Talk:Blood Sweat & Tears (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 05:34, 4 September 2020 (UTC)

Shortly after my last review of one of your articles, another is incoming. --K. Peake 05:34, 4 September 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Cover art needs alt text
 * Should the B-sides be referenced in the infobox?
 * I don't think so, since B-sides are exclusively for the japanese version.


 * Shouldn't the Korean and Japanese versions of the title be in bold?
 * Are you sure wikilink is needed on boy band or is it too obvious?
 * "the band's second studio album Wings (2016) by" → "the band's second studio album, Wings (2016), by"
 * "on May 10, 2017 through" → "on May 10, 2017, through"
 * "that included" → "that included the"
 * "Musically, "Blood Sweat & Tears" is a" → "It is a"
 * I don't think the current wording is awkward.
 * The term "musically" is not used in the leads of music articles and is mostly reserved for the body since it gives too much detail for a lead; remove it plus you do not need to reinstate the title in this para. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "The track's lyrics address" → "The lyrics of the song address"
 * same as above.
 * Change to "The song's lyrics address" then, for consistency. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "refreshing sound and the band's vocal delivery." → "the refreshing sound and BTS' vocal delivery."
 * "It was also likened" → ""Blood Sweat & Tears" was also likened"
 * "It earned a nominated for the" → "It was nominated for"
 * "appeared on the decade-end lists of" → "appeared on the decade-end lists of the best K-pop songs by"
 * "Commercially, the Korean version of "Blood Sweat & Tears" debuted at number one on the" → "Commercially, the Korean version of the song debuted at number on South Korea's"
 * "the band's first number-one song" → "the band's first number one"
 * "the single has sold over" → "the song has sold over"
 * "debuted and peaked at number one" → "peaked at number one"
 * "for shipments over 250,000 copies." → "for shipments of 250,000 copies in the country."
 * "were filmed for the single," → "were filmed for "Blood Sweat & Tears","
 * "and one for the Japanese version" → "and another for the Japanese version"
 * "and premiered on Big Hit's" → "and premiered via Big Hit's"
 * "Hermann Hesse's coming of age novel Demian (1991)," → "Hermann Hesse's coming of age novel, Demian (1991),"
 * "depicts the band exploring" → "depicts BTS exploring"
 * After this line, should I add that the video was awarded Best Music Video at the 2017 Seoul Music Awards?
 * Yeah, that's a really good catch! --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ Everything else
 * "The second video featuring" → "The second video, featuring"
 * "was uploaded to Universal Music Japan's" → "was uploaded to Universal Japan's"

Background and release

 * "series which presented the theme" → "series, which presented the theme"
 * Remove wikilink on BTS
 * "studio album," → "studio album"
 * The sentence's info is not properly backed up by [1]
 * added another ref. to support the claim.


 * "to be a part of Wings, when" → "to be included on Wings when"
 * "On October 7 of that year, it was" → "On October 7, 2016, the song was"
 * first single → lead single, with the appropriate wikilink because that is the preferred terminology on WP
 * "It was engineered by Pdogg," → ""Blood Sweat & Tears" was engineered by the producer,"
 * kept it as "it was" instead of "Blood Sweat & Tears" since the starting line of the next paragraph begins with the song's title.
 * Are you sure this should be done, since you stated "it" most recently before this; maybe even change to "The track was..."? --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on lead single
 * "was recorded and issued" → "was recorded, and issued" since elsewise, it sounds like the song was recorded that same date
 * "previously released Korean singles" → "previously released 2016 Korean singles," with the appropriate target
 * "It was also released" → "The song was also released"
 * "different limited editions:" → "different limited editions;"
 * "as A-side and" → "as the A-side and" with the target
 * Remove target on B-side
 * "is present exclusively on" → "is included exclusively on"
 * "containing the music videos for" → "that contains the music videos for both" with the wikilink
 * "with a DVD that contains" → "with a DVD, which contains"
 * "Japanese version of "Blood, Sweat & Tears" and" → "Japanese version of the song and"
 * Is it supposed to be "making of album" or "making of the album"?
 * changed to the latter.

