Talk:Build a Bitch/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:31, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

I will review this one today! --K. Peake 06:31, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Are you sure Sub Urban should be credited by his real name under songwriters?
 * Not sure what you mean by this as I didn't use his real name anywhere. Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Mention the nationality of this internet celebrity
 * Add a comma after first debut extended play
 * "It was written by" → "The song was written by"
 * "Elie Rizk and Sub Urban, and" → "Elie Rizk, and Sub Urban, while"
 * "Sub Urban and Stefan Max." → "Sub Urban, and Stefan Max."
 * Mention that the release was as a single
 * Isn't it implied by the first sentence that it was released as a single? Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Remove the online music platform introduction to TikTok per this already having been introduced
 * Remove the usage of "Described as" before the track genres
 * "revealed that "Build a Bitch" is" → "revealed that the song is"
 * "Several music critics have suggested that the single" → "A few music critics have suggested that it"
 * Add what else critics highlighted maybe?
 * I would add its feminist message but it sounds like they pointed it out rather than praising it. Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * "The track reached the top ten" → "The song reached the top 10" per MOS:NUM
 * "Malaysia and Singapore." → "Malaysia, and Singapore."
 * "Canada and the United Kingdom.2 → "Canada, and the United Kingdom."
 * Mention after the RIAA and MC certifications that they were in the United States and Canada, respectively, also add that the other was in Poland
 * Wouldn't it sound a bit weird for Canada and Poland since the organizations have the country in their name? Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * "to a Build-a-Bear Workshop where" → "to a Build-A-Bear Workshop where" with the wikilink
 * "2021 UK Music Video Awards and" → "2021 UK Music Video Awards, and"

Background and release

 * "She joined the platform" → "The celebrity joined the platform"
 * "and that Warner" → "and how Warner"
 * "most to [her]" including" → "most to [her]", including"
 * The accompanying music video should only be mentioned in its section not here too, so merge the various countries release with the previous one to say it was released on May 14, 2021 as a single
 * "in the United States on" → "in the US on" per MOS:US

Composition

 * Retitle to Composition and lyrics
 * ""Build a Bitch" has been" → "Musically, "Build a Bitch" has been"
 * "Poarch wrote it with" → "Poarch co-wrote the song with"
 * "Justin Gammella and Elie Rizk," → "Justin Gammella, and Elie Rizk,"
 * Pipe mastered to Mastering (audio)
 * After the mixing and mastering info, add the other sentences that are focused on the comp itself including the writers' comments in the first para; these should be followed by a second para about the lyrics that includes Poarch's point of view and the commentary on themes
 * Hoping I did this correctly. Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * "and your flaws" and that she wants" → "and your flaws", while also saying she wants"
 * "Bob the Builder and dolls" → "Bob the Builder, and dolls"
 * "and that "perky la-las accompany [Poarch] as" → "and "perky la-las" that "accompany [Poarch] as"
 * Pipe Vulture to Vulture.com per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Pipe chorus to Refrain
 * "which went viral on TikTok accused Poarch of sampling a composition" → "later went viral on TikTok, accusing Poarch of stealing a composition"
 * After the quotes from i-D and Clash, add what the chorus is about per i-D
 * I wasn't sure if it should be included since i-D only mentions the chorus but I still added it. Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

Reception

 * Since here and the following section are only one para each, merge them with this being the first one
 * "received positive reviews from" → "was met with positive reviews from" and mention they complimented the sound
 * "is coming into her" → "is making a move into her" per the source
 * "and that Poarch is" → "and noted Poarch is"
 * "in nearly one million videos" → "in around a million videos"

Commercial performance

 * Make this the second para of the above section because reception can be commercial too
 * Per the artist being American, the US commercial stuff should come first
 * "Malaysia and Singapore." → "Malaysia, and Singapore."
 * "the top thirty in Australia,[17] Czech Republic," → "the top 30 in Australia,[17] the Czech Republic," per MOS:NUM
 * "United Kingdom and on Billboard Global 200 chart." → "the United Kingdom, and on the Billboard Global 200."
 * "reached the top thirty in" → "reached the top 30 in"
 * "on the week ending dated" → "on the week ending"
 * "It reached its peak position of 56" → "The song reached its peak position of number 56"
 * "from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." → "from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the US."

Music video

 * Wikilink music video on the img text and in prose
 * "Larray and ZHC." → "Larray, and ZHC."
 * "Within a week," → "Within less than a week," also, this belongs in the reception sub-section after the critics' comments

Reception

 * "to one of the series' characters," → "to the series' character"
 * Pipe Best Visual Effects to MTV Video Music Award for Best Visual Effects
 * "for Best Pop Video – International at the 2021 UK Music Video Awards and" → "Best Pop Video – International at the 2021 UK Music Video Awards, and"

Personnel

 * Good

Weekly charts

 * For the Czech Republic and Hungary, should the radio and streaming charts really be included when the main ones already are?
 * From my understanding, they should be kept as they each reflect two different formats (radio airplay and streaming). Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

Year-end charts

 * Good

Certifications

 * Good

Release history

 * Format → Format(s)

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; that went quicker than I expected! --K. Peake 08:13, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * thanks a lot for reviewing! I've left some comments and addressed everything else! Sebbirrrr (talk) 12:40, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the quick response; I am happy you've made an effort for this and I have comments to make back. I worded the infobox query poorly and I meant should he be credited under his real name instead of stage name like credits generally do, countries should always be mentioned after certification organizations to be specific and merge the released on May 14, 2021 sentence with the following one since that is the format of the release. Outside of these points, I have no issues remaining with your work! --K. Peake 12:59, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * I've added the countries and fixed the release date sentence. I used Sub Urban's stage name since that's how it was provided by AllMusic but before I change it to his real name, should I only do it for the infobox or for every instance where he is mentioned? Sebbirrrr (talk) 13:22, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, taking the AllMusic source usage into consideration it doesn't matter that you aren't using his real name actually! --K. Peake 13:46, 23 July 2022 (UTC)