Talk:Brenda J. Allen

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Britahammer.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 18:19, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
Dan Comments:

1) are all the parts there? - yes, all the parts are there.

2) is the opening "hook" strong? - The hook could be a little bit stronger. Keep in mind your audience and try to appeal to what they might what to hear.

3) how's the style? (spelling, grammar, clear sentences, correct verb tense) - there are a couple spelling errors and unclear sentences. Beefing up that section will allow for better flow and consistent sentences.

4) overall impression of the article - Overall, your draft looks very good. There are very few changes I would make besides making a few sentences a bit clearer. It may not be a bad idea to look into more scholarly work or major awards that she has won and add them into your work. It is not necessary however, it would help beef up some of the sections. Overall, you have a great jump on this project.

Brielle's Comments

Are all the parts there? Yes- to an extent. You are missing the see also section- which you obviously know. Although I like that you already have yours in wikipedia format. You should show me how to do that! haha. Even though all parts are there I am surprised that she does not have any more scholarly work. She has many awards so I think you could find information through those awards and find even more information. But, overall it is real good.

Is the opening hook strong? I think so. You talked about what university she is at as well as what she is known for. Although, I think to catch the readers attention even more so... you could start it out by saying that she is known for diversity. Then proceed by saying where she is a professor at.

How's the style Honestly, the style is great. You already have it in wiki format as well as I am not seeing much... if any- for grammatical errors.

Overall Impression of the article I really enjoyed your article. Brenda's history and background is interesting and makes you want to read about her. I also liked to see how her history played out into who she became today and the books she has written. I think overall for yours the info that you do have is fantastic... but it is somewhat lacking in areas. Most people have too much content- where Brenda may need some more. See if you can read about her in the book she wrote about difference matters and if there is further info. Doubt it... but worth a shot. — Preceding unsigned comment added by BrielleMary (talk • contribs) 20:44, 2 April 2017 (UTC)

Decent again -- if there are errors, though, they needed to be pointed out. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aburnett412 (talk • contribs) 23:52, 25 April 2017 (UTC)