Talk:Bruno Márquez/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 05:50, 3 February 2022 (UTC)

Hi there, I'll be reviewing this nomination over the coming days. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 05:50, 3 February 2022 (UTC)

Issues with criterion 1a (grammar/spelling)

 * The target article Raptors Naucalpan does not include "the" before its name in the lead; admittedly, I am unfamiliar with naming conventions for Mexican football teams, but is this "the" necessary in the first sentence?
 * "After serving as a backup in his first seaoson" → typo
 * On Wikipedia, typically American football scores are given with the first score being the team in question; in this case "...lost in the national championship game to Auténticos Tigres UANL by a score of 16–15." would be switched to "by a score of 15–16" - there are a couple other instances of this
 * "Week 3" and the like should probably be spelled out as "week three" per MOS:SPELL09
 * I know the 2022 season doesn't start for a few more days, but you could perhaps add a note about if anything happened during the offseason or lead-up to the start of this season.
 * Citation needed for the last sentence in the first paragraph and the last part of the sentence in the second paragraph.
 * Personal life section should probably have something about how he is from Mexico City, with a source.

Hello. Thanks for taking this review. A few points here. I didn't find anything from this past offseason in the news, or anything leading up to the current season, so I was not able to add more updated information other than "the 2021 season was cancelled." Secondly, not sure how you feel about what I did with the height and weight in the infobox? Would that be inaccurate? I couldn't find a way to express it in cm and kg. As for his age, I really don't know anymore. This says he's 24 in late 2013 (his fifth year in college) and this also says he's 24 in February 2014. Either way, I can't find a reliable source on his date or place of birth so I removed them entirely. Still working on sourcing overall but everything else has been addressed. JTtheOG (talk) 02:53, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The lead is much better. I don't have a problem with the height/weight in the infobox, since the metric conversions are accurate. No problem with what you put about the 2021 season. I hate that the date of birth had to be removed, I'm sure one of those is correct but without a reliable source, especially on a BLP, I think you made the right call. There was a decent bit of prose added since I last looked at the article (well done, it all looks very good), so my only other outstanding concerns are listed below.
 * The lead mentions that he is a Mexico City native, but this has been removed from the infobox and isn't mentioned in the body of the article. If sourcing exists for this, it should be added back to the infobox and mentioned in the "personal life" section; if no sourcing exists, it should probably be removed from the lead as well.
 * The second mention of Raptors Naucalpan in the lead doesn't need to be linked.
 * The info about his college team and his two MVP awards are mentioned multiple times in the lead; I'd recommend taking each down to one mention in the lead.
 * "Eduardo "Pocho" Herrera ONEFA player of the year" → "Player of the Year" should probably be capitalized in that style; I also cannot load this citation, but if you can then I'll AGF.
 * Other than that it looks great! PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 02:31, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Just checked back in here and I see that these changes have been addressed so I'm happy to give the tick. Thanks very much for your patience and congrats. PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 19:59, 10 March 2022 (UTC)