✅ all
 * KM-MARKIT should be in all caps
 * "on the band's third Japanese-language studio album," → "on BTS' third Japanese-language studio album"

Music and lyrics
✅ all
 * "of " Blood Sweat & Tears ", a moombahton, trap and tropical house song, in" → "to "Blood Sweat & Tears", in" on the audio sample text
 * "compared to the styles" → "compared to the musical styles"
 * [6][15][16][17][18][19] should be invoked when appropriate on the text and not all crammed together; that is too many refs to be next to each other
 * Target hip hop to Hip hop music
 * "The song is influenced by" → "The song takes influence from"
 * "synthesizer and Caribbean drums." → "synthesizer, and Caribbean drums." with the target
 * "production consisting of" → "production that consists of"
 * "beats, "airy synths"," → "beats," "airy synths,""
 * Target The Singles Jukebox to Stylus Magazine
 * "in the composition" → "in the song's composition"
 * Target verses to Verse (music)
 * "beats" and use" → "beats," and use"
 * "cascading chimes and" → "cascading chimes, as well as"
 * "crooning"." → "crooning.""
 * ""feathery coos"," → ""feathery coos,""
 * "and at-times" → "and at-times,"
 * ""circuitous" where they chant" → ""circuitous," in which they chant,"
 * "and the meaning of the song" → "and meaning behind the song"
 * "RM stated" → "RM stated:"
 * The song's title should be in ' per MOS:QWQ
 * "Suga also added that" → "Suga added that"
 * "address themes" → "address the themes"

Critical reception
✅ all
 * "received generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
 * Target pop to Pop music
 * "global music scene." → "global music scene.""
 * "also of Billboard," → "in a separate Billboard review,"
 * "notes" adding that" → "notes," adding that"
 * "commended the single for its" → "commended the song for its"
 * ""wouldn’t sound" → ""wouldn't sound"
 * "and "synth"-based" → "and synth-based" since the speech marks and dash read awkwardly, plus synth is encyclopedic
 * "sound and musical direction" → "sound and musical direction in a way"
 * "They further wrote that" → "They elaborated, writing:"
 * Wikilink Dazed instead of the target
 * "vocal delivery writing that" → "vocal delivery, writing that"
 * "the lyrics’" → "the lyrics'"
 * "opined that "the theme" → "observed "the theme"
 * "their previous works."" → "their previous works" with the song."
 * ""addictive" which captured" → ""addictive," which captured"

Accolades

 * "as one of the best" → "as one of the 20 best" since it is too vague currently
 * "The former ranked it" → "The aforementioned publications ranked it at"
 * Kept it as "the former" since Billboard ranked it 7 and 16 on two separate lists and not Dazed.
 * My bad, thanks for the clarification haha! --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "and number 16, respectively, on their lists of the 100 best K-pop songs of 2010s and the 100 greatest boy band songs of all time." → "and number 16 on their lists of the 100 best K-pop songs of 2010s and 100 greatest boy band songs of all time, respectively."
 * "placed it on their" → "placed the song on their"
 * "On behalf of the publication, Glasby" → "On behalf of the magazine, Glasby" though is it definitely the same Taylor Glasby as the other one mentioned?
 * yes, same Glasby.
 * Was making sure; that's fine then. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ all
 * The ref from the table should be invoked after the Mnet mention as well as in its current area
 * Move the music video mention to the section that is titled that; do the same for the video awards in the table
 * "The song also achieved" → "The song achieved"
 * Target should solely be on "weekly music programs" instead
 * "of six awards including" → "of six awards, including"
 * "due to its substantial success" → "due to being a substantial success"
 * The cols below the header of the table should not be centered
 * All refs should be centered in both tables
 * I did say to move the music video awards to the most relevant section, though [37][38] should be in separate cols in the new order since one is for the nominee and the other is for the winner

Commercial performance

 * "first domestic number-one" → "first domestic number one"
 * "of the October 2016 issue of" → "in October 2016 on"
 * changed "of the October" to "for the October", I don't think this is reading weird.
 * In its current state it isn't reading weird, though was initially. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)
 * reworded accordingly.


