Talk:Bloody Thursday (Bahrain)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Lihaas (talk · contribs) 10:28, 9 September 2012 (UTC)

also caveat, i had previously updated the main bahraini uprising when it first started but have barely touched it since (i believe that was before the nominator came to WP, or at least when he was new)

First off the bat:
 * Sources are Verifable and RS (though for Bahraini sources like the Mirror I would suggest adding te caveat as it could be pov in the polarised atmosphere.)
 * Bahrain Mirror is only used to support one line, but Al Wasat is more often used. It reported both opposition and government views and is used to cover both, so I don't feel it's necessarily to replace it.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:29, 9 September 2012 (UTC)
 * How about "according to..." Either name th eoutlet or "bahraini media"? Otherwise no probs here.
 * I've already added "according to" to the line supported by Bahrain Mirror. Al Wasat is used too often for this to be a good change. For instance look at this paragraph:

The Ministry of Interior announced that the gathering at Pearl Roundabout was illegal, and that it was only tolerated as a display of sympathy in the wake of recent events.[11] King Hamad visited the Bahrain Defence Force, where he met its Commander-in-Chief, Field Marshal Khalifa bin Ahmad, and other senior military leaders. Together they reviewed "the preparations undertaken by the Defence Force to protect the security of the homeland and to maintain the safety of citizens."[12]
 * Its two references are Al Wasat. Other examples of its use are citing witnesses or injured protesters/paramedics and there are no exceptional claims made that aren't covered by other sources. I've even mentioned that some injured protesters were interviewed by Al Wasat. The paper claims it is independent. CPJ and FT among others also name it as independent.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  09:23, 10 September 2012 (UTC)
 * No probs, i dont think eveyr instance would need that. But perhaps one mention...more importantly, what is the Mirror's stance?  just read first sentence in reple  See Marikana_miners%27_strike for varying accounts.
 * ✅. The section is now divided into three subsections: Eyewitness and journalist accounts, Health worker accounts and Government accounts.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:02, 11 September 2012 (UTC)


 * user has a history of being neutral in edits that could be decisive. Even of itself the page looks neutral. Doesnt accuse one side and citing as fact but gives due caveat such as "the government says..." I would add that the EL videos should indicate who the source of the video is. It also has a "govt account" which should automatically mean there is another account and should be labeled as such.
 * There is government account section because almost everyone (witnesses, journalists, doctors and opposition) was reporting something and the government was reporting something else, so I though it would be better to give it a separate section. I've modified the text of the first external video so that it indicates this was aired on Bahrain TV, the other video is of unknown YouTube account. I don't understand what you mean by giving due caveat, could you give more examples?  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:29, 9 September 2012 (UTC)
 * True, and i agree, i just feel it could be open to pov for UNDUE highlighting of 1 section. In regards, int should then say who mentions what and who made the video, which youve done mosly. However, the unknown account at Youtube is not RS then and like the egypt page it should be removed.
 * Which is the UK -based channel that was hacked by the govt from Bahrain? They could be used as RS.
 * ✅. Removed the second video.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  09:23, 10 September 2012 (UTC)


 * no tags (and since the user considers this his jewel (and is neutral) i believe those will be taken off pretty quick when answered)
 * no warring, page has also settled to few edits a month so its not current with large changes expected
 * Article seems re-written with cites, the main user tends to do this (which is a +_) Where needed quotes are given, however, certain phrases like "police who attacked him as "gang of thugs", determined to "clear that square, tonight, ahead of any protest on Friday" need to attribute whats in quotes. And also stuff like "...said" needs to be consistent in how the quote is introducesd/attributed.
 * ✅.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:29, 9 September 2012 (UTC)

In terms of organisation, the "naming" is too small a section, perhaps it can be a subsection of "background". Also a general overview for overlinking, etc would be nice. But the article is comng along nice. ENGVAR seems to be to the USA? Is this appropriate? Im not sure. Article seems focused enough for necessary details to the reader. Nominator can see Bloody Thursday this
 * ✅. Used British ENGVAR since the army is known as Bahrain Defence force and we also have Bahrain City Centre.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:29, 9 September 2012 (UTC)

Also a few sources in the infobox would help so for issues liek "victims" and "participants". One key ossue is the possible (and likely) pov of significance.) That needs to be retitles and due caveat given. Also EL is much too long.
 * ✅.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:52, 9 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Some sources in infobox for "Number of participants", need a copyedit there too. Attack type is "raid" time is a consequence not a type. "Target" source? and 24-hr time clock doesnt need "am".(Lihaas (talk) 11:58, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).

