Talk:Brad Miller (baseball)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 12:54, 5 August 2021 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:54, 5 August 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * ”Miller was traded to the Rays prior to the 2016 season, and spent the next two years first at the team's shortstop, then first baseman, and finally second baseman” – “Miller was traded to the Rays prior to the 2016 season, where he was used first as the starting shortstop, then as the starting first baseman, and finally as the starting second baseman.” (Assuming he was the starter—if not, replace the starting with a.)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I would mention his career high 30 home runs in 2016.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * “Miller spent only one month within the Brewers organization before he was released from his contract and underwent microfracture surgery to repair a torn hip labrum.” – “Miller spent only one month with the Brewers before getting released. He then underwent microfracture surgery to repair a torn hip labrum.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and elected free agency after he was designated for assignment by the Indians” – “and played for the Indians briefly before getting designated for assignment.” Makes clearer that he played in the major leagues for them.  Don’t worry about leaving elected free agency out – the lead is not the place to be super-specific, and it can be inferred that he became a free agent based on what follows.
 * ✅ went with "made a brief appearance for" instead of "played for the Indians briefly", but I think both clarify that he had some major league games there —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”After some time” – “After Miller spent some time”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Don’t need comma after Windermere club
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Miller’s father Steve” – “Miller’s father, Steve,”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after Panthers
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

College career

 * ”he scored 11 doubles” – “he recorded 11 doubles”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Link double, triple, runs scored.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”21 bases” – “21 stolen bases”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after ACC Player of the Year
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after college baseball postseason since next part isn’t an independent clause.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Link hit
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Minor league career

 * ”and quickly rose to the top of the batting statistics with a .415 average in his first 14 professional games.” – “and batted .415 in his first 14 professional games.” 14 games played wouldn’t be enough to lead the batting statistics.
 * ✅ Reworded to "made a quick impression", because his fast start was noted by journalists —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Link Pedro Grifol
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after All-Star team
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after 186
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Who ranked him the ninth-highest prospect? Milb.com and Baseball America have different orders sometimes.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”to play for the in the” – USA, I presume
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Link pitcher
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Seattle Mariners

 * ”score a hit” – “record a hit”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”following Nick Franklin as the second Mariner rookie to score his first two career home runs in the same night” – “making him the second Mariner rookie behind childhood friend Franklin to hit his first two career home runs in the same game.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Franklin’s mentioned in the early life section, so you don’t need to link him again.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”scored both a” – “recorded both a”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”coming in 76” – Don’t need coming
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Going into the 2014 season, Miller's position as the Mariners' starting shortstop was put into question by the signing of Robinson Cano, which in turn pushed second baseman Nick Franklin into competition for the role” – “In 2014, the Mariners signed Robinson Cano to play second base. That put Miller into competition with childhood friend Nick Franklin for the everyday shortstop position.”
 * ✅ Reworded slightly from your suggestion, especially since "childhood friend Franklin" was mentioned earlier, but still following those broad strokes —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Right. I think I was reviewing this portion out of order and hadn't yet noticed the earlier instance where you could put childhood friend. That makes more sense! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 01:14, 9 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Again, no need to link Franklin
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”His performance” – you do refer to Miller later in the sentence, but probably best to say “Miller’s performance”, to make it clear right away who you’re referring to. Then, change “won Miller” to “won him”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Might be a good idea to mention the first AL Player of the Week award. When you do, link American League and put the AL abbreviation after it.
 * ✅ Apparently I decided not to do that earlier because the MLB.com announcement was a dead link, but I found an archive of it —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”at center field” – “in center field”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Tampa Bay Rays

 * Link first baseman
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”stumbled defensively” – probably should put “struggled defensively”, stumbled might be taken too literally.
 * ✅ I mean, presumably he literally stumbled as well! —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ” his performance was stronger, as he set the franchise record for most single-season home runs”
 * Also, that sentence isn’t accurate—Evan Longoria’s hit over 30 home runs for the Rays multiple times. If he moved to first base later in the year, he probably didn’t hit 30 home runs at any specific position.  Should probably change this to read that he set a career high with 30 home runs.
 * I looked back to the source and found that it was a shortstop-specific record, so I clarified in the article —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Any highlights from the year? It looks like 2016 was his best season.
 * Found a uniquely-placed homer, plus his 30th of the season! —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Delink 2017 MLB season, since the years are not linked for the most part.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”make room in the 25-man roster” – “make room on the 25-man roster”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Milwaukee Brewers

 * ”his Brewers contract” – “his Brewers tenure”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Take the comma out after Sky Sox
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ” Miller scored an RBI in the second walk-off walk of his career” – “Miller recorded the second walk-off-walk of his career”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, mention the first one wherever it happened.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Stats with the Brewers?
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

2019

 * Since Miller only played in the majors with two of the teams, I would merge the Dodgers section with the Indians section (titled simply, Cleveland Indians) and the Yankees section with the Phillies section (titled simply, Philadelphia Phillies, first stint)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with an anticipation” – “with the expectation”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Link opening day (first mention)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * If you merge the sections, probably don’t need 2019 in the Indians paragraph.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ” On March 24, 2019, Miller signed a one-year, $1 million contract with the Cleveland Indians, where he was expected to replace an injured Jason Kipnis at second base” – He did indeed fill in for Kipnis as the starting second baseman, according to . So what I would do is end the first sentence after Indians, then make the next sentence, “He began the season as the Indians’ second baseman, filling in for an injured Jason Kipnis.”  Then, make the third sentence, “When Kipnis returned on May 15, Miller was designated for assignment.”  Start the fourth sentence, “Miller was frustrated with the team’s choices, telling reporters…”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”the injured list” – “New York’s injured list”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Believe it or not, this is the first time since the lead that infielder has been used, so go ahead and link it.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Phillies section looks good!

St. Louis Cardinals

 * ”had not been” – “had never been”.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”hit two home runs and seven RBIs” – “hit two home runs and recorded seven RBIs”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ” 23 game hits were the highest that season” – “23 hits were the highest in a game that season”. Also, specify if this was the most in a Cardinals game or the most in an MLB game.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Second stint with the Phillies

 * I would call this section Philadelphia Phillies, second stint (or call the first section First stint with the Phillies)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with the Phillies” – “to return to the Phillies”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Delink Cubs, already mentioned
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need the comma after Miller’s career
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Exact date of the walkoff grand slam?
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Player profile

 * Delink American League, since already linked earlier.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * The way the section is currently written, it looks like Goldschmidt may have given him the gloves in addition to the mitt. Perhaps put “three different baseball gloves, as well as a first baseman’s mitt given to him by Paul Goldschmidt, depending”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * Looks good!

Another great article from you. Just some mostly minor changes. Let me know once you’ve made them! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:56, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review – I believe everything has been addressed! If I'd been chipping away at this yesterday, I'd say something about how I brought Brad luck, but he went 0-for-3 today. Silly me, all I got at the park was, uh, (checks notes) a complete game shutout from Zack Wheeler. —  Ghost River  23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I'm sure Miller'd be happier going 0 for 3 in a win than 4 for 4 in a loss any day! Article looks great now, passing. Well done once again! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 01:18, 9 August 2021 (UTC)