 * "Gaon Monthly Digital Chart based on" → "Gaon Monthly Digital Chart, based on"
 * ""Blood Sweat & Tears" has sold over" → "the song has sold over"
 * "In addition, the song peaked at" → "The song peaked at"
 * "becoming their second number one following" → "becoming the band's second chart topper, following on from"
 * "BTS became the third Korean act to chart on the Canadian Hot 100, peaking at number 86," → "the song led to BTS becoming the third Korean act to chart on the Canadian Hot 100 by peaking at number 86,"
 * "it topped the" → "the song topped the"
 * Kept it as "it" since we are taking of the "single" here and not the "song".
 * Maybe write "the single album" since you write "its" as the next reference after this in the same sentence? --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "second number-one single" → "second number one single" though [58] does not back up this claim
 * added a suitable ref. to support the claim.
 * That's cute, but remove the dash since that is not used for separation in this context. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "The single sold" → "The song sold"
 * We are talking about the "single" here and not the song.
 * "The single album" sold is more appropriate, then. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "It sold 273,000 copies in the month of May 2017," → "In May 2017, the song sold 273,000 copies,"
 * kept the "it" to avoid repetition of "single" / "single album" per above.
 * Probably just change to "the single" to avoid repetition of "the single album". --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ everything else
 * "than their previous" → "than the band's previous"
 * "it was the" → "the former ranked as the"
 * "in the country." → "in Japan."
 * "the first being their" → "the first being BTS'"
 * Target "Mic Drop" and "DNA" to their song wikis
 * "It additionally charted at" → ""Blood Sweat & Tears" additionally charted at"
 * "on the issue date of" → "for the issue dated"
 * "which was the highest debut..." number one has to be the highest debut if it is marked as one, so remove this bit
 * "received platinum certification from the" → "was certified platinum by the"
 * "of 250,000 copies." → "of 250,000 copies in Japan."

Music videos

 * "The music video for "Blood Sweat & Tears" premiered on" → "An accompanying music video was released to"
 * "by a teaser released on" → "by a teaser, which was released via"
 * "and Quick Style Crew under" → "and Quick Style Crew, under"
 * "was credited as the" → "received credit as the"
 * "GyeungSeok Kim served as the gaffer and MoonYoung Lee as the art director." → "GyeungSeok Kim and MoonYoung Lee served as the gaffer and art director, respectively."
 * "long visual is heavy with" → "long visual heavily contains"
 * "symbolism and explores the concepts" → "symbolism, and explores the concepts"
 * "Scene showing seven members" → "A scene showing the seven members of BTS" if that is correct, on the img main text I mean here
 * [66][6][68] should be put in numerical order
 * "The video opens with the seven members" → "The music video opens with the seven members of BTS"
 * "which is filled with" → "that is filled with"
 * "to show the band" → "to showing the band"
 * "The clip alternates between close-up" → "Footage alternates between close-up"
 * "group-shots performing" → "group-shots to the performance of"
 * [66][15] put in numerical order
 * "In some scenes, they" → "In some scenes, BTS"
 * "blow smoke and jump to and" → "blow smoke, and jump to and"
 * "the members are seen" → "the band members are seen"
 * "or are confined by extravagant rooms having" → "or being confined by extravagant rooms that have"
 * Mention that Thus Spoke Zarathustra is a novel
 * ", and the paintings" → " and the paintings" since the comma is not needed here
 * Put the years of the paintings in brackets
 * "of emotions such as" → "of emotions, including"
 * "fallen Icarus, bears testimony" → "fallen Icarus bears testimony"
 * "a biblical story-line" → "a Biblical story-line" with the target
 * "by portraying members in" → "through portraying members in"
 * Target decadent to Decadence
 * "which reference to afterlife." → "which are in reference to afterlife."
 * "V is seen posing with his wings ripped off conveying," → "V poses with his wings ripped off to convey"
 * Fuse should not be italicised
 * "atmosphere of the video and" → "atmosphere of the music video, and"
 * Citation for Glasby is not invoked here?
 * invoked it now.

