → Credits are adapted from the album's booklet.
 * Yes check.svg Done . --George Ho (talk) 10:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The sentence on the line below this one should be a different sentence on the same line, with the ref coming after both of them
 * I converted the  parameter into manually written sentence. Please let me know if you want further changes. --George Ho (talk) 10:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The sentence is fine, but shouldn't the ref solely be at the end of the line since it is the only one? --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Personnel

 * Add "Credits are adapted from the album's booklet." at the top of this section, making that the sole place where [2] is invoked
 * ("Trouble Me") → (track 4)

Charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * You're off to a good start, though the caption should be something like "Weekly chart performance for Blind Man's Zoo". --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done per above suggestion. --George Ho (talk) 19:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The charts should be alphabetically ordered
 * Yes check.svg Done . George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * for a week until the issues are fixed, but the article is a lot better from when I reviewed it the first time; props for your progress, and hopefully you can get everything done in less than a week! --K. Peake 09:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ for this article even though I did some brief copy editing where you missed only a few points, amazing improvement on the response from last time! --K. Peake 21:17, 12 January 2021 (UTC)