Talk:Bobo Holloman/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Neonblak (talk · contribs) 12:07, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

I'll have a review posted on this article soon. Neonblak talk  -  12:07, 5 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Lead
 * - "...and got a spring training from the Chicago Cubs in 1950." - a spring training invite I presume?


 * Early life
 * - "...and did so well enough for his colleagues to convince him to try out for the Macon Peaches..."


 * Minor league career
 * - " Holloman clashed with manager Frankie Frisch due to his outgoing nature, and stated that his attitude would put the pitcher in Frisch's memory; partially due to this, he did not make the major league roster." - I'm confused. Was it Holloman that had an outgoing personality that clashed with Frisch (who wasn't outgoing?). Would this sentence make sense? Holloman's outgoing nature clashed with manager Frankie Frisch, who did not appreciate the pitcher's attitude. It was, partially, for this reason that Holloman did not make the major league roster.


 * Major leagues and later life
 * - I would link appendectomy
 * - "He pitched in three more games afterward, and allowed five runs in 5.1 innings in those first four games." - seems clunky to me. Maybe "He pitched in three additional relief appearances afterward, allowing a total of five run in 5$1/3$ innings through his first four games.
 * - "...Holloman asked Marion for a starting appearance, saying that he pitched better as a starting pitcher..." - two starting and two pitcher in same section of a sentence. Maybe "...Holloman asked Marion for a starting pitcher appearance, claiming that he was better in that role..."
 * - "That day, through rain and a ballpark attendance of under 2,500..." - Maybe "That day, though it was raining, and the ballpark attendance was under 2,500..."
 * - "He hit the ball twice as a batter..." - Did he have two hits? Or did he just make contact with the ball?


 * Other concerns
 * - Shouldn't the pitching records be using endashes? Example, 3-7 (3–7), or game scores like, 6-0 (6–0).
 * - If you have the time or gumption, shouldn't there be non-breaking spaces numbers and stats, like 20-5 record, 2.33 ERA, and
 * - Was there any indications in the references that he and his wife had any children?


 * That is all I noticed, i'll put this on hold for now. Interesting article, though understandably short. I look forward to passing this. Neonblak talk  -  13:43, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

Issues all fixed. Thanks for the review! Wizardman 15:42, 5 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Looks good, well done as usual ! Passing this now.  Neonblak talk  -  04:16, 6 August 2013 (UTC)