Talk:Bum Farto

Lead section has extra information
@Jessamyn: I have tagged this article as needing clean-up because the lead section has extra information, because the article doesn't discuss the musical or podcast mentioned in the second sentence of the lead section. See MOS:LEAD for purpose of the lead. It provides an accessible overview for an article. Information in the lead should be discussed in the body of the article too. See WP:LEADFOLLOWSBODY. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 20:53, 4 June 2024 (UTC)


 * Thanks for pointing that out. I'll adjust it and make it make more sense in that way. Jessamyn (my talk page) 22:47, 4 June 2024 (UTC)
 * @Cameron DeweLet me know if you think this works now, I shifted a few things a little. Thank you again. Jessamyn (my talk page) 22:54, 4 June 2024 (UTC)
 * @Jessamyn: I have removed the cleanup tag as a result of the change you have made. The Manual of Style advised that biographies should be presented in chronological order, "from birth to death, ..." and "... [w]ithin a single section, events should almost always be in chronological order." There are a few of places where the events seem out of order, perhaps because they are undated. For example, the explanation of how Farto acquired his nickname is explained in the Career and conviction section, yet this even happened when he was a child, and would make more sense being told as part of his Early life, before he left school. His marriage and presumably driving a flashy car happened after he has started working, so is not really part of his "early life" but more logically falls between his "'Career" starting and his "Arrest and conviction". Also, his arrest should mentioned before his conviction because he was caught for the crime before being charged with it, and convicted of it. This is demonstrates due process, and is a constitutional right. The article could possibly be divided into additional sections, such as separating his "Career" from his "Arrest and conviction". His "Disappearance" and being declared legally dead could be in a separate section to his "Legacy". I don't think the words in the sentences need to be changed very much, just the sentences, or facts, need moving around a bit to put the events in time order. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 23:53, 4 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Cool -- I'll take a look at it tomorrow and see if I can get things aligned a little more in line with the MOS. Jessamyn (my talk page) 01:37, 5 June 2024 (UTC)
 * I did some reordering so that it's mostly in line chronologically and changed the sections somewhat so they're both accurate and what you'd expect in a WP article. Jessamyn (my talk page) 17:03, 5 June 2024 (UTC)
 * @Jessamyn: The article reads and flows much better now. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 21:41, 5 June 2024 (UTC)
 * PS: I have reassessed the article as C-class, now. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 21:44, 5 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Great, thank you for your specific and useful feedback. Jessamyn (my talk page) 19:01, 6 June 2024 (UTC)