Also couple of refs seem off. Also, disamb is not orking on my comp bu t try thistoo
 * ✅. I've added a to NYT references. Other than that I don't see any problems with refs and there are no disambiguation pages.  Mohamed CJ   (talk)  09:23, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

comment Article is coming along nice, changes being made promptly. Im going to give it a quick overview piece-by-piece, then ill post here if there are issues before approving. (perhaps in a day or 2 it should be okey, if those are met)Lihaas (talk) 10:28, 10 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Article needs a copy edit: eg: "demanding release of detained protesters" is in the first section which is missing the word "the". Could be more.
 * Fixed this one. I'll look to see if there are more, but generally I don't think I'll find a lot since this article was copy edited by ‎Malleus Fatuorum.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  13:35, 17 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Done now.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:37, 21 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Done now.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:37, 21 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Also see for overlinking (i just removed 1, twice)
 * I'm done with overlinking already (see above); I left this one on purpose.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:37, 21 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I'm done with overlinking already (see above); I left this one on purpose.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:37, 21 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Refs need to be consistent. (which is key on FA) Eg- in naming section, one ref uses format with the article/url tags and one is wholly written out.
 * Ah. This one was recently added, fixed.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  13:35, 17 September 2012 (UTC)
 * It may not be just one though. Quite simple to corrent. Remove curret to bare URL and use reflinks.Lihaas (talk) 01:28, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * First time I know about this reflinks application. Anyway, there were two more refs fixed.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:09, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I've fixed the non-consistent refs manually.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:37, 21 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I've fixed the non-consistent refs manually.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  12:37, 21 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Also in "pre-dawn raid" section perhaps move some images around. Is there an imge of Salmaniyya? We could add that in the section. Good pics, but a little clustered. + the captions in quotes need to be explained if needed, though i think prose on its own would suffic. I just changed "pre dawn raid" to "Reaid" as there was only one. I also removed the redundant mention of "am".
 * There is an image for a protest in Salmaniya hospital in the "Salmaniya hospital" subsection. There were images for the hospital it self, but they were removed from Commons due to "Freedom of Panorama" non-applicable in Bahrain. I think we'll lucky that a resident of Abraj Al Lulu donated all those images.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  13:35, 17 September 2012 (UTC)
 * That's cool. It would be nice to right./left align and sprean images though.Lihaas (talk) 01:28, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I've changed some captions. I like the current alignment of images and find it fine. Do you have specific suggestion(s)?  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:09, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * The images are goo, b ut a little cluttered, esp. in "aftermath". Try moving the alignment of something.
 * Also some of the caption dont attribute the qutes. We dint need quoted to just a media souce, if someone notable said so then it would be okey with the attribution. (eg- the salmaniiya protests caption)(Lihaas (talk) 11:58, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).
 * Fixed the caption and removed one image from "Aftermath" section.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  06:03, 20 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Also the refs to the B ICI report with page numbers should be in the ref instead of listing the page number as a superscript. For second uses of the ref you dont need to put the whole link.
 * The RP template (which you refer to) is "a solution for the problem of an article with a source that must be cited many, many times, at numerous different pages. It is an alternative to the more common method of using shortened footnotes, that does not require the reader to follow two links to see the source." BICI report is cited 27 times mostly for different page numbers.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  13:35, 17 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I was only suggesting that, but the seemingling random number attachsed as superscript is unusual and without reason for understanding. It confusedme too, till i saw the refs.Lihaas (talk) 01:28, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I don't think we have a better option. Making the report one reference where all pages are listed will make it very hard to verify information and on the other if every set of pages are given a separate reference we might have up to 15 redundant references. I'm not sure if shortened footnotes is applicable in this situation (never used it) as we have web references.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:09, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * You dont need to put the whole ref. For example, the first instance woudl say the whole thing to the BICI report with all details, the nxt instances would simply say "BICI report, p. X"(Lihaas (talk) 11:58, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).
 * As I have said above, I think this will just create many redundant references (which isn't any better than the RP template). If you can show me how this would work in a sandbox, that would be good.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  06:03, 20 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Okey, i cant find what i sought (not sure which page), but heres what it would look like:
 * 1. ﻿Report of the Bahrain Independent Commission of Inquiry﻿ (BICI Report). Bahrain Independent Commission of Inquiry. 23 November 2011. p.1.
 * 2. some other ref
 * 3. some other ref 2
 * 4. BICI Report. p. 1300.
 * 5. BICI Report p. 100,000.
 * This is in the MLA ref gide, which can be found across the web
 * Check it out now.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  11:20, 28 September 2012 (UTC)
 * ✅Lihaas (talk) 23:28, 30 October 2012 (UTC)


