Talk:Brad Marchand/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Z1720 (talk · contribs) 20:23, 1 January 2022 (UTC)

Hi, I will be reviewing this article momentarily and use the following template to evaluate the content, then add comments below. If you intend to bring this to WP:FAC, please comment after the template so that I know to add more extensive comments. Please also post below if you have any questions. Z1720 (talk) 20:23, 1 January 2022 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Hi, some comments are posted below. Please comment under each bullet point when the change is made or if there are any questions.


 * Lede:
 * "The Bruins selected Marchand in the third round, 71st overall, of the 2006 NHL Entry Draft." "of the 2006 NHL..." should be "in the 2006 NHL..."
 * ❌ "of the 2006 draft" is correct in this instance, because the round is being described, not the overall placement.
 * "Marchand was raised just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia," Is Hammonds Plains part of the city of Halifax? If so, it should say he was raised in Halifax. If not, the infobox needs to be changed as it says he was born in Halifax.
 * ✅ Hammonds Plains falls within the regional municipality, so I have changed it.
 * "He also became close friends with NHL player Andrew Bodnarchuk," -> "He also became close friends with future-NHL player Andrew Bodnarchuk,"
 * ✅ without the hyphen.
 * "and made a trade with the New York Islanders to ensure that he was drafted in 2006." -> "and made a trade with the New York Islanders to ensure that he was drafted by the Bruins in 2006."
 * ✅ with a wording tweak to avoid repeating "Bruins".
 * "Marchand focused on becoming a playmaker for linemates" playmaker in this sentence wikilinks to a football term. This might need to be changed.
 * changed phrasing to "setting up scoring chances", which is what the term means in hockey.


 * Amateur


 * "and their mutual friend Ryan Hillier." Not much information is given in this article about Hillier, so I think this can be removed as non-notable.
 * "and was awarded the team's Rookie of the Year at the end-of-season banquet." Delete "end-of-season banquet." as too much detail.
 * "giving the skater a go-to role on the team." What is a go-to role? This needs to be rephrased or explained.
 * ✅ changed to "extensive"
 * "After scoring 33 goals and 47 assists in 57 regular-season games with Val-d'Or, Marchand attracted QMJHL attention during the playoffs, where he led the league with 16 goals and 24 assists in 20 playoff games." -> "He scored 33 goals and 47 assists in 57 regular-season games with Val-d'Or, and in that season's playoffs, he led the league with 16 goals and 24 assists in 20 games."
 * "in which he got under the skin of his opponents." Avoid MOS:IDIOM, perhaps "in which he annoyed his opponents."
 * ✅ changed to "frustrated"
 * "He spent the 2008–09 season with the Providence Bruins," -> "He played the 2008–09 season with the Providence Bruins," I think played is a clearer verb.
 * "in which he got under the skin of his opponents." Avoid MOS:IDIOM, perhaps "in which he annoyed his opponents."
 * ✅ changed to "frustrated"
 * "He spent the 2008–09 season with the Providence Bruins," -> "He played the 2008–09 season with the Providence Bruins," I think played is a clearer verb.

I will continue this later. Z1720 (talk) 20:49, 1 January 2022 (UTC)

Continuing:


 * Professional
 * "from Marchand pushed Paille to the bench," pushed to the bench feels like an idiom: this should be explained in a way that someone unfamiliar with hockey would be able to understand.
 * ✅ not an idiom, but specified Marchand was starting and added a link to "bench player"
 * "he had scored 13 goals and 25 points," -> "he had scored 13 goals and earned 25 points" as a player cannot score points
 * "his four shorthanded goals were the most in the NHL." wikilink to Short-handed
 * "and scored more often in lower-percentage scoring situations." What does this mean?
 * ✅ reworded
 * "Marchand came under fire for a punch" under fire is another idiom; was he put under investigation?
 * ✅ clarified
 * "Marchand was one of 31 Bruins invited to play in the "bubble"." The bubble should be explained briefly.
 * ✅ rephrased
 * "Marchand was one of 31 Bruins invited to play in the "bubble"." The bubble should be explained briefly.
 * ✅ rephrased


 * Playing style and criticism
 * Why is this section before the International play section? Unless there's an MOS reason, I think the international play section should be first.
 * ✅ moved

The last column of the table should be labelled "References"
 * Awards, honours and records


 * References
 * Ref 108, "Kalman, Matt (April 16, 2020)" is considered unreliable per WP:FORBESCON
 * I think that there's room for some nuance here, considering Kalman covers the Bruins for NHL.com and the Boston Herald and has literally written two books on the team, but changed to a Sportsnet reference anyway.


 * Infobox
 * His weight is listed as 181 lbs, but this is not mentioned or cited in the article.
 * to playing style section
 * The lede and the infobox both say that he plays left wing, but this is not mentioned or cited in the article body.
 * to playing style section

Version checked Refs checked for verifying information: 1, 12, 23, 33, 46, 56, 61, 69, 74, 86, 90, 92, 93, 131, 133, 136, 138, 142,
 * Reference spot-check


 * Ref 23c is a little close to the phrasing to the source, and suggest that it is rephrased
 * Ref 46 says it is written by "Migration User". Any idea what that means?
 * A migration user means that the author has since left the Herald (or other periodical) and to save server space, their profile was deleted. Since the only Wayback Machine archive is from 2021, there's no way to recover the author name.
 * Ref 56 says it is written by a Staff Writer. That might be included in the ref.
 * Ref 61: The article says, "Marchand admitted in an interview that the Bruins had been "a little bit divided", which had led to "cliques" and had impacted their on-ice performance." The source does not verify that the division led to cliques on the team, only that there were cliques on the team. This sentence should be rephrased.
 * Ref 134 says it is written by the Athletic NHL Staff. This might be included in the ref
 * Ref 61: The article says, "Marchand admitted in an interview that the Bruins had been "a little bit divided", which had led to "cliques" and had impacted their on-ice performance." The source does not verify that the division led to cliques on the team, only that there were cliques on the team. This sentence should be rephrased.
 * Ref 134 says it is written by the Athletic NHL Staff. This might be included in the ref
 * Ref 134 says it is written by the Athletic NHL Staff. This might be included in the ref

Those are my comments. Once the above are addressed I will take another look. Z1720 (talk) 02:25, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
 * I believe everything has been addressed. —  Ghost River  17:03, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
 * My concerns have been addressed, so I will promote this GA. Congrats. Z1720 (talk) 02:53, 7 January 2022 (UTC)