Talk:Bulldog Drummond/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 02:31, 29 October 2013 (UTC)

Hey SchroCat, assuming you don't mind another from me so soon, I'll be glad to take this review. Initial comments to follow in the next 1-3 days. -- Khazar2 (talk) 02:31, 29 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Not at all: very happy for this to have been picked up - and so soon after the relatively smooth pathway for the previous one too! Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 08:59, 29 October 2013 (UTC)

Okay, this looks really good on first pass. You've included an impressive amount of academic sources here, and I really appreciate your rigorous sourcing even in places like the table of novels and their respective page lengths. It's well-written and to someone who's barely ever heard of Drummond (though I think I did come to the article years ago looking up references from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen), seems to cover the main aspects; I'll check on this a bit more later.

A few suggestions:


 * "The character was an amalgam of Fairlie, " -- This is the first mention of Fairlie in the body; he should get a clearer introduction
 * Now tweaked (and linked). Let me know if you want a bit more added in there. - SchroCat (talk) 19:59, 29 October 2013 (UTC)


 * "Added to Drummond's physical attributes is his common sense" -- The description of Drummond switches from past to present tense here. It should probably all be in present tense, as a fictional character.
 * Yep, now done. - SchroCat (talk) 20:08, 29 October 2013 (UTC)


 * "also characterised him as a mass-market thriller writer" -- is this McNeile? or his Sapper penname specifically?
 * Also tweaked. - SchroCat (talk) 20:10, 29 October 2013 (UTC)


 * "Controversy" is a very generic header-- what would you say to simply "ethnic slurs"? There doesn't seem to be any dispute that that's what we're talking about.
 * What would you think about combining this with the "Reception" section? It would avoid having a criticism section per Criticism, and avoid the problem of what to call the section altogether. -- Khazar2 (talk) 18:12, 29 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Moved into the reception section, as suggested. - SchroCat (talk) 20:08, 29 October 2013 (UTC)

Checklist to follow shortly... -- Khazar2 (talk) 17:45, 29 October 2013 (UTC)

That should just about do it, but you missed one bullet point; I didn't do this myself because I didn't know your preference:


 * The first Bulldog Drummond novel is stylized alternately as Bull-Dog and Bulldog; this should be made consistent. -- Khazar2 (talk) 20:38, 29 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Dont worry - I didn't miss this! I need to do an edit when I get to my sources. The first novel was initially published as Bull-Dog, with subsequent editions as Bulldog. I'll add an efn to explain this, but need to get the source sorted properly first - hopefully in a couple of hours. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 20:43, 29 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Sounds good, thanks! -- Khazar2 (talk) 20:46, 29 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Now consistent in the main text, apart from the first mention (now with efn to explain) and the first mention in the novel list, which I think should show the original title. - SchroCat (talk) 21:49, 29 October 2013 (UTC)