✅ all
 * "Herman of Billboard noted the" → "Herman noted the"
 * "ranked it number nine" → "ranked the visual at number nine"
 * [73] should be at the end of the sentence after [72]
 * "in their decade-end list" → "on their decade-end list"
 * "of 2010s," → "of the 2010s,"
 * "achieving over 6.3 million views" → "surpassing 6.3 million views"
 * "it garnered over 10 million views becoming" → "it had garnered over 10 million views on the platform and became"
 * Remove "at that time" since the "became" bit makes this relatively obvious
 * "It was the most-viewed" → "The visual was the most viewed"
 * "An accompanying music video for the" → "A music video for the"
 * "of "Blood Sweat & Tears", was uploaded to Universal Music Japan's" → "of "Blood Sweat & Tears" was uploaded to Universal Japan's"
 * "While it centers around art like the Korean version," → "While it is centered around art like the Korean version's video,"
 * "and references to the" → "and includes references to the"
 * "of those of BTS' previous 2015 singles "I Need U" and "Run"." → "of those for "I Need U" and "Run"."
 * Target psychedelic to Psychedelic drug
 * "it features a dark alternate" → "the music video features a dark alternate"
 * "in which the members" → "in which the band members"

Live performances

 * "and the album," → "and Wings,"
 * "first time on" → "first time during"
 * I don't think "during" is correct here.
 * This sentence does need altering though, since "on" is used two times too close. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)
 * wrote "for" instead.


 * "the group appeared on" → "the band appeared on"
 * "and Inkigayo where they also performed "Am I Wrong" and "21st Century Girl"." → "and Ikigayo, where they also performed "Blood Sweat & Tears"."
 * added the "," like last time but kept the original wording.
 * These songs are not backed up as being performed; I though this was a typo myself at first? --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)
 * added ref. to support the claim.

✅ all
 * "alongside their 2016 single "Fire" on" → "alongside "Fire" on"
 * "On December 2, 2016, the band performed the song" → "On December 2 of that year, the band performed the former"

Track listing

 * Retitle to Track listings as it is more than one
 * Should Limited Edition C have the full length listed?
 * I don't think so.
 * Alright --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ all

Credits and personnel
✅ all
 * Remove target on You Never Walk Alone
 * Pdogg should come directly after Kim Doohyon and switch the order of songwriting and production for him
 * KM-MARKIT should be in all caps instead

Weekly charts

 * UK Independent Singles → UK Independent Singles Chart (OCC) with the targets
 * US World Digital Songs (Billboard) → US World Digital Song Sales (Billboard)
 * Remove target on Japan Hot 100
 * Are you sure the Top Singles Sales chart is notable?
 * Should it not be included?
 * It seems not notable considering there are other Japan charts, like how UK Singles Chart would warrant no inclusion of UK Singles Download for example. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)
 * removed.

✅ all

Monthly charts

 * Good

Year-end charts
✅
 * The Korean version charts should come before the Japanese version for consistency

Certifications and sales
✅ all
 * Retitle to Certifications
 * Remove South Korea and USA since they are not certified
 * Invoke the ref that backs up the 310,276 sales

Release history

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * though I noticed throughout the review that your writing skills have improved despite them being good from the get-go, well done on a relatively noticeable improvement however! --K. Peake 21:06, 4 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, thank you again for reviewing another GAN for me, I am really grateful. I have addressed the concerns above except a few where I have left comments. Please let me know what you think. -- Ashley yoursmile!  16:07, 5 September 2020 (UTC)
 * It is a pleasure, I have replied to your comments above. --K. Peake 07:43, 6 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, even though you reviewed the entire article in a single day, it took me some time to address all comments this time. Poor network connectivity got me delayed here. I've fixed the ref. like you suggested. Thank you again. -- Ashley  yoursmile!  13:29, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
 * I have removed an overlink and will now ✅ this, though the delayed response does not irritate me. Always a pleasure to work with you! --K. Peake 16:07, 7 September 2020 (UTC)