Talk:Bomba Patch/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 18:25, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

Comments to follow soon. ♦ jaguar  18:25, 28 October 2023 (UTC)


 * "Eventually, the mod became nationally known" - perhaps this reads better as The mod became popular nationwide.
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * " He stopped working on Bomba Patch" - Jefferson
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "and Jefferson created social media for it" - reads sloppy, he created social media accounts?
 * Yes; fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "Several publications recognize Bomba Patch's impact and legacy in Brazil." - can this be expanded? What did people enjoy about the mods?
 * It's in the impact and legacy section. The sources praised the game for many different aspects, so I'm not sure how to summarize it without it being too long. Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Added Skyshifter   talk  21:12, 30 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "for PlayStation," - missing 'the'
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "using mod "Brazucas"" - again, missing 'the'
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "He initially changed the foreign teams for Brazilian ones" - replaced the foreign teams with Brazilian ones
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "However, the uniform and shield were still the same" - should this not be 'emblem'? And I'd rephrase to However, the team's uniforms and emblems were left unaltered
 * Fixed and rephrased Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "He then edited in clubs from the Campeonato Brasileiro Série A and Série B." - overuse of 'he', replace with his surname
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "Jefferson reports that even in the second championship, " - wrong tense
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "Jefferson also allowed participants in the championship to take the mod home" - you mean he gave away the mod's source code?
 * In the PS2 era this mod was usually sold as physical discs. The source also implies that (translated: One of these participants took a copy of Bomba Patch to a store in the city and exchanged it for another game). Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * " One of them, however, took a copy of the mod to a store in the city, one of whose shopkeepers was in business with a large street market in another city" - this reads poorly and needs to be rephrased
 * I'm really bad with prose, but I tried to make it better. Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * "While its main platform is still PlayStation 2" - missing 'the'
 * Fixed Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

There are a few prose issues, but I'll leave this on hold and will review it again once all of the above have been clarified. ♦ jaguar  19:45, 28 October 2023 (UTC)
 * thank you for reviewing the article! I've responded to everything so far. Indeed I am not very good with prose, but hopefully everything can be sorted out by the end of the review. I can also help clarify some Portuguese sources if needed. Skyshifter   talk  00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you, Skyshifter. I made a couple of copyedits but this looks good to go now. Well done! ♦  jaguar  23:02, 30 October 2023 (UTC)