Talk:Boone Jenner/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator:

Reviewer: Bruxton (talk · contribs) 16:43, 22 March 2024 (UTC)

Review

 * I am happy to review this article. I go through the review rather methodically. I will make suggestions for you to consider. Bruxton (talk) 16:43, 22 March 2024 (UTC)
 * , Thanks so much for taking on this article! HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 18:36, 22 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I have completed much of the review and will do a final check after you have a look at the concerns listed. Bruxton (talk) 14:35, 23 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your edits. There is one concern that has not been addressed and I marked it as not done below. Bruxton (talk) 19:52, 23 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Yes, sorry I wasn’t done yet. Will complete it shortly. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 21:51, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

Lead

 * all of the facts in the lead are repeated in the body with citations. The lead appears to summarize the article well

Lead

 * "As a youth, Jenner played four seasons of major junior hockey" Consider, is there another word we can use in place of youth? ✅
 * I changed it to teenager because he was 19 in his last season, thus still a teenager.
 * "Due to his junior play, Jenner was selected by Columbus" Due to his junior play feels clumsy to me ✅
 * Changed to His play with the Generals resulted in....
 * "Jenner won gold" consider "gold medal" ✅

Early life

 * "to parents Matt and Terri Jenner as the youngest of three boys" consider "and he was the youngest" ✅

Amateur

 * "Jenner was a runner up" I think in this context "runner–up" should be hyphenated ✅
 * "Rookie of the year" consider capitalizing "Year" ✅
 * "to regain his scoring touch" consider that "scoring touch" is ambiguous and colloquial ✅
 * Changed to After coming back to the lineup, he faced difficulties in recapturing his scoring form
 * "before being returned to the Generals" consider this makes him seem like a thing that was returned. Maybe "he returned" ✅
 * "While Jenner did not play in Canada's bronze medal game due to a suspension," consider there was no talk of his suspension prior to the sentence. ✅
 * I added the word elbowing
 * hat trick should bee both linked and hyphenated "hat-trick" first occurrence ✅
 * 2–1 and others like it should probably be 2–1 ✅
 * "although they would eventually be eliminated" should probably be past tense "they were" ✅

Early years (2012–2016)

 * "whom helped him score his first and second NHL goals on October" maybe consider changing whom to who ✅
 * "His rookie season was cut short however" consider His rookie season ended after he suffered a leg injury" ✅
 * "He also helped the team set a new franchise record with an eight consecutive winning streak" consider "eight consecutive wins" ✅
 * "Jenner was held to only 31 games during" consider "Jenner only played in 31 games during" ✅
 * "Jenner was shortly thereafter placed on their injured" consider "shortly thereafter" seems clumsy ✅
 * "power play goals" consider hyphenating power-play ✅
 * "He continued to produce offensively" consider produce on offense ✅

Finding post-season success, captaincy (2016–present)

 * "Jenner experienced a brief dip in scoring" brief dip seems colloquial and undefined ✅
 * Changed to slowed down
 * "by the mid-point of February" consider middle ✅
 * "Coming off his poor season" consider After his poor season ✅
 * "In spite of the move" consider "Despite" ✅ I may have been mistaken about this request and have placed a message for the nominator. talk page message Bruxton (talk) 18:19, 26 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "Jenner still experienced lengthy scoring droughts" consider a better word in place of droughts ✅
 * I merged this sentence and the next so it now says Despite the move, Jenner still struggled to score consistently until the Blue Jackets acquired Thomas Vanek after the NHL Trade Deadline
 * "They struggled to develop chemistry as a line" consider that develop chemistry may not be easy for non english speakers to understand since nothing involves science here. ✅
 * Just removed it so it now says They struggled as a line and were slow to produce points over the first few games of their series against the Washington Capitals
 * "offseason training regime." consider "regimen" ✅
 * "The trio immediately developed chemistry together" consider other description of their ability to work together
 * Just removed it so it now says The trio immediately became a line that was considered to "embody the club’s identity."
 * "Jenner went pointless" consider "went without scoring a goal" ✅
 * " Anderson returned the lines were once again rearraigned. Jenner" consider another word for "rearraigned" or correct spelling ✅
 * "Although his linemates shuffled due to injuries in the lineup" consider that this wording seems clumsy ✅
 * "He began the season strong, tallying two goals" consider another word for strong ✅
 * "play all of his 500th career NHL games" 500th seems incorrect in this sentence ✅
 * "Jakub Voracek and playing on the top power play unit." I think power play needs hyphen ✅
 * "they immediately returned to form and picked up in scoring." consider copyediting the sentence as is ambiguous in descrioption ✅
 * "In spite of their production, the Blue Jackets maintained a losing 20–22–1" consider "Despite" ✅
 * "passing Cam Atkinson for second most played in franchise history." consider adding a determiner like "the" before second ✅
 * "In spite of his personal achievements during the season" consider removing "personal" ✅
 * "On November 18, Jenner skating in his 675th" consider using the past tense "skated" ✅
 * Playing style and Personal life sections are both ok

Images

 * There are three images used in the article and all seem to be properly licensed and free.