 * Careful not to stray offtopic. If the UK's reaction is to the uprising in general it shouldnt be here (As in the arms exports). Lead shoul refelct the article, so UNDUE references to a few specific countries would be npov.
 * UK reaction reads as a reaction due to this specific raid as it is mentioned in the same article describing the raid and I believe could be the situation for the rest as well. As for the lead, it mentions GCC counties, so no need to mention UAE foreign minister reaction again. Same for France and Germany as we already mentioned the EU reaction, which is similar, while on the other hand UK reaction was a bit more and thus worthy mentioning. I've expanded it a bit to include rights groups and international observers.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:09, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Cool, it maybe but something like "The UK government announced that in light of the unrest" seems to the generic unrest and not the incudent of itself. As with the closing of the embassy. Perhaps re-word if its from this event.
 * Also the US mention (granted fifth fleet makes it notable, but hthat should be mentioned)(Lihaas (talk) 11:58, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).
 * Fixed the first one. The US fifth fleet is mentioned in the last line of US reaction.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  06:03, 20 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Also italics for the NYT but not AJE?
 * My understanding is that newspapers/magazines/journals names are in italics. If you look at the specific articles, you'll see that (New York Times vs Al Jazeera English.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  13:35, 17 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Okey, thats dodgy. Not sure wht precedent to follow and from where.Lihaas (talk) 01:28, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Here WP:ITALICS.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:17, 18 September 2012 (UTC)


 * The last sentence of "Isa Abdulhasan Ali Hussain" seems out of place. Perhps moved to domestic reactions?(Lihaas (talk) 09:33, 17 September 2012 (UTC)).
 * Fixed.  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:09, 18 September 2012 (UTC)


 * What is the source of this? And viewbook? (theyv not been reviewed). ALSO, is Al Jazeera not copyrighted?(Lihaas (talk) 01:34, 18 September 2012 (UTC)).
 * Tony Mitchell is English instructor who lived in Lulu towers. You can read about his experience here. It seems uploader (who is an activist in Bahrain Watch) took permission from him. Mitchell also stated "I was contacted... by e-mail, asking me for permission to use my YouTube videos. I immediately said yes; the more people who saw them the better." Viewbook is clearly licensed under CC BY SA 3.0, all images have metadata and all except for one were never published before. As for AJE, yes they're all licensed correctly as indicated in their Flickr account. Al Jazeera are pioneers when it comes to licenses, they have http://cc.aljazeera.net/ showing all their CC licensed content (including many videos).  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  08:09, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Okey, seems resolvd Tony Mitchell's statement says "I was contacted by CNN and the BBC" not sure if thats pen to anyone.
 * also dont see copy info for viewb ook?(Lihaas (talk) 11:58, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).
 * Removed the video. Viewbook license is displayed at the right and bottom of the screen .  Mohamed CJ  (talk)  06:03, 20 September 2012 (UTC)

Non-reviewer comments
There doesn't appear to have been any action on this review for over three weeks, since the nominator responded to an issue raised by the reviewer. What is the status here, and can further progress be made? BlueMoonset (talk) 23:50, 22 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Details above done. Im reviewing the table belowLihaas (talk) 23:29, 30 October 2012 (UTC)